Seeking help for an aquaintence

[new2this05]

Ok, I have read some really good advice on here and thought I would try to gain some for someone else.

Her situation: She is pregnant in the military and has 2 kids from previous marriage that their father has residential custody over and she pays child support to. She rarely goes to see them. Not the best parent...I know. She is now about 7 months pregnant with a higher ranking soldier who is deployed until September. He had a voluntary allotment set up for her but has since decided he doesn't want to be a part of raising the baby. Nothing was handled in court before he left. She just found out this payday that he has stopped the allotment. She is contemplating giving up her rights to the other 2 or giving this baby up for adoption. She is mad that she only has a couple of hundred dollars after child support is taken. If she gives the baby up for adoption she will lose her on post housing and have to go back to the barracks correct? Since that is where she was before she got pregnant. Will she also lose her 6 weeks of maternity leave? I know this is a bad situation, that is why I wouldn't call her a friend but an aquaintence.

Even if she gives up the baby she will still be mad that she is broke after child support is taken out. So, what is the process she should take if she wants to give up her rights to the 2 older kids or put the baby up for adoption? Also, back to the barracks right? And no leave? Or being excused for deployment? She got pregnant about 3 weeks before her unit deployed to Iraq. They will be there until November and will this mean she will most likely have to deploy if she gives the baby up? Thank you.

Originally Posted by new2this05

Ok, I have read some really good advice on here and thought I would try to gain some for someone else.

Her situation: She is pregnant in the military and has 2 kids from previous marriage that their father has residential custody over and she pays child support to. She rarely goes to see them. Not the best parent...I know. She is now about 7 months pregnant with a higher ranking soldier who is deployed until September. He had a voluntary allotment set up for her but has since decided he doesn't want to be a part of raising the baby. Nothing was handled in court before he left. She just found out this payday that he has stopped the allotment. She is contemplating giving up her rights to the other 2 or giving this baby up for adoption. She is mad that she only has a couple of hundred dollars after child support is taken. If she gives the baby up for adoption she will lose her on post housing and have to go back to the barracks correct? Since that is where she was before she got pregnant. Will she also lose her 6 weeks of maternity leave? I know this is a bad situation, that is why I wouldn't call her a friend but an aquaintence.

Even if she gives up the baby she will still be mad that she is broke after child support is taken out. So, what is the process she should take if she wants to give up her rights to the 2 older kids or put the baby up for adoption? Also, back to the barracks right? And no leave? Or being excused for deployment? She got pregnant about 3 weeks before her unit deployed to Iraq. They will be there until November and will this mean she will most likely have to deploy if she gives the baby up? Thank you.

Even if she gives up her rights to the other two kids that is not gonna get her out of child support. Just because you say "I don't want the kids no more" doesn't mean you get to stop paying for them but that is a child support issue. You can get more answers to that one on one of the other forums on this site.

As far as her giving the baby she has in her up for adoption thats fine and dandy, but if she wants to stay in the military then yes she will have to go back to the barracks if there is no need for her to be a "brown bagger" and yes she might just get deployed. Thats what they do so I hear these days. I don't mean that like right now get an m16 and when you get done having the baby in the desert you need to roll over and get back to work

I don't see why she wouldn't get the maternity leave to have the baby and give it up for adoption, but I could be very wrong about that. Calling Badapple

[marine]

1.I just heard a high ranking career end.



2.Is this the Capt Kane incident?
a.Speaking of JAGs, Capt Kane is the Marine JAG who allegedly had an affair with a Cpl who came to him for advice on divorce.
b.Speaking of the USMC, she is not being charged at all!

3. Termination of Parental rights is nearly impossible in TX. Its ironic but if a guy ask for that, they fall over themselves to force visitation on them. It’s a tactic that unfortunately works to increase vistiation and lower supprt—albeit with high risk!!! . Let the state take the kids. That’s the other way.

[badapple40]

Originally Posted by new2this05

Ok, I have read some really good advice on here and thought I would try to gain some for someone else.

Her situation: She is pregnant in the military and has 2 kids from previous marriage that their father has residential custody over and she pays child support to. She rarely goes to see them. Not the best parent...I know. She is now about 7 months pregnant with a higher ranking soldier who is deployed until September. He had a voluntary allotment set up for her but has since decided he doesn't want to be a part of raising the baby. Nothing was handled in court before he left. She just found out this payday that he has stopped the allotment. She is contemplating giving up her rights to the other 2 or giving this baby up for adoption. She is mad that she only has a couple of hundred dollars after child support is taken. If she gives the baby up for adoption she will lose her on post housing and have to go back to the barracks correct? Since that is where she was before she got pregnant. Will she also lose her 6 weeks of maternity leave? I know this is a bad situation, that is why I wouldn't call her a friend but an aquaintence.

Even if she gives up the baby she will still be mad that she is broke after child support is taken out. So, what is the process she should take if she wants to give up her rights to the 2 older kids or put the baby up for adoption? Also, back to the barracks right? And no leave? Or being excused for deployment? She got pregnant about 3 weeks before her unit deployed to Iraq. They will be there until November and will this mean she will most likely have to deploy if she gives the baby up? Thank you.

A couple of things/issues:

A) For her to give up rights to the kids, she would have to have to have the father's wife be willing to adopt. You can't just give up your kids if no one will take them.

B) Is she getting paid for the dependents? The military does give extra pay for dependents.

C) If she gives up the current kids, she will no longer get that extra pay.

D) With an additional child to support, if she cannot give up the kids that the father is responsible for, she CAN reduce support based on additional children.

E) She needs to sue the other guy for paternity to get appropriate support.


And guess what... not having much left over money after the bare necessities is typical with children. They suck the money out of your wallet. It is called being a parent and an adult. If she doesn't like those concepts, perhaps she should have kept her legs closed.

[new2this05]

Badapple

I agree with everything you have said. Thank you for all of the clarification.

A) He is remarried and I am sure she would be happy to adopt the kids. I can't see why she wouldn't want to.

B) She is getting partial BAH for the kids, but now that she is moving out of the barracks due to her pregnancy that will be different.

E) Before he deployed she had him sign a notarized document that he would pay her a certain amount a month before the baby was born and then a larger amount after. But she didn't start the court process because well, I don't know why. So now he has cancelled his allotment and will not be back until the Fall.

I do have another question for you. With the things you point out in:

D) With an additional child to support, if she cannot give up the kids that the father is responsible for, she CAN reduce support based on additional children.

To reduce the support based on additional children she would have to be able to not give up the children that are with the father? Meaning if he wasn't remarried or if the stepmother didn't want to adopt them? Can the birth mother just choose to keep her rights and still get a support reduction?