Does adultery mandate automatic prosecution?

[totalimpact]

What is the name of your state? California

I have been seperated from my wife of 2 years for a few months, and we have been meaning to get a divorce, but her being away in the navy has kind of delayed it, and she has since become pregnant with another man.

We have heard that she could loose rank, pay and jail time. I have heard that if I dont push the matter she wont face any charges and everything will be fine.

The main issue being that I dont want the child to have my name, at which point everyone will know she was with someone else while married to me.

Is there any reasonable way around this issue that will maintain her well standing in the military?

[badapple40]

Originally Posted by totalimpact

What is the name of your state? California

I have been seperated from my wife of 2 years for a few months, and we have been meaning to get a divorce, but her being away in the navy has kind of delayed it, and she has since become pregnant with another man.

We have heard that she could loose rank, pay and jail time. I have heard that if I dont push the matter she wont face any charges and everything will be fine.

The main issue being that I dont want the child to have my name, at which point everyone will know she was with someone else while married to me.

Is there any reasonable way around this issue that will maintain her well standing in the military?

Hey guess what... if you don't take care of this now, you are going to end up paying her child support for the kid you didn't father while your wife cuckolded you.

[totalimpact]

Originally Posted by badapple40

Hey guess what... if you don't take care of this now, you are going to end up paying her child support for the kid you didn't father while your wife cuckolded you.

I understand all that, a paternity test will be done, but what I am asking is how this will affect her position in the military, I want to know what will happen before we proceed with anything.

[fozzy2]

Originally Posted by totalimpact

I understand all that, a paternity test will be done, but what I am asking is how this will affect her position in the military, I want to know what will happen before we proceed with anything.

You will probably want more than just a paternity test. You will want a court document explicitly stating that you are not the child's father and that you bear no responsibility to him/her. The law and its application vary widely on this issue, but in some jurisdictions if you don't legally object within a certain amount of time, the child becomes your responsibility despite the fact that you aren't the father. A couple of years down the road you probably don't want your ex filing for child support -- and getting it. It can happen.

Now, none of this necessarily involves the military. However, she is responsible for keeping her military records up to date, including any applicable information about paternity/authority over her dependants. It can be hard to keep some things secret. Generally, however, no one in the military will care much if no one else (like you) doesn't make a stink about it. And if it is not your child, it is not your problem.

My advice - talk to a lawyer and make certain your efforts at tact don't come back to bite you in the posterior.

[marine]

Very quietly after the Clinton admin stood down, Bush passively 'allowed' provisions to be enacted that now enable a commander more discretion (as per Cox Commission) in dealing with these situations specifically listing separation as a potential mitigating factor. Your reaction will dictate and guide their reaction in some cases. I would heed the previous posts and make some quick, hard decisions as remaining married may be construed as passive acceptance. You have her on the proverbial ropes in divorce court with a valid paternity test and for a male, uniformly and generally speaking of course, that is rare. Truly sorry this has happened. Is she seeking support from the paternal? Is he military? Senior in rank? Married as well? Might also come from his end as well.