the ever elusive BAH

kvnsdlr · #1 09-25-2008, 07:43 AM

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? NC, moved to GA

Hello All,

I am an E-5 retired from the NCNG and I have an issue. I married a woman between tours and things didn't work out. Sadly, she is now asking for a divorce and stating that the 'separation' happened DURING my tour even though she never filed ANY paperwork.
 
Things went sour within three months, she took my charge card on a spending spree, used the phone I had bought her to call up her ex, then after telling her I was in the most dangerous place in all of Iraq, decides to tell me she cheated on me.
 
I tried to get back to the house, exchanging dates with other lower enlisted to get back to sort things out. Upon arriving I was told by her not to come to our town where I was in the process of buying a house for us because she was moving and didn't want me to know where she was going to currently live. I went anyway, thinking that seeing me may spark the passions that brought us together in the first place.
 
Things were bad, she drove my stuff to my folks days before I arrived and screamed at me on the phone, 'I never wish to see you again'.
 
I cancelled the home purchase, took back the credit card, the rings, and asked for her spousal military ID. She complied with everything but the ID.

I didn't hear from her for a few months but wished for things to rectify between us. She contacts me in Iraq and states that she has health issues and not to divorce her because she cannot pay for health coverage. I am worried and concerned and even though I inquired about a divorce, truly wanted to repair the relationship between my wife and I.

I return home to the wife killings at Bragg on the third page of the paper, my wife asking for a restraining order, and upon entering the courtroom, seeing my wife six months preggo with someone else's child.

I am now trying to divorce her two+ years later and although I have paid off her/my credit card for 5K+ dollars, she is trying to get me in trouble with the military for not paying her BAH stating that she never got a dime of it and we were separated for over half of my tour.

I did a good job, I loved and was faithful to my wife, she cheated, she got preggo, I paid for the baby, I paid for her to fill her tank to drive and see her lover, where did I go wrong OTHER than picking the wrong woman??

Any advice will be greatly helpful, thank you!!

Peligroso27 · #2 09-25-2008, 10:27 AM

Sounds like you picked a real winner. Not knocking you at all, it is just unfortunate that this kind of thing happens more often than it should. She is right, you are required to pay her BAH while married and support her financially. If she had brought this up earlier then she might have been able to get a court order that is required to make you pay it. The only way this can bite you is if you had a separation agreement that stated you would pay her xxxxx amount each month and failed to do so. Just from reading your post I doubt that is the case. I would highly recommend that you seek some counseling and retain the best divorce lawyer in your area. Again, I am sorry that you had to endure this whole situation and I would like to thank you for your courageous service. Best of luck.