NEW sailor

[m3t30rA]

I have currently been in the NAVY for only 5months. I can hardly call myself a "sailor" since I have yet to even be on a ship. Currently I truthfully don't know if I can fulfill my 6year active duty enlistment because of my feelings about being here. I understand I have yet to even get to taste the NAVY and all its worth but I do feel myself already thinking about things I shouldn't. I'm in A-school and I constantly feel like I'm treated like an inmate. I'd like to say I'm depressed if not severely depressed. All I would like to know is should I expect to feel like this my entire career? Am I just feeling sorry for myself? Should I seek help, if so from who? If I do talk to anyone in the NAVY about my situation is it going to harm my possible career choices.

I feel like I'm trapped, I wish not to receive hell for this post, only suggestions and advice.

Any response will help, Thank you.

[cyjeff]

Originally Posted by m3t30rA

I have currently been in the NAVY for only 5months. I can hardly call myself a "sailor" since I have yet to even be on a ship. Currently I truthfully don't know if I can fulfill my 6year active duty enlistment because of my feelings about being here. I understand I have yet to even get to taste the NAVY and all its worth but I do feel myself already thinking about things I shouldn't. I'm in A-school and I constantly feel like I'm treated like an inmate. I'd like to say I'm depressed if not severely depressed. All I would like to know is should I expect to feel like this my entire career? Am I just feeling sorry for myself? Should I seek help, if so from who? If I do talk to anyone in the NAVY about my situation is it going to harm my possible career choices.

I feel like I'm trapped, I wish not to receive hell for this post, only suggestions and advice.

Any response will help, Thank you.

When you first put on your uniform, the difference between a "snotty" and an inmate is really difficult to access.

The constant tracking of your time. The nonstop smell of other men in all stages of hygiene. The constant barking of someone telling you to do something and realizing you probably won't do it very well and will hear more barking.

The first year is the hardest... because it is designed to make the weak quit. Another way to look at it is the more you sweat in training means the less you will bleed in combat.

Look at that uniform. Think of the men and women that have worn it before you. Feel the fabric and touch the history that your blood, muscle, bone and will are now a part of. Realize that you are now an official member of a club that isn't sure it wants you... but will welcome you with open arms and defend you against all others if you show you have the mettle to succeed.

Every snotty feels the same. So much to learn, so much to do. Never enough hours in the day or days in the week. Repetition until you do things without thought. Traditions that seem hopelessly outdated and ridiculous.

Look at where you have already come. Think of that stupid kid that walked onto base thinking he could do it all... and already saw himself as the next Farragut, Nimitz or Monsoor.

Who is Mike Monsoor? A Navy SEAL, PO SC Monsoor is a Congressional Medal of Honor recipient in Enduring Freedom. He threw his body on top of a grenade that would have killed his entire unit.

But let me tell you a little something about the service you are in. The family you have joined.

From NAVYSEALS.com

During Mike Monsoor's funeral in San Diego, as his coffin was being moved from the hearse to the grave site at Ft. Rosecrans National Cemetery, SEALs were lined up on both sides of the pallbearers route forming a column of two's, with the coffin moving up the center. As Mike's coffin passed, each SEAL, having removed his gold Trident from his uniform, slapped it down embedding the Trident in the wooden coffin. The slaps were audible from across the cemetery; by the time the coffin arrived grave side, it looked as though it had a gold inlay from all the Tridents pinned to it. This was a fitting send-off for a warrior hero.

SEALS came from all over the country to honor their own. With their own hands, they imbedded their insignia on the casket as they went by.

Your life is joined with the bravest and the proud. Those that may bleed but never run. Those that understand that they are all that stands between those they love and those that will gladly do them harm.

Of course it is hard. You are joining a fraternity that less than 3% of the population can claim participation. You have joined a living breathing being much larger than you, but only as strong, committed and brave as you are.

Joining isn't easy... but quitting will haunt you the rest of your life. Talk to the chaplain... he/she is there to help you with this time.

You will make it. If you weren't going to, you wouldn't be asking this question... you would have already quit.

Trust yourself to be worthy of the uniform as it will be worthy of you.

Thank you for your service. Happy Thanksgiving... and know that one of the things all of us are thankful for is YOU.

[cyjeff]

Before you quit... watch this...

[url=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CfK2BQCIIes&NR=1]YouTube - Rare Mikey Monsoor memorial footage[/url]

Know that you are the best and brightest this country has. You are being tempered to pass on the traditions made before you to those that will come after you.

It is a heavy mantle... but one that comes easier to bear with every day until that day you wake up and realize that carrying didn't weigh you down, but made you stronger than anyone could ever imagine.

[m3t30rA]

Thank you very much for such a response with so much haste. I understand and appreciate all my brothers around me. Though my depression is more so from being so distant from my close family that I've worked so hard to construct. (Yes I've heard of M. Monsoor, my grandpa was a CWO2 so I used to hear many a NAVY update.)

The problem with me isn't the lack of being appreciated, it's being absent from my loved ones, feeling like I'm constantly wasting time, having my family fall apart, not being able to let people depend on me. I just honestly don't think this honorable group of heroes is the one for me.

I came into the Navy for schooling alone.... I was not able to find a way to go to college and support myself. I thought that was a good enough reason to be in the navy but I have come to find out it's not or seems like it's not. I feel like there is a better way to accomplish the goals I've set out to reach.

I will take your advice and talk to a Chaplin, also when I go home(which is somewhere I wish I could call the place I used to live) I will talk with my family and fiance.

Once again thank you very much, and I appreciate everything you reply with.

[cyjeff]

Ask yourself this...

How will quitting prove to people that they can depend on you?

I tell you what. Give it another 6 months. Get through the holidays... which are the hardest time to be separated from friends and family.

Write back and let us know what you decide.

Take it from someone that spent way too many holidays way too far away. It never gets easier... but becomes a sacrifice you pay to keep them safe and your country strong.

A call home can be a precious thing. A new letter gets read a dozen times. A new picture gets worn out from touching the face upon it.

But give it 6 more months before you toss away everything you have already accomplished.

[m3t30rA]

If I gave it 6months and I separate I feel like it would be an automatic dishonorable/general discharge. Which I really wouldn't want in the least. That's another reason why I feel trapped.

I will definitely give it 6more months but a question I have is, after 6months what would be the *PROCESS* of leaving?.... I wouldn't think it to be easy, nothing ever is here (that's why we're the worlds best).

[cyjeff]

Originally Posted by m3t30rA

If I gave it 6months and I separate I feel like it would be an automatic dishonorable/general discharge. Which I really wouldn't want in the least. That's another reason why I feel trapped.

I will definitely give it 6more months but a question I have is, after 6months what would be the promise of leaving?.... I wouldn't think it to be easy, nothing ever is here (that's why we're the worlds best).

You did sign a commitment. Those are taken seriously by the military in particular and the business world in general.

Talk to the chaplain. I promise that will help more than you know. You would not be the first serviceman or woman that looked down the road and only saw more darkness.

When the true nature of your enlistment really hits you, it seems like you are going to be pushing a large rock up a steep hill. It will get better.

You are not a screw up because you are wondering if this is the right decision for you. Heck, Lt. George Washington almost quit after his first major screw up.... and it was a beauty. He thought seriously about returning to the farm and the young wife he loved and being a gentleman farmer... a rich one at that.

If you didn't wonder if you were worthy of the uniform, you woudn't be worthy of the uniform. It comes with the territory.

I am not going to pretend I hope you don't stay in. All soldiers and sailors feel depression from time to time. Kinda goes with the job description. However, embrace that which brought you here.

[m3t30rA]

I am not going to pretend I hope you don't stay in. All soldiers and sailors feel depression from time to time. Kinda goes with the job description. However, embrace that which brought you here.

Can I ask you to elaborate on that please?

[cyjeff]

Originally Posted by m3t30rA

Can I ask you to elaborate on that please?

Sure.

Depression over the separation between soldiers, sailors and the ones they love is a thread that goes back to the first organized military branch.

The Iliad and the Odyssey are all about the Trojan war and Ulysses struggle to return home to the family he loved. Heck, rent "Gladiator".

Doesn't mean it doesn't hurt. Doesn't mean it isn't valid. Just means it is part of the job.

That whole "going off to war" thing sounds a heck of a lot more romantic when it isn't YOU leaving.

so you focus on why you joined in the first place. You said school, but there was more than that....

The respect, the authority, the band of brothers... you may have joined the military to get some tuition cash, but was that really the only reason?

The best soldiers and sailors are not the coldest men and women that don't care about people back home. The best soldiers and sailors are those that love their families and friends and don't trust anyone else to guarantee their safety.

The best soldiers and sailors know that they have to sacrifice so that their family never will. They give because that is what strong men and women do to protect those that cannot protect themselves.

A strong man protects himself. A stronger man protects others. Are you a stronger man?

[Peligroso27]

You have passed the point of realizing that you have made a mistake in our enlistment. The only real advice I could give you is to toughen up and be an adult. You are simply homesick, but the decision you make after this point will reward or haunt you for the rest of your life.

[CypressRyan]

If you really want out you still can.. it takes time and a serious dedication to your own cause as noone is likely to help you at all. I got out last year after serving only 8 months. You can check my posts and see the details if you like, but do not be dicouraged by all the nay-sayers on this forum. If you really want out or anything else for that matter you must pursue it until you get what you're after.

[cyjeff]

Originally Posted by CypressRyan

If you really want out you still can.. it takes time and a serious dedication to your own cause as noone is likely to help you at all. I got out last year after serving only 8 months. You can check my posts and see the details if you like, but do not be dicouraged by all the nay-sayers on this forum. If you really want out or anything else for that matter you must pursue it until you get what you're after.

I take personal offense at that statement.

At no time did I say that he couldn't leave the service. I am not a nay sayer of any type. I merely pointed out that such feelings are normal and real. Any decision that will effect the rest of your life should be reviewed from all sides.

Thank you for you service... no matter how brief.

[j991]

I agree that it is best for your future to continue your service. Join any organizations on base that help put trips, picnics, etc for sailors with no family around. Lean on your buddies. I have more family from my time in the Corps than I have actual family members. The first year is hard, as is being in A-school. Remember these two things: A veteran is someone who at one time his or her life wrote a blank check to the United States of America for the amount "up to and including life." If you fullfil your committment in the Navy, then no matter what you do in life you don't owe anything to anybody.

If you are feeling depressed and if you've tried getting out and it still does not help then you need to seek a mental health professional. Despression can be treated with medication, and counseling. It does not have to be an end to your career. Talk with someone who is a reliable professional in that department.

If you still seek discharge based on your despression it is a long process. You'll have to go to counseling, and be recommended not fit for duty based on depressed mental statuts. Then you can process out on a general - under honorable condition discharge at best. You will forfeit most veteran benifits and you will have to explain to future employers why you left the service without completion. It's a hard road to follow. I do not personally hire anyone who left the service on anything but an honorable discharge.