Deployment and Child support

[Mystaphy]

What is the name of your state? Pennsylvania

I am currently a reservist deployed to OIF 3. I was orginally sending my 19 month old sons grandparents 600 dollars a month for support. They get a lawyer and sue me for custody while im here stating that I voluntarily left the child in her care and joined active duty. In march I cut their payments to 300 dollars mainly because i feel they feel that the support is extra money for them and they arent really using it towards my son. They go through my chain and I find out as an E3 i have to pay 504.60. Recently my sons grandmother forwarded me a hospital bill that tricare didnt pay all of. I took that payment out of the support since it was only 100 dollars and i feel that she should be able to handle a bill that small. Am I right in doing so. Do I have to pay her support and pay for medical while im deployed. Or is she responsible for medical bills that tricare doesnt pay for.

[badapple40]

Pay her what she is owed. Stop jerking with this, you are going to get burned.

[SDDubb]

Really, besides its still your son, not the grandparents. Anything they do isn't OWED to you or the son, its out ouf their own goodwill. They have no financial responsibility - unless you were talking about the MOTHER, and not the grandparents. Nevertheless, do what badapple says - your part.

[Mystaphy]

Originally Posted by SDDubb

Really, besides its still your son, not the grandparents. Anything they do isn't OWED to you or the son, its out ouf their own goodwill. They have no financial responsibility - unless you were talking about the MOTHER, and not the grandparents. Nevertheless, do what badapple says - your part.

Its not goodwill when they are not spending the support money on my child like they should be. Maybe I didn't make myself clear enough. In dealing with the support money by itself who is responsible for the uncovered medical expenses. Shouldn't that come out of the support money?

[badapple40]

Originally Posted by Mystaphy

Its not goodwill when they are not spending the support money on my child like they should be. Maybe I didn't make myself clear enough. In dealing with the support money by itself who is responsible for the uncovered medical expenses. Shouldn't that come out of the support money?

What does the domestic relations court order say? If you don't like how they are doing things, file for a change of custody and take responsibility for the kid yourself. Otherwise, pay up.

[Shay-Pari'e]

[url]http://forum.freeadvice.com/showthread.php?t=235847[/url]

There is no order BA. She and the baby have lived with the fathers parents before getting deployed.

She's a piece of work.

[Mystaphy]

Originally Posted by badapple40

What does the domestic relations court order say? If you don't like how they are doing things, file for a change of custody and take responsibility for the kid yourself. Otherwise, pay up.

Domestic relations isnt involved. There is no order besides the family care plan. I am deployed to Iraq right now and can not take responibility for my son. And you havent answered my question. If I am giving her money to take care of my child. Is uncovered medical expenses covered within that payment I am giving her.

[nextwife]

If the child is living with the grandparents, BOTH parents should be paying support. And splitting medical expenses. The grandparents are not responsible to support the child at all - the parents are.

The poster is obligated only to pay what the court order states. If it says half medical, that is what he pays. If there was a pre-deployment amount that was higher. he should (or have his attorney do it) file for a modification.

Has paternity been LEGALLY established?

[rmet4nzkx]

Originally Posted by nextwife

If the child is living with the grandparents, BOTH parents should be paying support. And splitting medical expenses. The grandparents are not responsible to support the child at all - the parents are.

The poster is obligated only to pay what the court order states. If it says half medical, that is what he pays. If there was a pre-deployment amount that was higher. he should (or have his attorney do it) file for a modification.

Has paternity been LEGALLY established?

The other thread has more information. The deployed soldier here is the Mother. She was in the NG prior to meeting the father and pregnancy. The father signed an acknowledgement of paternity only but is not involved in the child's life. He pays no child support and there are no court orders. The mother is the sole support of the child, since birth and prior to deployment. OP lived with the parental grandmother who is unemployed, supported by her domestic partner (and doesn't make her son contribute to the child's support) and her domestic partner. SHE, the domestic partner is the child's guardian under the mother's family plan, not the paternal grandmother, there is no child support order. Mom was sending the money to the Guardian, who in turn gave the money to the unemployed parental Grandmother to hire an attorney to try and take custody by claiming mom abandoned the child because she was deployed! That is what she is objecting to, that money meant for child support is going to pay an attorney to take custody in defiance of SSCRA and the family plan. If Dad was contributing it might be different, but he is not.

[badapple40]

Go see JAG -- you need to get your chain of command and the legal folks involved. Have you given any other thought to where you would like the child to reside other than where he/she is now?

[rmet4nzkx]

BA,
I told her the same thing, apparently she did, but at first JAG said to try and work it out with grandmothe and then next time, said she couldn't use SSCRA, Grandmother's attorney is trying to say SSCRA doesn't apply, maybe because she was in the NG, they are contending she wasn't deployed that in being deployed she abandoned the child [url]http://forum.freeadvice.com/showthread.php?t=235847[/url]

Please note the same father/son had another child and that mother disappeared with the child, so grand mother is fighting to get this one, taking advantage of OP's deployment

[Mystaphy]

Originally Posted by badapple40

Go see JAG -- you need to get your chain of command and the legal folks involved. Have you given any other thought to where you would like the child to reside other than where he/she is now?

I already been down that route my familys is afraid to get involve because they are unsure of what this woman would do and I cant go back because i am unemployed. At least when i get back ill be able to take care of my son properly. I thank you guys for helping me. She says that she is going to get my sons father to pay something. I am assuming she is going to domestic relations. I dont know how that will work if she gets the courts to give her his right. I really dont know how that works honestly. If she is suing the both of us she want our parental rights revoked correct? But at any rate I still need to know that does the uncovered medical bill that tricare doesnt pay for.

[abstract99]

Wait on the insurance for the claim to go through. Tricare might still cover all of it given that GP took the child to an approved provider. If your pay has gone down due to a deployment then you should have filed for a reduction in the support. Since you did not you are screwed. you might be able to claim in court that you did not realize that your pay would decrease but don't hold your breath on it.

[rmet4nzkx]

Originally Posted by newguyhere

Wait on the insurance for the claim to go through. Tricare might still cover all of it given that GP took the child to an approved provider. If your pay has gone down due to a deployment then you should have filed for a reduction in the support. Since you did not you are screwed. you might be able to claim in court that you did not realize that your pay would decrease but don't hold your breath on it.

New Guy,
OP is the CP and there are no child support or custody orders. The father has abandoned the child and isn't paying child support. The mother of the dead beat father x 2 (he has another child), is contesting this, trying, illegally to get custody. The parnetal GM is NOT the guardian her domestic partner is the guardian. OP has been sending more that their share of support without an order, the father has sent none. What support sent has gone to paying an attorney to take custody.

[rmet4nzkx]

Originally Posted by Mystaphy

I already been down that route my familys is afraid to get involve because they are unsure of what this woman would do and I cant go back because i am unemployed. At least when i get back ill be able to take care of my son properly. I thank you guys for helping me. She says that she is going to get my sons father to pay something. I am assuming she is going to domestic relations. I dont know how that will work if she gets the courts to give her his right. I really dont know how that works honestly. If she is suing the both of us she want our parental rights revoked correct? But at any rate I still need to know that does the uncovered medical bill that tricare doesnt pay for.

For clarity I am adding these from the other thread.

#14
Today Mystaphy

Location: pennsylvania
Posts: 11
Quote:
Originally Posted by rmet4nzkx
You really need to get JAG to invoke SSCRA, you should not have the grandmother's attorney calling the shots out of ignorance. Also see if there is any way you could get hardship leave to return? Is there anyone else who could be the guardian of the child? You really should have established custody and child support orders for the father prior to deployment, he should be responsible for half the child's support and certainally the guardian could do that now. It sounds as if you got caught in the middle not only in a case of an unemployed grandmother with an irresponsible deadbeat son (your child's father), but also a domestic partnership. There is no question that she will be able to establish a significant relationship and visitation, but abandonment should not even be an issue. You should have been able to invoke SSCRA and not have to retain an attorney until you return. The Grandmother should be paying all the attorney's costs for her frivolous lawsuit, has your attorney attempted to have the case dismissed? When are you scheduled to return? Do you have a job to return to?
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Im glad someone else find something wrong with this case too. I wish I had someone else too look after my son but i dont have anybody all my family is out of state. My lawyer put in my pleading that this case should be dismissed the hearing is sometime next month. I do feel a little bit better dealing with it now rather than dealing with it when i return from home just to get it out of the way. I did establish a custody order from the day my son was born but domestic relations said because he was not living with me while I am deployed I had to close the case. DR said that she could open a case against him(well the person who has guardianship of my child). I dont have a job at the moment I am a senior in college I have 30 credits to go. I did ask my lawyer about suing her for the cost of this suit but he said I wouldn't win. Im supposed to be back around march next year.
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PLEASE, contact JAG and get this straightened out. Please see your other thread on the military forum, badapple is a military attorney, his first response to you there was based on less information than here, it is really easier to keep one thread going.

Contact Domestic Relations in PA, your deployment or who the father is living with has nothing to do with his responsibility for child support unless you took some action to terminate parental rights. Handling this remotely even with representation is difficult, are you sure your attorney is familiar with SSCRA?

You should only be responsible for 1/2 the child support and the father responsible for the other half, same for uncovered medical bills. But if there is no child support order in place you send what you send, do you have an allotment sent?

Please understand that since the biodad has no custody rights or orders, the child does not have to remain in the same state so you could have another guardian in your family plan and you may want to make arrangements to change the guardian to someone in your family, SSCRA allows for your residency and that of your dependents to remain stable no matter where you are located and you have several options including your permenant residence if it is out of state. Both the civilian attorneys don't seem to have a grasp on the implications and protections of SSCRA and therefore are continuing as if there was no protection under SSCRA. This should be dismissed and you should get all your legal costs paid because there was no reason to bring the suit in the first place.

Please go to JAG.

It is confusing, when you say "She" who do you mean, Grandmother, guardian, one of the attorneys?

Until the grandmother has standing, she can't go to domestic relations, you can, or the guardian can.

Is she suing the guardian?

What exactly is she suing you for, you can't guess about this. There is a big difference between suing for child support and TPR. If they are not getting support, they can go to social services and SS will have standing to sue, that is one way. I also suggest you contact the courts for a Guardian ad Litem to represent your child, since the present guardian from your family plan is not doing that appropriately.

Please go to JAG and get SSCRA invoked. Please consider a hardship leave.

Get someone responsible in your family to become guardian of your child while you are deployed, it is tempoary and doesn't matter if you are unemployed or not, if dad was paying his child support, your employment would not be the issue. When you return apply for child support back to the date the father signed the paternity acknowledgement. Get restraining orders.

When you return, please get away from these predators! Go to scool somewhere else even if you only have 30 credits left, you can transfer.

Please keep us updated.