Husband not providing for our children

[shadoewolfie3]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Virginia

This question has a few parts, but a little background to the story.

I've been married to my husband for almost 10 years (in November). He cheated on me within the first year of our being married. I realize this is not an excuse, more just background information. I accepted the situation and we moved past it. He joined the Army in Jan of 06 and we have two minor children together. We relocated to Virginia in July of 06 and have resided here since. He got deployed in Sept of 06. I met someone in June of 07. I told my husband about the affair immediately and gave him the option of a divorce. He said no, we would figure it out when he got home. Two months later I got pregnant from the boyfriend. Again I offered the option of divorce and again he stated that we would figure it out when he got home.

The boyfriend and I split up shortly after he learned of my pregnancy and my husband accepted the baby as his own. However no degree of talking and such did any good. We decided it would be best for me to move out in November of this year to begin the 1 year seperation I believe is required by Virginia law for a divorce. (is this correct?) There is no formal seperation paperwork in place but we can prove we've been living seperately and most certainly not sleeping together! He began seeing and sleeping with a mutual friend of ours by Christmas. My son's paternity has been legally established and his father has re-entered the picture, however my son is still listed as a dependant with DEERS. Can he have my son removed from Tricare so long as we're still married?

Hubby was relocated to Texas in March of this year. We had the option to go but I elected to stay and keep my daughter in school rather then face another move. He was up for a visit this last week and some major fighting ensued. He wants to remain in Texas with his new girlfriend and has no problem with giving me full custody and only seeing our girls 1-2 times a year. Well after one nasty argument he decided today to remove all my access to our bank accounts, leaving me $17 to last until the 1st and no promise of any further financial support.

Am I entitled to BAH or child support based on the fact that I have care of the children? Spousal support? I wasn't sure with that one because I believe Virginia has something about condonement? And who would I go to in order to enforce whatever financial support my children may be entitled to?

I realize his cheating on me first isn't justification for what I've done. I take responsibility for my own actions in this and am fine with filing for divorce once the time frame allows. I am NOT okay with him making close to $3K a month and not supporting his biological children.

[ERAUPIKE]

Originally Posted by shadoewolfie3

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Virginia

This question has a few parts, but a little background to the story.

I've been married to my husband for almost 10 years (in November). He cheated on me within the first year of our being married. I realize this is not an excuse, more just background information. I accepted the situation and we moved past it. He joined the Army in Jan of 06 and we have two minor children together. We relocated to Virginia in July of 06 and have resided here since. He got deployed in Sept of 06. I met someone in June of 07. I told my husband about the affair immediately and gave him the option of a divorce. He said no, we would figure it out when he got home. Two months later I got pregnant from the boyfriend. Again I offered the option of divorce and again he stated that we would figure it out when he got home.

The boyfriend and I split up shortly after he learned of my pregnancy and my husband accepted the baby as his own. However no degree of talking and such did any good. We decided it would be best for me to move out in November of this year to begin the 1 year seperation I believe is required by Virginia law for a divorce. (is this correct?) There is no formal seperation paperwork in place but we can prove we've been living seperately and most certainly not sleeping together! He began seeing and sleeping with a mutual friend of ours by Christmas. My son's paternity has been legally established and his father has re-entered the picture, however my son is still listed as a dependant with DEERS. Can he have my son removed from Tricare so long as we're still married?

Hubby was relocated to Texas in March of this year. We had the option to go but I elected to stay and keep my daughter in school rather then face another move. He was up for a visit this last week and some major fighting ensued. He wants to remain in Texas with his new girlfriend and has no problem with giving me full custody and only seeing our girls 1-2 times a year. Well after one nasty argument he decided today to remove all my access to our bank accounts, leaving me $17 to last until the 1st and no promise of any further financial support.

Am I entitled to BAH or child support based on the fact that I have care of the children? Spousal support? I wasn't sure with that one because I believe Virginia has something about condonement? And who would I go to in order to enforce whatever financial support my children may be entitled to?

I realize his cheating on me first isn't justification for what I've done. I take responsibility for my own actions in this and am fine with filing for divorce once the time frame allows. I am NOT okay with him making close to $3K a month and not supporting his biological children.

He is required by military regulation to provide you support as long as you are married. During a legal separation you will be provided with a portion of his pay, can't remember the regulation off hand. I generally try a little harder but I don't really have much pity for you. Call your husbands command and let them know how he is neglecting his children.

[dad43]

here's what i found....and it is SO MUCH harder to find army regs, versus usn/usmc regs...
[url]http://www.ncbar.com/lamp/Guidelines05.pdf[/url]

this is a shortened version, the original is 43 pages long.....and the army states that if a dependent(s) live off post(us govt assigned housing), the family is entitled to the amount of "bah-with"(bah with dependents), regardless of wether that member receives bah or not...

see, the usn/usmc, actually has a table, broken down by the amount of dependents...as in, spouse only, spouse 1 child, spouse xyz children, 1 child only and so on...and it DOES include bah in the base pay...especially now, that servicemembers are entitled to bah-diff...

[shadoewolfie3]

I've had to get into contact with JAG in order to get the required payments to care for the kids. We're now arguing with DFAS over what region our BAH should be assigned to.

He says he's filing for divorce (more then okay with me!) but refuses to tell me which state he's filing in. He won't meet the residency requirement in Texas for another 10 days, and won't meet the 1 year seperation requirement in Virginia until March. He's also threatening to claim I am "at fault" due to my affair but I have proof he's also guilty of adultery. I believe too that Virginia has something about a "condonement clause" with their adultery statute?
He's currently dating and sleeping with someone in his unit (not sure which is higher ranked), would that qualify as fraternization?

Also, we have 2 cars. One is a compact and its with him in Texas. The title is in his name, but the loan is in both of our names. The second car is an SUV that is here with me in VA, titled in his name, the loan is in his name alone. How does property division work in Texas or Virginia? He's currently driving the compact 500 miles every weekend for his rendevous and it already has 40,000 miles on it. But the SUV is new and has less then 10,000 miles on it and I only drive the kids to school and to the grocery store. Are both vehicles going to have to be sold and the profits divided? He has no hesitation running our joint vehicle into the ground and then running off with the brand new SUV..I just don't want to get screwed with my car.

Any advice would be appreciated....

[ERAUPIKE]

Originally Posted by shadoewolfie3

I've had to get into contact with JAG in order to get the required payments to care for the kids. We're now arguing with DFAS over what region our BAH should be assigned to.

He says he's filing for divorce (more then okay with me!) but refuses to tell me which state he's filing in. He won't meet the residency requirement in Texas for another 10 days, and won't meet the 1 year seperation requirement in Virginia until March. He's also threatening to claim I am "at fault" due to my affair but I have proof he's also guilty of adultery. I believe too that Virginia has something about a "condonement clause" with their adultery statute?
He's currently dating and sleeping with someone in his unit (not sure which is higher ranked), would that qualify as fraternization?

Also, we have 2 cars. One is a compact and its with him in Texas. The title is in his name, but the loan is in both of our names. The second car is an SUV that is here with me in VA, titled in his name, the loan is in his name alone. How does property division work in Texas or Virginia? He's currently driving the compact 500 miles every weekend for his rendevous and it already has 40,000 miles on it. But the SUV is new and has less then 10,000 miles on it and I only drive the kids to school and to the grocery store. Are both vehicles going to have to be sold and the profits divided? He has no hesitation running our joint vehicle into the ground and then running off with the brand new SUV..I just don't want to get screwed with my car.

Any advice would be appreciated....

I see you are still very concerned about your kids. You want to move this topic to divorce law.