I am done...

[Kontan]

What is the name of your state? KY

I come to you guys because I don't know who to trust anymore.

I've served for two years in the navy. I know that's not a long time, but I've gotten an honorable discharge but I had to go into the reserves for 2 more years active and 4 more IRR.

I can't do it anymore. I've gone two years of being treated less than human. I really don't know how I managed to keep as much of my sanity as I have. Wait, yes I do. It was fear. Fear of the law.

The reserves is no different. Every night, I lose sleep due to nightmares of my time in active duty and my time I now face.

Not only that, but I'm getting conflicting opinions on how I am as a sailor. I've been told that the ones I work with think I'm the kind of guy that would get them killed in action. I agree with them. I'm a pacifist. This isn't the only time I've been told that I could get people killed in action. I was even told this in active duty.

But then there are some that are trying to keep me in because of my positive evals. I've NEVER caused trouble in the service but that's because I've kept my mouth shut. The last two years of my life have been the worst experiences I've ever faced. I can not even fathom a positive memory from it.

I've also been told that if I really didn't want to be in the service anymore, then to just not show up to drills. It's not like AWOL where it's more than 30 UAs. I only need to get 8 in which I can pull off in 2 months. I already have 1, which is oddly enough, my first time ever really getting any real trouble. Even then I didn't get NJP. My military record is in every way pristine.

That's what the military is telling me. Just don't show up and I'll get admin separated. My family is telling me that it's AWOL and that they think the cops are going to come to their place of residence looking for me. I don't know how true that is. I'm of the mind that what the reserves are telling me is true. I've heard of guys getting honorable discharges for far worse things than I plan on doing. Hell, I've seen it in action. My only saving grace is in my contract, but even then, I just want to make sure they don't pull the rug out from under me.


Paragraph 5. of my contract states:

I must maintain satisfactory drill participation and annual training requirements as outlined in the National Call to Service Statement of Understanding. Should I fail to do so, I wll be processed for Administrative Separation and/or placed in the Individual Ready Reserves (IRR) due to Unsatisfactory Performance, not recommended for re-affiliation/ reenlistment.

I'm to the point that it's not about the money. It's not about the bonus, it's not about the benefits. I want nothing to do with it anymore. I'm tired of being afraid. I'm tired of having nightmares EVERY NIGHT. I'm tired of the panic attacks that nearly induce vomiting. I'm tired. They can have it all back.

I'm willing to take other than honorable discharges.

I've tried talking to them. They don't want to help me, they want to help the service keep a warm body.

I can't do this anymore. I just want to know what to expect. If it's all a thing of admin sep and no harassment to my family, I'll take it.

Thank you for what ever help you can give me...

[SHORTY LONG]

Sailor, why not start going to sickbay instead of messing up
your pristine record any further. And never believe anything
you hear about ..... being discharged Honorably for going
ua/awol!

[Kontan]

There's more to it than that.

1. They don't have any of my records. Nothing, not even my medical record.
2. I actually had to go to a MEPS to make a NEW medical record because they navy lost my stuff
3. The only person that wants to help is a Nurse at the station who says that I need to seek therapy.
4. She can't help me because... they have none of my records.

All they have and all they know is that I'm SUPPOSED to be there. The last time I tried going to a doctor to see about any sort of mental problems, they doped me up on meds which is depressing in its own right.

Also, they're going to want to help me in a way that benefits the Navy. So I take it that if I seek help, they'll just try to fix me in such a way to where it's okay for me to be in the service. This is not something where I want it to be okay with me.

Like I've said, I want nothing the Navy can offer me. Even now, after trying to contact some people just a day ago, I don't know who to trust. The ones telling me to UA out are my LEADERS, not some silly e-3 who thinks he knows his stuff. This is coming from first class petty officers who are not only that, but master at arms as well.

I've tried filing as a conscientious objector. Instead of my leaders trying to point me in the right direction for that, they try to curb me away from it. I suppose I can try that... again.

I've been reading on these boards about using your homosexuality to get out. I would tell them and offer them proof of that because I am bisexual. But to me, it doesn't sound right to get out on terms of my homosexuality when there are so many that WANT to serve.

I'm at my wits end. The whole time I've been in, they've only ever given me enough information about things to keep me scared and confused.

I really don't know what to do with myself...

[SHORTY LONG]

You have thus far been able to hack at least two years, and
if at all, try your best to hang tough until you can get a good
and positive resolution, that you will not regret down the
road! Have you contacted the GI Hotline? If not, here is
the number: 1-800-394-9544 Hopefully, they may have
some sound advice. Yes, it is true about the "don't ask
don't tell policy if you so choose to use it!

[Shay-Pari'e]

[quote=SHORTY LONG;1615182]Sailor, why not start going to sickbay instead of messing up
your pristine record any further. And never believe anything
you hear about ..... being discharged Honorably for going
ua/awol!

Shorty, keep working on this guy. I personially don't understand the trama this guy has. He clearly does not have PTSD, and even the people on his ship thought he was troubled and could not trust him.

[Kontan]

Thank you for giving me the number.

Yes, there is something wrong but I don't know what it would be. I've actually never been on a ship. They sent me to an overseas sea duty. But it was on land the whole time.

Some people I know say that it's a bad case of social anxiety. I don't know how true that is. I haven't seen a doctor and I don't know where I can go to see one that wouldn't break my bank if you will.

[SHORTY LONG]

Thank you Shay-Pari'e; I agree with you, and will try my best.
As you know, sometimes truth falls on deaf ears. Hope your
having fun with your new four wheel toy.

Kontan, i do hope you call that number; and no matter
where you are at in active Military Status, there is always
a Corpsman, Medic, etc. no one is going to hold your hand
to go to them. You, and you alone must take the bull by the
horn and pursue in going to the Doc. Hell, if you want out
that bad, and want to go to a Private Physician, somehow,
someway you will find the funds, but, his or her opinion
will not guarantee your discharge; only will help if they
find you are unhealthy etc., in their diagnosis! Also, you
can file a "FOIA" for your lost medical records. Do a
search on the Freedom of Information Act for more
information. This is filed in the closest Federal Court.
But first, exhaust your administrative remedies for these
lost medical records. That way, you have more ammo
to help your request, and support in your Federal Court
proceedings.

[Kontan]

Thank you, Shorty.

[Kontan]

Well, spilling my guts about how I feel and offering the navy back my enlistment bonus seems to be working out.

My chief is looking into what I can do in regards of getting me out instead of trying to keep me now.

Thanks for the suggestions, folks.

I suppose that honesty is one of the best policies more than not.