My son in-law is a deserter

[Raine19]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? PA. He's stationed in Fort Drum.
My daughter & son in law had a child 5 months after he joined the service. She has terminally ill cancer. he's tried everything to get transferred or what ever, but, his commander said NO! Now, he's a deserter. He called an AWOL attorney but they said he must go back. He's going back this week. What happens now? Also, his wife, my daughter, is now pregnant with twins.

[Raine19]

Really happy with all the replys THANkS

[cyjeff]

We are all volunteers here with day jobs.

if you want someone to instantly answer your question, you get to pay for it... in 6 minute increments.

The good news? I think they stopped shooting deserters.

The bad news? Your son in law needs to get used to the idea that jail time may be in his future.

AWOL... depending on the circumstances, is right up there on the military "don't do this" list of rules and regulations.

[divona2000]

Exactly how many replies did you expect in the 44 minutes since you posted?

[Raine19]

I'm really sorry. I am just so worried about what's going to happen. He's hoping to be released from the Military. I told him to "think again." I understand they have a terminally ill child, but he's only 6 hours away. It's not like he's in Iraq or anything. I think this was a foolish move on his part and I told him so.
Thanks everyone for understanding my upset!

[candg918]

One of the best places he can be with a very ill family member is the military because of the health benefits.

[Peligroso27]

He is going to be processed out of the military, lose all his benefits and work at dead end jobs trying to make it paycheck to paycheck the rest of his life. This is the best case scenario. Whatever the reasoning for going AWOL, there is always another way. He did not make a rational decision with the greatest benefits for his family in mind, he did what was best for himself. Sorry to hear about the poor health of his child but there are many alternatives to going AWOL he could have pursued. Why couldn't his wife move to where he was stationed? It amazes me that people post they went AWOL because an institution like the Army wouldn't bend over backwards to meet their every demand. The Army surely has programs that would have benefited him and his family much more than his simple presence ever could have. I am familiar with the Navy's EFM program and I am sure the Army must have something like this. Maybe someone else knows better than I do. That is a moot point now. From this point on, when your daughter calls complaining about how bad her life is, you can tell her who to blame.

[mlane58]

Originally Posted by Peligroso27

He is going to be processed out of the military, lose all his benefits and work at dead end jobs trying to make it paycheck to paycheck the rest of his life.

That isn't true. 98% of employers don't even request a DD form 214 or inquire to one's military service anymore.

[Peligroso27]

Originally Posted by mlane58

That isn't true. 98% of employers don't even request a DD form 214 or inquire to one's military service anymore.

Can you prove that you have spoken with 98% of employers? I didn't think so. A BCD shows up on a background check and is the equivalent of a felony. This boy could possibly lose some of his civil rights as well. You should be more careful as a senior member about what you say. Look at the posts that have seen the debate of whether or not this is true. How many of the OP's have returned to say t was not true? Zero. I am not interested in your opinion, just the facts. As much as I would like to stroke this poor womens ego and tell her it is going to be alright. The fact remains it is more likely that it will not be. Studies show that a majority of individuals who fail to adapt to military life, fail miserably in the civilian world as well. Your daughter is just getting a glimpse of the plethora of failures and excuses she can expect the rest of her marriage.

[mlane58]

Originally Posted by Peligroso27

Can you prove that you have spoken with 98% of employers? I didn't think so. A BCD shows up on a background check and is the equivalent of a felony. This boy could possibly lose some of his civil rights as well. You should be more careful as a senior member about what you say. Look at the posts that have seen the debate of whether or not this is true. How many of the OP's have returned to say t was not true? Zero. I am not interested in your opinion, just the facts. As much as I would like to stroke this poor womens ego and tell her it is going to be alright. The fact remains it is more likely that it will not be. Studies show that a majority of individuals who fail to adapt to military life, fail miserably in the civilian world as well. Your daughter is just getting a glimpse of the plethora of failures and excuses she can expect the rest of her marriage.

First off, teeling the OP that their hubby will get a BCD is out line and a BCD can only be given through a court martial and it is very unlikely that they will go to a court martial. Well, lets see, I am retired military with 15 years in Recruiting Service and over 20as an HR professional and in all my dealings through networking with other HR professionals, recuiters and company executives accross the country for 20 years, I would say I am extremely confident as to my answer. Your so called study of people failing in the military will fail in life is BS, not saying it doesn't, but no where near the extent you are claiming. Also a BCD will rarelyshow up on a background check uinless that background check is for a federal job or a job that requires any sort of a government clearance, so you might want to get your facts straight. And who the hell are you to tell me that I should watch what I say? My answer is based off stats and many years of experience, what are yours? What an arrogant POS.

[Raine19]

The reason my daughter and granddaughter didn't go where he was is because the Chaplin and her doctor here advised against it. She has one of the best doctors in the U.S. and my granddaughter can be in emergency within 10 minutes. We were informed that the closest hospital there were not qualified to take care of my granddaughter. The Army told my son in law they would get BAH for my daughter to stay here. Nothing ever happened. i personnally think he's using my granddaughter as a way of getting out of something he just doesn't want to do. I told him it's not like McDonalds, you can't just quit. He's going back this weekend, we'll see what happens.

[Peligroso27]

Originally Posted by mlane58

First off, teeling the OP that their hubby will get a BCD is out line and a BCD can only be given through a court martial and it is very unlikely that they will go to a court martial. Well, lets see, I am retired military with 15 years in Recruiting Service and over 20as an HR professional and in all my dealings through networking with other HR professionals, recuiters and company executives accross the country for 20 years, I would say I am extremely confident as to my answer. Your so called study of people failing in the military will fail in life is BS, not saying it doesn't, but no where near the extent you are claiming. Also a BCD will rarelyshow up on a background check uinless that background check is for a federal job or a job that requires any sort of a government clearance, so you might want to get your facts straight. And who the hell are you to tell me that I should watch what I say? My answer is based off stats and many years of experience, what are yours? What an arrogant POS.

It is very possible to get a BCD. I had this same debate with ElvisG. Even with your 55 years of combined experience the fact remains that you cannot support your statement that 98% of employers will ask for a DD-214 or that this boy will not receive a special court martial. Who am I to tell you what to do? The guy that is not afraid to tell the truth. You might want to get your facts straight and watch the harassing language in your posts. You may want to reveiw the terms of use one more time to refamiliarize yourself. You also need to reveiw the effects that a BCD will have on an individual and there history. You are wrong.

OP, I am glad your son in law is going back and I encourage you to help him make the right choices to avoid the situations I explained to you. Be assured this will only be the beginning of many disappointments in store for your daughter if left unchecked. Best of luck.

[Dude]

Originally Posted by Peligroso27

He is going to be processed out of the military, lose all his benefits and work at dead end jobs trying to make it paycheck to paycheck the rest of his life.

I love how people make it sound like once you get a BCD your life is over.

Raine19, your son in-law might do some jail time. Depending on how long he was gone he will get a couple of months. He might even get a OTH based off of his childs condition. It all comes down to the judge and how he is feeling that day.

If your son in-law really cares about his family and his children he still has plenty of options to choose from. His best bet, based off of my own experience would be to join up with the Forest Service as a Federal Wildland FireFighter. Its probably the hardest work he will ever do. They hire felons so they wil hire him. They take care of your family. dont listen to half of these people on here he still has a life and has some options to choose from.

[Peligroso27]

"I love how people make it sound like once you get a BCD your life is over."
I am only one person, generalizations make you sound uneducated. I never stated his life was over, I stated his chances of ever being a truly productive member of society are slim to none. I don't need to debate this again and I won't.

[Raine19]

I'm really confused now. What's a BCD? I guess the answer to what is going to happen to him would be left to his commander. Some of you say he's going to jail, not going to jail, in big trouble, not in big trouble. Oh the confusion. I guess I'll have to see what ends up happening. Because my own son is in Iraq on his 2nd tour, I think they should shoot him. Just my opinion. My daughter is getting nothing from him but empty promises. I'm SO sick of this. I'm about ready to call the cops myself and tell them where he is. But, I'm not that nasty. For those of you who HAVE been in the Military you have my UTMOST respect. Thank you for fighting for my freedom. You will never understand how much America truly respects all of you.
God Bless