Help! Caught In The Middle!

[Xeremeh]

What is the name of your state? TX

Hello, everyone. I'll try to make this as descriptive as possible for a better result. I'm a lower-enlisted soldier in the Army in Texas. Never had any marks on my record, and am not very well-versed with the UCMJ, so I'm trying to figure out what I need to do in this case. I went out to a club last weekend with a friend ah.. we'll call her Mary, and through her, met a married couple by.. let's say Jane and John Smith. They seemed kinda mad at eachother all night, and Jane was really skittish of John. I asked my friend about that later on during the night, and she said that John beat Jane alot, and she was filing for a divorce, which would explain alot of that tension, I would think.

Well, the next day, Jane came with Mary to my barracks to hang out with her friends here, and Jane and I spent most of the time talking. I was told in a nutshell the same as the above, that he assaulted her several times, and that he sleeps with his ex-wife and has a girlfriend as well, and is very controlling.. the normal things you would expect from that type of person, and that she was trying to file for divorce. We got along pretty well, and I had already invited Mary to a barbeque the next day at the barracks, and so invited Jane as well.

I found out that Mary couldn't make it to the bbq, but Jane came anyways. We went to go pick up the food from the store, and upon arriving back, were sorting it out in my room with my roommate there as well. We had the door open because we were about to go downstairs and start cooking. All of the sudden, John rushed into the door and threw me into the fridgerator, yelling at me that I was "trash for having sex with Jane". After getting out from under him, and my roommate's help with getting him out of the room, John and Jane started yelling at eachother and it ensued through the barracks and out into the parkinglot, where she told him again that she was going to get a divorce from him. He started crying, shouting that he was going to kill himself, until a staffduty NCO managed to get him under wraps and send him away. She left as well with one of his NCOs. My BN's SDNCO came up to take a statement from me, and my roommate as well, and after telling him the above, he said that shouldn't be a problem, and that John and Jane wouldn't be allowed back into the barracks, and left. Note also that I am good friends with this SDNCO, and asked him later if anything had come of that, and he said nothing, and as long as we do not have sex, it shouldn't be an issue.

I was TOLD later on that John got his things from his house, and his NCOs told him not to go back. A few days later, Jane contacted me saying that she was sorry for what had happened, and she wanted to be friends with me, and that she was due to file divorce papers on Friday.

Thursday night rolls around, and I have Friday off, so I go out to a club again. Jane and Mary are there, and apparently John keeps texting Mary (because Jane has her phone turned off), asking where Jane is, etc., etc. Jane tells Mary, and she does so, not to tell him. We hang out at the club, and later, she asks me to drop her off at her car which is parked in a public lot because she caught a ride with Mary, who wanted to stay longer. I take Jane to her car, and tell her to make sure she calls me when she gets home. She calls me about 30 minutes later, saying that she pulled into her driveway, and John was there. Jane decided not to have an altercation with him, and instead turned around to go to her friends house. John then got into his car and sped off after her. (She is on the phone with me while this is happening, as well). She said he almost hit her a few times, and asked what she should do. I advised her to call 9-1-1 and tell them that her husband is trying to run her off the road in a fit of rage. Whether she did or not, I do not know. I know she went to Mary's house and stayed the night, although he harassed them from outside all night long and over the phone and through text messages.

Friday comes as well, and as I am walking around my barracks with my friends and doing laundry throughout the day, I notice that John's car drives through atleast twice. I heard later from Mary that he was looking for Jane's car. Friday night, I go out to the club again with my friends, and Mary and Jane are there. It also may be important to note that during the night, Jane tells me that she filed the motion for a divorce with her lawyer that day. Half the night goes by, and Jane and I are dancing to a song when John suddenly appears and tries to drag her off. Jane says that she doesn't want to go, and he can't put his hands on her (he maintains that I was grabbing her ass, which is false, as my hands were on her hips, as you do when you dance). Then John gets mad and says to me that I'm not allowed to dance with his wife, and that he's calling the MPs. (Note this is a club off-post.) I tell him that that is fine, because A) we're offpost, and the MPs have no jurisdiction at this point, and B) tell whoever he likes, because I had not commited any kind of sexual intercourse with Jane. He then preceedes to tell me that his Sergeant Major told him that I could get into trouble if I had ANY KIND OF RELATIONSHIP with Jane, (which obviously includes friendship and dancing, I believe he thinks). At this point, the club's bouncers enter the area (because I am a regular, anytime anything happens around my area, they come to see what's going on), and he starts complaining to them. They escort him out of the club, and start pulling myself and Jane out as well. When we get to the door, John asks me what in the hell I thought I was doing, and I told him "Honestly, I'm told by several people that you beat your wife, and she doesn't feel safe around you right now when she's getting a divorce." At this, he flips out, and starts crying, and saying that Jane might as well have killed him, and immediately gets on the phone and starts talking to someone. Jane and I were told we were fine to go back in, and John would not be allowed into the club again. I let Jane back in to stay with Mary in the club, and go outside to talk with my NCO, who works part-time as security there, and was, luckily enough, on-duty that night about the issue. He says that as long as we didn't have intercourse, there should be no reason to worry. I then leave and head back to the barracks.

After pulling up, I get a call from Jane saying that her and Mary were at Mary's house as well, and that John had told her "Thanks for killing me" and tried to follow them most of the way to her house, and that he has been harassing Jane and Mary for awhile, through texts, and trying to call them both.

So, now, I am sitting in my barracks room, searching the internet, and trying to figure out the following:

A) Can I get into any kinds of trouble for "adultery" through UCMJ's 134? Maybe something MAY happen in the future, but definitly not until after she's fully legally divorced and in a relationship with me, if that may have it.

B) Is John correct in stating that I can get into trouble just for having a friendship, or dancing with, Jane? I wasn't told by ANYONE not to talk to, or contact her.

C) If the MPs show up, what am I supposed to tell them as to all of this?

D) Is there anything Jane can do via JAG or the MPs or John's CoC to get him to stop harassing them? I gave her the MP number and told her to call if he continues, but there's not really much that solves if they're off-post, or he doesn't have a direct order from anyone.

E) If my chain of command brings it up to me, what should I say to them?

Thank you in advance!

[Xeremeh]

John stopped by my room this morning, and basically told me that he was going to a meeting with his First Sergeant this morning to discuss Adultery, restraining orders, and whatnot, but then told me that A) he never hit his wife, B) she maybe has cheated on him before, and C) he'll leave me alone if we don't talk to eachother again.

Can he get a restraining/no-contact order for the above situations?

[SHORTY LONG]

What made John think you had sex with Jane?
Moreover, sounds as if you got yourself involved
in a huge can of worms; and the results at this
juncture do not look favorable. Would suggest,
that, you disengage any further contact, at least
until you are absolutely sure she is divorced!

Since he is still legally married, and you are in
the middle, then, he most likely can make your
life legally unpleasant for a time being. Which
surely in return you would not want!

[fozzy2]

Originally Posted by Xeremeh

What is the name of your state? TX

A) Can I get into any kinds of trouble for "adultery" through UCMJ's 134? Maybe something MAY happen in the future, but definitly not until after she's fully legally divorced and in a relationship with me, if that may have it.

B) Is John correct in stating that I can get into trouble just for having a friendship, or dancing with, Jane? I wasn't told by ANYONE not to talk to, or contact her.

C) If the MPs show up, what am I supposed to tell them as to all of this?

D) Is there anything Jane can do via JAG or the MPs or John's CoC to get him to stop harassing them? I gave her the MP number and told her to call if he continues, but there's not really much that solves if they're off-post, or he doesn't have a direct order from anyone.

E) If my chain of command brings it up to me, what should I say to them?

Thank you in advance!

A) You aren't guilty of adultery. However, to avoid any possibility of "misunderstanding"
I would advise against spending time alone with her. After all, once in a while an innocent person gets charged, and even just an investigation is probably more hassle than you want.

B) He is her husband, not her owner. Until someone in a position of authority gives you and order otherwise, you can see/talk to her just as you would anyone else.

C) Keep it simple. "They're getting a diviorce and he's going psycho" or whatever fits the situation. If the MP has more than 2 months experience, s/he has probably seen this all before. Many times.

D) Jane can file for an MPO (military protective order), as well as a civilian order.
see [url]http://www.dod.mil/fapmip/module3/mod3_17.htm[/url] for a quick overview.

E) Tell them you aren't doing adultery, that she is undergoing a divorce, and that her ex is doing whatever it is he is doing.

[badapple40]

Agreed with fozzy 100%. Let me add:

1. Have Jane get a MPO against him.

2. You should think about getting a MPO against him as well.

3. Make sure you tell the NCOs the truth/etc in written statements.

4. Witnesses when you two are together is a must.

5. And here is badapple40's piece of not-so-legal but common sence advice: until the MPO is issued against John, and until the divorce is granted or she becomes legally separated, and until this blows over a bit, why don't you do yourself and her a favor and stay away from her. This is a volatile situation. This guy is obviously off his rocker. I prosecuted, early in my military career, an assault with a deadly weapn/attempted murder case with shockingly similar facts. Husband was in the process of a divorce and was distraught, wife was spending time with another guy, questions about whether they were having sex, husband was despondent, ended up severely injuring and almost killing the other guy.

Whatever interest you have in Jane, be it romantic or otherwise, isn't worth the drama this is causing and the potential after affects. Let the situation cool down, get the MPOs in place, get her divorce moving, and stay away from her for the time being until this has a chance to cool. The psycho husband/ex-husbands are volatile.

[Xeremeh]

Having issues once more. Jane finally drew up her divorce papers, is getting them signed and returned now, and we've started speaking about dating (after the divorce is finalized). I've had no more contact with John, and i've been meeting Jane only in public places, with her friends and mine usually both there when we do hang out. However, when we were speaking on a MySpace Instant Messenger program today, we were discussing her divorce, me and my friends helping her move out, and she said that she wanted to pursue a relationship with me, and I said that I wanted to too whenever she got her divorce.

Well, John got ahold of this IM log somehow, and, came to the club where we were hanging out tonight, again, with our friends there, and just dropped the printout on the table, didn't say anything, and left. He then sent Jane's friend Mary a text-message saying that "I know about the divorce". Again, I haven't had intercourse with Jane, and I was following ya'lls recommendations on being around alot of people in public. Can he do anything with this log? Even if he wanted to, isn't there something to protect other people's IM conversations in a personal setting, not used on work computers and whatnot? Thanks in advance!

And, PS, she got the MPO against John, and he's been violating it. Tonight, approaching her, and other nights, calling her all the time and harassing her and her friends as well, are just examples. She says she calls his NCOs, but they don't do anything about it. I've experienced firsthand where most CoC's don't care about spouses as much as the soldiers, so I'm more leaning towards her story on that as well. Anyhow, thanks again for the help!