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Getting out of deployment/going home

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Jbeonxio

Junior Member
What is the name of your state? WI

This is basically in response to the other thread about the soldier from NJ not wanting to be deployed. I can sympathize, but also, many of you just instantly logged on and attacked this guy, instead of either A) trying to bolster his spirit or B) really working on helping him with a real solution to his problem.
First off, shame on those who attacked him. Let me give you some background:
I joined last year, for several reasons. I wanted to get out of minor debt, have my schooling paid for, have a job I could fall back on in case I needed to. ( I am currently 26, and have no college degree)
I decided at 24 I was too old not to have been finishing college. Now, I love my facial hair, so that made my decision to join the NG, and the reason I joined my unit was the fact that the unit I did join had an NGRF mission with Homeland Security, and was supposed to be Non-deployable. Fine. Sweet deal, since if I wanted to go to war, I would have gone RA.
6 months in, I recieved my warning order that I might get deployed. Plans to marry my girlfriend were underway, and the day before we got married, I recieved the MOB papers. We were ready to deal with it, so I said okay, and left for training. We were undertrained. It proved a harder circumstance than I and my new wife could deal with. Even with my wife on two anti-depressants, she still had a breakdown and had a very hard time dealing with me being gone. At this point I started talking to my superiors asking to be sent home. I could still perform at the home unit, and be home for my wife. This went on for 2 more months, from asking, to pleading, to stating my case, and it fell on deaf ears. I went from my pltn sgt, all the way to the BN Capt. No avail.
Then I was sent overseas. ( I am still here, in fact) and my wife, on a night out with her friends, goes back to an old habit of drinking, ( she's an alcoholic) and started smoking again. ( In oct this year it would have been a year clear) Now, for some of you, it's not a big deal, for me, this has caused extreme emotional distress, constant stomach cramps, restlessness, extreme mood swings, and periods of violence that only an extreme amount of will power prevents me from lashing out. I have spoken to my Chaplain about it, and nothing has been done.
Some people can leave their families, friends, and lives for a year, and perform what they are supposed to do in their duties. Others have a harder time seperating, like me. I would give anything to go home, in fact, and still would, and still want info on how to do so. I am 1 of 5 other people doing my job, I am not necessarily needed in theatre. I am also useless on a Guntruck, seeing as how I am colorblind, ( unable to be infantry) so I have a purely administrative job. Again, not a very necessary job where I am. ( due to OPSEC I can't really say any more...most of you should understand)
Now, for those that will tell me, " You signed up, deal with it." and everything along those lines, Yes, I did sign the contract. I signed when my life was in shambles, I had no direction, and no point. As soon as my life headed in the right direction, however, it was torn aside for this. Knocking me off of my goal. Yes, life changes so quickly, it's ridiculous. Had this happened to me a year previous, I wouldn't be in the state I'm in, however, like I stated, Life changes quickly.
Go ahead and hit me with your best shot, Ill do my best to defend, and hopefully get some understanding and maybe a good idea of how I can go home from this deployment to those that truly need me more in their lives.
 


marine

Member
This sickens me. I had to fight eight years to get (in and ) over to Iraq and as of this month, my fight is over, and I am going.

The bad thing is not combat, Soilder. We all die. Every single one of us will die. They bad thing is laying awake at night worrying about your troops who are in harms way when you sleep comfy each night impotent as to their welfare.

I am sure you have issues. Many do. I am sure you are an exceptional soilder, but think of your troops and not of yourself.

I am colorblind and begged for a waiver to be infantry. I am an 11B. You are not useless on a guntruck unless you dont have both eyes and any fingers.

110%. Anything less is a travesty to yourself and your troops and likely to get them killed.

That is all.
 
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Jbeonxio

Junior Member
I expect it does

I fully expect posts of this kind to sicken some people, especially the "hooah" people in the military. Those who wanted to fight, and want to fight.
Let me tell you some more things about the military.
When I signed, I was told that I'd be making nearly $500 dollars a month on my drills, due to my test scores, and the fact that I was signing up with a kicker. What I wasn't told, was that I was only being told what my G.I. bill pay would be. Had they ever mentioned my weekend would only be worth $150, I never would have signed those papers. I make more money at my civilian job. I loose money going to drill.
At basic, you expect to be disrespected and treated like scum, and they don't fail that. However, when you leave that enviroment, you don't expect that to continue. I've run into so many people that still sit on their high horse, and even if their rank is one above yours, they believe they are better than you.
We have soldiers fighting soldiers. Black, hispanic, white...everyone should see green, and most don't. That should sicken you.
We have soldiers who handle our mail. they read what's in the box, and sometimes, they steal it. THEY STEAL FROM THEIR OWN!! That, should sicken you.
Soldiers loose it, decide they've been away for too long, and cheat on their spouses, rape other soldiers, and attack them. That should sicken you. It does me.
When a soldier tells his command that he does not believe he is fit to be deployed due to various reasons at home, with his mental and emotional state, and they say, " I don't want to be here either" instead of looking and saying, "let's have you talk to someone who can analyze you" That sickens me.
Every day since deployment my stomach has hurt. It's eating itself. I have a nervous twitch that jerks my head to the side so hard it cracks my neck. By nervous twitch I don't mean I'm nervous, I mean it's a case of nerves and stress. My body is broken out in acne due to stress, and it's painful.
A person who likes to be surrounded by friends and loved ones, who desires his privacy, and is allowed none, it makes it difficult. I have no friends in my unit. At my six month mark when I could switch units and enter an Infantry unit, I recieved my stop loss orders, so don't think I'm "wussing" out.
I do believe I have more important things in my life to do than to be here, away from my wife, and family.
Some people can seperate themselves from friends and family, and be gone for a year. Some people can't do it. Sometimes it's seperation anxiety, sometimes it's mental, sometimes it's just nerves. Other times, soldiers just don't want to deal with it, and others still believe we shouldn't be here. I am one of those.
I put my uniform on, and I only intended to put it on once a month. I never wanted war, and the military was a last ditch attempt to save myself. A means to an end.
I never expected the lies, abuse, and horrible things people in my Army can do to one another, instead of focusing on the enemy.
Now, you tell me if none of that makes you sick, vs the one of few soldiers who is literally slowly dying inside because he is forced to be here. There are many here who wanted to be here and will stay. I am not one of them.
Unfortunately, I think it will come down to me finally having a mental breakdown, and when I snap, it won't be a good thing. Wouldn't it be better for someone to realize the signs when I tell my superiors and do something before that happens? Or I come home a broken person, who will spend the majority of my life in therapy, fixing what broke inside?
Hooah to you fighting men, who want to be here, who are "sickened" by those that don't believe and want to go home, but are more than happy to Rape 13 year olds and burn their family. Face it Marine, you guys don't do yourselves any favors in bringing yourselves honor. Or is that not sickening to you? Maybe that family deserved it, right?
Put your sick feelings in the proper direction, and realize that my statement is a cry for help, not a plead for someone to sympathize or feel sorry for me.
Also, despite the daily pain I endure, I still do my job, don't I? I'm still here. Unlike the man most people voted for, I haven't disappeared from my post, I've stayed and done my job, and never refused a drug test. Of ourse, if I did that, I might have a shot at being president some day.
 

MilitaryWifeIN

Junior Member
Jbeonxio~

I do understand where you're coming from and I fully understand where your wife is coming from as well. My husband is deployed. We were married 1 month when he received his deployment orders. I am on 2 antidepressants, I have 4 children at home ( 2 his, 2 mine) so I have their seperation anxiety to deal with as well.

When the deployment first came about my husband asked me if I needed him to get out of it. His mother has a terminal disease and he is her medical POA and relative. I looked him dead in his eye and told him never. No matter how many times we've been lied to, no matter how many times we've been let down, the fact of the matter is that he is a soldier. He enlisted, he trained, he made the choice to serve his country. He thanked me for understanding. It killed me! I wanted to say stay home. I wanted to beg him to get out of it. I wanted to say I'm afraid and that being alone with 4 kids while he was in danger was too much to bear. And it is too much to bear. Yet, at the same time, I am so proud of him I could just burst. He put his country and his family before his own selfish needs. He is awesome!

The reason so many people attack when someone wants out is simple. We take great pride in our military and those who choose to serve. So when someone wants to reap the benefits the military offers while bashing the military overall, it shows a lack of pride and integrity.

As for stealing from their own~ these are PEOPLE. No matter where you work, reside or play there are always going to be some people who lack morals. This is not a military issue, it's a life issue. At 26 years old, you should already know this. As for the pay issues, why didn't you pull up a pay table before committing yourself? Or at least before you went to basic? You could have pulled out then.
 

marine

Member
well said milwife.

Courage is not the absence of fear, its the ability to overcome it.

An E-5 doesnt even make 500 a drill nor an 0-1E! now when you get stateside or go to school, the MGI bill plus drill should put you well over that. yet thats just money? In the grand scheme of things, what is money? why is it important to yuo? gets your bills paid, gets you to school? why? to get a better job, to takegood care of your family? so really money is about security. you are doing that for the Iraqi people. you are making history and a part of something big. no matter what anyone believes is the reality fo the state of affairs or reason to go, the side effect is democracy for a people who do not have one so that they too, good humans, can have the same chance that we were given by courageous men.

America could never pay you what you deserve for what you are doing! The sacrifice, but they do 'repay' it with respect and admiration.

hang in there just a bit longer.

leave a legacy. I bet you'll look back and tell your grandkids..and you'll beam when your children acknowledge the fact you were special. you made a difference. and that is the lasting mark that many people never make on this Earth. the same Earth we all leave.

I thank you. I know the Iraqis thank you.

Hooah.
 
You see then. You really just joined for the wrong reasons. You made your bed, now lie in it. We are in a time of war. My husband was deployed on September 12th,2001 to the twin towers. My husband was there for months. When he came home, all he wanted and still wants to do is join his brothers in war. Instead, all he does now is go on operation freeze missions to new zealand. Trust me, I don't ever want that phone call, but if that phone call ever comes, i will stand by my husband proud.
 

Joopster

Junior Member
Geesh. Like you said. Suck it up.

I have been gone for a total of 500+ days in the last 2 and a half years. I got married 2 years and 2 months ago.

You are not worthless over there and you will pull through. I understand it's hard for your wife but she will make it through and so will you.

You said that you signed up on the premise that you may hardly ever be deployed. This is one of those times and you owe it to everyone to keep your spirits and do your job.

Good luck.
 
Im also in iraq, finally leaving in a few days after a long year. Im not going to cut on you because you dont want to be here. I didnt want to be here either. but you have to look on the bright side. you dont have to leave the wire. When you wake up in the morning, you dont have to wonder if this is the day. I would have loved to stay on the FOB but im a scout, and my job is on the otherside of the wire. Instead of thinking that you are being wronged because you have to be here. think of how lucky you are. you dont have to worry about IEDs,EFPs, and RPGs. or about fight fights. and you being here might save someone else from having to come over that has already done a deployment. I just dont understand what makes you think that you or your family are more important then anyone elses family. were all seperated from our familys. the rest of us just deal with it. life will be alot easier if you drop the idea of going home early. and focus on making it through your deployment. and back home.
 

SHORTY LONG

Senior Member
"chrisdizz22, Thank You For Your Service..."

chrisdizz22, thank you, and ALL of our Service Members for your Service in defending our way of Life, and our Freedom and Liberties; Thy Lord God Almighty Bless and keep you all safe in Christ Jesus Name, Amen.
 
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When I signed, I was told that I'd be making nearly $500 dollars a month on my drills, due to my test scores
test scores dont count when it comes to pay, my asvab and gt scores were high enough for the army to recommend me for west point. and they are high enough that i qualify for SF and all entry level MOSs, but they have never made a difference in pay, Time and rank is what makes the pay go up.. An E8 with 20 years is only making around 550 for a muta 4 drill. If an E nothing private is making 500 per drill, dont you think the recruiters doors would be beat down, with people trying to enlist. 500 for 16 hours of work. thats more then alot of people make in a 40 hour week.
 

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