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Military ID card Issue

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kilo6789

Junior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? washington

OK, I post a thread and talked about Mil Id cards situation with a child I have paternity established with and was unclear. I am going to explian again so I can get a better response.

Bottom line up front, I have been paying child support for a child for 18 years. I was complete with all payments and monies owed in 2010. I no longer provide the chiled with any financial stability, he does not live with me and never has. I have never claimed him on anything, nor have I ever ahd any contact with the child nor do I know any addresses and never had a phone number to conatact him. I have always believed he was not my child, but do the fact I was only 17 years old when I started paying child support and wanted to do the right thing by her and the child, I signed the affidavit for paternity and whoooop, there it is, I have been paying for a child I never even knew. But the meat of the story is this, she had never put my name on the birth certificate until 2008 when she tried to ask for more money, two years went by and I did not hear anything from her again until last month as she is now trying to get a military Id card. I refuse to because even though I know he is eligible to receive one, I dont think it is morally right. Am I requred to give her an ID card?
 


Proserpina

Senior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? washington

OK, I post a thread and talked about Mil Id cards situation with a child I have paternity established with and was unclear. I am going to explian again so I can get a better response.

Bottom line up front, I have been paying child support for a child for 18 years. I was complete with all payments and monies owed in 2010. I no longer provide the chiled with any financial stability, he does not live with me and never has. I have never claimed him on anything, nor have I ever ahd any contact with the child nor do I know any addresses and never had a phone number to conatact him. I have always believed he was not my child, but do the fact I was only 17 years old when I started paying child support and wanted to do the right thing by her and the child, I signed the affidavit for paternity and whoooop, there it is, I have been paying for a child I never even knew. But the meat of the story is this, she had never put my name on the birth certificate until 2008 when she tried to ask for more money, two years went by and I did not hear anything from her again until last month as she is now trying to get a military Id card. I refuse to because even though I know he is eligible to receive one, I dont think it is morally right. Am I requred to give her an ID card?


Explain again please why your legally eligible child shouldn't have a military ID card?


:confused:
 

kilo6789

Junior Member
Explain again please why your legally eligible child shouldn't have a military ID card?


:confused:
ok, I know what it might look like, but I have been willing and pushing and striving to want to be in this child's life from the beginning, but kept getting resistance from the vindictive mother. I have even tried to communicate with him on several occassion but because of her influence could not get through. he found me on face book and ask can he have an ID card to get into college, which I explianed to him does not really help you get into college. I originally said yes and ask to email birth certificate with my name on it (becaue it was never on it at first) to enroll and that was problem which never transpired and ended up in telling me my name was on it. I said well I need to see it if it is and if not you have to put my name on it to recieve the benefits, that never happen. again I dont know this kid and the mother never mad any intentions on allowing me to see him so, I came up to the conclusion that maybe he was not mind. But to nmake a long story short. the child has never reside with me I dont pay at least 51% of support for him and he was never on my deers from the begining. How is it possible for someone to come back a just say "I want an ID card" after all these years, regardless of eligible or not. I will have no control over the situation compared to if he was living with me. I dont know what charges they could be occuring and if they are followign procedures or not , because it could leave up to racks and racks of bills. You see, I guess I was not good enough to be the father I wanted to be in his life, but I am good for a few bennefits here or there whenever they want them
 

Zigner

Senior Member, Non-Attorney
I'd like an explanation as to why, legally speaking, one would feel that he is required to provide it.

Morally? Sure, I agree with ya Pro - but from the basic legal standpoint, there is nothing that can force him to provide it.
 

LdiJ

Senior Member
I'd like an explanation as to why, legally speaking, one would feel that he is required to provide it.

Morally? Sure, I agree with ya Pro - but from the basic legal standpoint, there is nothing that can force him to provide it.
I know of several cases where the custodial parent went right around the military member and got the ID card for the child. So I know that's possible. However, I don't recall any of those being for children that were already 18, so I don't know if that makes a difference.
 

LillianX

Senior Member
ok, I know what it might look like, but I have been willing and pushing and striving to want to be in this child's life from the beginning, but kept getting resistance from the vindictive mother. I have even tried to communicate with him on several occassion but because of her influence could not get through.
Why didn't you go to court to request visitation? It doesn't sound like you were willing, pushing or striving at all. Now you're unwilling to give the kid access to benefits, and that's certainly your right, bit it's a bit of a stretch to say that you've been "willing and pushing and striving" to be in his life when that's really not true at all. You can't behave like a paycheck and then be shocked when you get treated as such.
 

Zigner

Senior Member, Non-Attorney
Why didn't you go to court to request visitation? It doesn't sound like you were willing, pushing or striving at all. Now you're unwilling to give the kid access to benefits, and that's certainly your right, bit it's a bit of a stretch to say that you've been "willing and pushing and striving" to be in his life when that's really not true at all. You can't behave like a paycheck and then be shocked when you get treated as such.
I'll cut you some slack on this one. The OP's prior thread gave MUCH more in the way of description. Up to you if you want to read it or now ;)
 

OHRoadwarrior

Senior Member
Use your own morality. Everyone trying to justify otherwise is setting a higher standard for you. Some people believe they should kick their kid out of the nest at 18, which is perfectly legal to do. Why should you be held to a higher standard for making your own moral judgement. If you are that torn up about whether to do it or not, I suggest you have the boy cooperate in establishing true paternity once and for all. If he wants the benefits, he should be willing to do so.
 

Proserpina

Senior Member
Use your own morality. Everyone trying to justify otherwise is setting a higher standard for you. Some people believe they should kick their kid out of the nest at 18, which is perfectly legal to do. Why should you be held to a higher standard for making your own moral judgement. If you are that torn up about whether to do it or not, I suggest you have the boy cooperate in establishing true paternity once and for all. If he wants the benefits, he should be willing to do so.


What are you talking about?

Paternity is already legally established....
 

kilo6789

Junior Member
Why didn't you go to court to request visitation? It doesn't sound like you were willing, pushing or striving at all. Now you're unwilling to give the kid access to benefits, and that's certainly your right, bit it's a bit of a stretch to say that you've been "willing and pushing and striving" to be in his life when that's really not true at all. You can't behave like a paycheck and then be shocked when you get treated as such.
First of all out of respect I have been trying. in the past but becasue it was a court matter before I went into the military they would not touch the situation. Second do you know how hard it is to try an establish paternity for a child who parent is in the military back then always deployed, always in the field, and always gone on some type of mission. So I waited till I had done 6 years and got out of the military, took her to court to reestablish paternity because I knew at that point he was not mine. Also, I had been texting him backand fourth trying to start up a relationship and it was going good until he asked me for the ID card to go to school. I replied that I agreed and told him to send me a copy of the birth records with my name on it and I will submit to DEERS. Well he and the mother try and make me look like a fool saying my name was on the BC all along. but when I call vital statistics they stated that my name was never on there and got amended to be put on there in 2008 which was the time they wanted something from me. Whats so funnny is that they waited another 2 and 6 months to call my unit and tell them I did not want to cooperate; which is BS. Now you see, I am tired and cant see how this is right, regardless of what every one thinks, I am not a dead beat father, just one that got shafted. and no i am not nieve to the fact that it happend, just could not do anything about it. and here we are again, like I said dont look at the top layer and judge me, there is alot more lies and deciet in this story. soory for spelling!
 

Shadowbunny

Queen of the Not-Rights
Why not do a paternity test (which you may very well need in order to get him enrolled in DEERS)?

If you're the father, how would it negatively affect you to get him enrolled and an ID card?
 

TigerD

Senior Member
Legally, he is OP dependent.
As such, the OP should have been collecting pay from the government for that. The child is entitled to use military facilities, commissary, PX and, with the change to the health law, he might be able to use dependent health care for another five years.

All that has value. And as your legal dependent, he has a right to it.

DC
 

OHRoadwarrior

Senior Member
I think OP has the right to decide how far he chooses to get involved. He has been bullied for last 18 years and should feel no qualms about drawing the line.
 

Proserpina

Senior Member
Why not do a paternity test (which you may very well need in order to get him enrolled in DEERS)?

If you're the father, how would it negatively affect you to get him enrolled and an ID card?


Because paternity has already been established legally and at this point biology doesn't matter?
 

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