enlistment DQ'd???

[mjlpslfl]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? FL

This is a little long, so please forgive me in advance. Just want to make sure I get everything in.

My boyfriend signed up with the Navy in Feb. He is in DEP and will be shipping out in a couple weeks.

in June, we found out I was pregnant and he immediately told his recruiter. We had been planning on getting married before he shipped, but the recruiter told us that we should wait til after boot camp to get married (the baby would be born about the same time he'd be getting out). Also, I have two kids from a previous relationship, so he didn't want him to get DQ'd for having too many dependents.

So now, after reading up on a few things (and asking questions to a few of his family members who were NAVY), we are both concerned that he will get in trouble if MEPS is not informed that he has a pregnant girlfriend (as this would make him a single parent and therefore DQ'd).

I know that the recruiter did not notify MEPS. I am concerned that when we do get married after boot camp and he goes to submit the information to DEERS about his dependents, that the baby will present a red flag, following an investigation and then ultimately leading to a dishonorable discharge or fraud.

I'm concerned because every time he tries to talk to his recruiter about this, he does not really tell us if this is true or something to be worried about....he just kinda tells us not to worry.

Can anyone shed some light on what is going on here and if there is truth to what we've been hearing from people?

thank you.

[DRTDEVL]

A pregnant girlfriend is not a dependent, neither is the fetus. He would need a dependency waiver if you got married now, but you will be fine if you set a wedding date for, say, 21 December. Get married over his Christmas leave, and make sure he has the certified copies of the marriage license, your children's birth certificates and all of your Social Security numbers. He can then enroll you all in DEERS upon his return, and you can benefit from the TRICARE prenatal services.

[mjlpslfl]

He's in the Navy and from what I've looked up and researched, he does not get leave in the NAVY (not even for Christmas while in Boot Camp). Is this wrong information?


Thank you very much for the info....we have been told so many things and just needed it sorted out.

[DRTDEVL]

I do believe "A" school allows Christmas Exodus... You'd have to check with Navy personnel on that one. It may also be dependent upon the "A" school in which he is enrolled.

If he ships in 2 weeks, he should be done with Basic Training prior to Christmas break.

[questionia]

Drtdevil - are you sure a waiver would be required for his spouse? If it is just a fetus at this point I'm not even sure he would have to say a word. Would the step children count if he hasn't adopted them? Plus - what is he coming in as? If he is coming in as an E3 he might have more room. Just thinking...

[mjlpslfl]

His graduation is not until Jan 7, 2010 so he'll be in boot camp during that time. His actual ship out date is November 12. I was told the NAVY and Air force do not let you come home for Christmas while in boot camp.

[Zigner]

Originally Posted by mjlpslfl

His graduation is not until Jan 7, 2010 so he'll be in boot camp during that time. His actual ship out date is November 12. I was told the NAVY and Air force do not let you come home for Christmas while in boot camp.

Are you saying that he has not left for bootcamp yet?


Get married now.

[Shadowbunny]

Originally Posted by questionia

Drtdevil - are you sure a waiver would be required for his spouse? If it is just a fetus at this point I'm not even sure he would have to say a word. Would the step children count if he hasn't adopted them? Plus - what is he coming in as? If he is coming in as an E3 he might have more room. Just thinking...

If he marries her, and she has custody of her children, they count as his dependents, even without adoption.

And there's a limit as to how many dependents a new enlistee can have - I'm pretty sure that he'd be over the limit.

The Navy has an official message board that should be able to answer your questions.... [url=http://www.navy.com/messageboard/index.jspa]AMERICA’S NAVY – A Global Force for Good[/url]

[mjlpslfl]

We were going to get married before he left initially and then we got pregnant. So that's why the recruiter told us to wait until after boot camp to get married (myself and the 2 boys count as 3) and that is the maximum number you can have to enter.

My concern is that in the NAVY, there is a whole regulation in regards to "single" parents and from what I've read online, they would consider him a single parent even though the baby is not born and therefore, be disqualified from enlisting. He would then have to have the recruiter file for a wavier (which would result in him missing the ship out in Nov) and by the time that the paper work would be done,the baby would be born and we would have too many dependents.

That's the part I don't understand. If we're not married, why would they still count myself and MY kids as his dependents? It seems wrong to me, but the few navy people I've talked to say this is true, although I have others saying it's not.

and the recruiter is no help at all and at best is trying to avoid any and all questions pertaining to the issue.

Most Navy people are telling us that MEPS needs to be informed of me being pregnant. They said that once he is out of boot camp and we are married, once he tries to sign us up for DEERS, that they will do the math and realize that the baby was conceived before he left for boot camp and that this will cause an investigation?????

I know.....this is confusing. I'm gonna check out a few of the navy sites and see if someone has some answers. thanks to all who have tried.

[def.colicab]

Here is what you do. My buddy did it and had absolutely no issues.

He goes to boot camp and graduates. As soon as he comes home from boot camp(which he should because most of the time they get a couple of weeks for leave at this point) you guys get married. He enrolls you into DEER as soon as he gets back to his command whereever that may be. You have the baby during this time? well then he can add the baby too.

I dont see how it can be a disqualifier if you marry before going to bootcamp. thats just sad if the military is doing this.

Now for paying for the pregnancy if you are not married yet... Get insurance through the state or suck up the bill and pay it off when you guys are married. It should be fine. When I was in A school after boot camp, I was able to come home for a week for christmas. So he should be fine there. Also, when he gets to his schooling, there is usually a waiting period of 2-6 weeks before his classes pick up. I am sure he can work something out if he talks to his command and wants to come home for a couple days to get married and see the birth of his child.

Hopes this helps!

**edit. IF the DEERS does the math to find out you were pregnant before he joined, then just say that you guys were separated and he found out about you being pregnant and decided to do the right thing by marrying his baby's mother and taking care of his kid. that should alleviate most of the issues. To be honest, there shouldn't be too much of an issue with this.

[Shadowbunny]

Originally Posted by mjlpslfl

That's the part I don't understand. If we're not married, why would they still count myself and MY kids as his dependents?

If you're not married, you and the kids are NOT counted as dependents (unless the kids are his, which I believe you said they aren't). However, the pending baby IS a dependent, regardless of the marital status.

Go to [url=http://www.military.com]Benefiting the US Army, US Navy, US Air Force, Marine Corps, Coast Guard - Military.com[/url] website, and look for their forums. There are Navy recruiters on those forums who will be able to give you the regs.

[mjlpslfl]

Thanks everyone for the advice.

I ended up talking to the head recruiter at the office and he cleared up most of the things we were hearing.

He said that we were fine, no laws being broken or anything. The "single parent" regulation has to deal mostly with mother's going in or parents that are not married and have no one to take care of their kids, which means that they have to make sure there is someone who can legally take care of their child and have power of attorney in case something should happen while the sailor is gone.

He said it was not a big deal me being pregnant, that my fiance is not the only one in the situation we are in and all he has to do is sign a financial affidavit and an affidavit stating what his intentions are regarding myself and the arrival of the baby and they have to turn it into MEPS (it will pretty much that he plans on taking care of the child and marrying me when he is done with boot camp).

He also confirmed that they NAVY does not allow leave for christmas during boot camp (and he will be there during that time) so I will not be able to see him or get married until the weekend he graduates, which will be sometime during the second week of January...so Hopefully this baby will wait until then. He said that if we wanted to, we should research things and try to get married while he gets a little time off between boot camp and A school (he said that most likely it will only be 3 days...in Chicago where boot camp is). Once we are married, that everything will be fine for him to go ahead and sign myself, the boys and new baby with DEERS.

Another cool thing, he told me that the Nay started last year allowing fathers paternity leave, so he advised us that if he has to wait for a spot to open in A school (which he said might happen depending on how many people are being trained for that job), he may have a month or two wait, that he can take that paternity leave during that time during which we can can married if we already haven't.

SO...sorry that I wrote so much. Just wanted to let everyone know and if anybody was just looking on here for some answers, maybe it would help!

thanks again!