Son went UA 2 days ago. Help!

[UA_Marine_Mom]

What is the name of your state? DE
My son went UA 2 days ago from Camp Geiger SOI. The boys had their first off base liberty, went into Jacksonville, went on a drinking binge, got tatoos. On Saturday morning they returned to the barracks to drop off their supplies they bought for SOI training, went back into Jacksonville and by Sunday morning he had decided to go UA. My son blew all his money on the binge. I know this is not a well thought out decision on his part but rather a spur of the moment, alcohol induced adolescent thing. Enough.
He is staying with friends, doesn't want to discuss this with me and won't come home. If he wants to leave the Marines he needs to make an informed decision and have all the facts about what will happen to him. He will not pass his urinalysis upon return. He says he has a "drug waiver" in his file. What does this mean? I think the boys think they are going to go back on the 2nd of Jan, fail their urine tests and get discharged automatically. Can someone (BadApple?) please shine the light of reality here? How can I help him, convince him to return ASAP, before the trouble escalates into unmanageable proportions? I think that the shame of leaving the Marines in such a way will haunt him his entire life. PLEASE HELP

[fozzy2]

Not a pretty situation. He needs to decide, quickly, if he wants to stay in the Marine Corps. If he wants out, then going back and failing the urinalysis will basically guarantee that. He might get an administrative drug discharge. They might charge him with a crime. Either way, he will almost certainly be leaving the Corps.

If he wants to stay, then there may be some merit in waiting until there is at least hope of passing the urinalysis, depending on what he's taken. However, he will then have to lie about his drug use history -- in addition to moral factors there can be practical problems. If he goes back, can pass a urinalysis, and pleads youthful indiscretion, there is a chance the Corps will keep him. Another potential option is to check into a hospital/clinic etc. for treatment in order to stave off a urinalysis and mitigate the AWOL - but that would be a complicated, risky, try and he would really have to want to get back.

A "simple" AWOL would not necessarily be such a drastic thing. But if he has taken illegal drugs then he has put himself into a whole 'nother ballpark as far as seriousness is concerned. The reality is that his USMC career is on life support if it isn't already dead, and his discharge probably will be burden on him for the rest of his life. I should point out that in a situation like this, where a bunch of young kids go out and binge, very often at least one (and often several) will inform on the others. Thus, the USMC may soon (or already) know about his drug use irregardless of a urinalysis.

[rmet4nzkx]

The drinking and tatto's are very typical behavior for that first liberty and as the other poster said their Sgt.s will know what they were up to and exactly what they did. he should really turn himself in ASAP either back to Camp Geiger or to a VA hospital. Since he won't talk about it it is hard to advise what might happen, but if he is separated from the corps it will affect his future. He is no longer a recruit, now he needs to act like a Marine.

[badapple40]

This is one of the few times that I would think about his turning himself in. The AWOL + the drugs WILL end up in a special court martial.

Have him detox himself, get whatever he did out of his system, then turn himself in. He'll probably end up with an other than honorable, but at least it won't be a bad conduct discharge and a federal felony that will follow junior around for the rest of his life.

Maybe they won't test him when he returns... but I wouldn't count on that. I get to pee in a bottle with the nanny watching every time I report for reserve duty.

They could nail him for being gone more than 30 days, it could result in a bad conduct discharge and a year in prison. But the chances are that they will simply discharge him with an OTH. The chances are GREAT that they will nail him for the drug usage.

[UA_Marine_Mom]

Thanks for your reply, BadApple40. Two previous posters (thank you) had mentioned checking into the VA hospital. For De-tox? For re-hab? What would likely happen if he took this option? Would they just ship him back to NC or allow him to complete treatment? I understand that some substances take 45 days to be gone from the system. Your suggestions would be most helpful. - desperate, ashamed mother.

[rmet4nzkx]

It all depends on what he took and how much to determin how long it might take to detox, wether it was intentional, was he drunk and then someone gave him somehting? Does he want out? How long jas he been in? He might get a failure to adjust or medical discharge. This drug waiver, what is that?

[UA_Marine_Mom]

Hello, rmet4nzkx. I'm pretty certain it was intentional, smokeable. As I said earlier, he's not telling me much. As for the "drug waiver", all I've been able to determine from searching the internet is that it is something like a statement of previous drug use prior to enlistment. I don't know what the full meaning of this "drug waiver" is or what it really means to have this in one's military file. I don't know if he wants to get out or stay in. And thank you for your earlier suggestions. I'm really at a loss here, have no roadmap for this scenerio. My dad & brother were both career Army, another brother career Marine (all deceased). Two of the happiest days of my life were Family Day at Parris Island and Graduation the next day. I am in utter disbelief. I'm just thankful my father didn't live to see this. I'm rambling.

[badapple40]

Marajuana typically leaves the system within 30 days -- less if this was his first couple times (though it may remain in hair). I wouldn't go to the VA hospital if I were him. I would make sure I haven't done anything else, and go back on the 29th day of AWOL -- it keeps them from being able to give him a bad conduct discharge and limits the penalty -- so much that he may be about to serve out his enlistment and, assuming no other screw ups, will get an honorable discharge.

The marijuana should be out of his system by then. Even IF someone else rats him out, JAG will typically no begin a prosecution for the offense absent some physical evidence of the crime.

[UA_Marine_Mom]

BadApple40, thanks for your reply. Do you know anything about this "drug waiver" thing?

[rmet4nzkx]

Frankly, given what you have said and your son's response to your questions, he had a drug problem prior to enlistment, possibly more severe than you had ever suspected and he knows he will not pass the testing and more than likely has still been using while he is UA beyond that use on 12-4-5 and or it will be difficult to pass testing if he returns on day 29. There are things people take in attempts to clear their system of MJ so they can pass drug tests and if he is/has been a user he knows what these are. However, that is more a matter of urban myth, see the article on page 5
[url]http://www-nmcp.med.navy.mil/PAO/Courier/pdf/2001/SepOct.pdf[/url]

The drug waiver allows a recruit to admit that they have used illegal drugs within the 6 mos prior and allows a fresh start and advising recruits of the 0 tolerance for drugs. Here is an example of a case with a drug waiver which resulted in both detention and BCD
[url]http://www.jag.navy.mil/NMCCA/200200753.UNPUB.doc[/url] the military member lost on appeal.

You need to have a heart to heart talk with him about what he wants for his future, if he has a history of not quite fitting in socially, learning disorders, lack of pragmatics, knowing the rules but can't seem to know when to apply them, confabulation there may be some psychological basis for your son ending up in this place, if that is the case the VA hospital might be able to help otherwise trying to get a clean test is best, even if he is discharged. Is there anyway you can get him home and away from those enabling him?

[UA_Marine_Mom]

Thanks for the reply, rmet4nzkx. I suspected that the drug waiver was as you described.

I wish I knew where he was, and, even if I did, he's a man, an adult (I know he's acting like a child) and I can't abduct him. I believe he is not capable of hearing me at this time. You were absolutely correct in your initial post that he now needs to act like a Marine. I also believe that the more I try to fix, rescue and clean up after him the longer it will take for him to act like a Marine. (a steep order for a mother)

I also have heard of these "flush" drugs, don't know much about them, agree that they are probably in the arena of urban myth. I will check out the links you provided. I really appreciate the time you've spent responding to my posts - grateful would be a better term. Thank you again. You've been most kind.

[rmet4nzkx]

It is a shame for him to have gone to the trouble of joining getting through basic, with other opportunities to seperate and then to do this. I wasn't suggesting you abduct him and he is most definately an adult, an adult about to learn a lesson the hard way. Sad, it would have made a man out of him.

My son was in the Marines and even though he had cold feet and was very reluctant to enter, he did and is very different than to charming young man who entered MCRD San Diego. He couldn't understand why some who had known drugs weren't tolerated continued as if they wouldn't get caught, and all the time in basic doesn't keep them from using. He came home on leave and came away saying what a shame that his old friends were doing nothing with their lives and how easy it would be to fall back into that pattern if he came home after he finished his enlistment. SO he relocated to another part of the country where he had friends from the Corps and has done well.

See if you can talk some sense into him if he calls.

[UA_Marine_Mom]

No, I knew you were not suggesting I abduct him, as much as I would love to do it. I will try to talk a little reality to him if given the chance. And it IS such a shame for him to go through Parris Island then go and do this. The situation you described regarding your son's old friends is what I fear: that my son will become just like his slacker high school friends.

I will post updates. Thank you.

[rmet4nzkx]

Originally Posted by UA_Marine_Mom

No, I knew you were not suggesting I abduct him, as much as I would love to do it. I will try to talk a little reality to him if given the chance. And it IS such a shame for him to go through Parris Island then go and do this. The situation you described regarding your son's old friends is what I fear: that my son will become just like his slacker high school friends.

I will post updates. Thank you.

Slacker is a good name for them, one of them, a neighbor, asked me when my son would be home on leave and I told him, he was looking forward to seeing him agian, unfortunately the friend OD'd the day before my son arrived, we went to his funeral instead.

[UA_Marine_Mom]

They don't seem to comprehend that drugs will take them to three places: to jail, the insane asylum or the cemetary. I also have been to more than my fair share of drug and alcohol related funerals. Again, I am grateful for your insight and sharing your experiences with me.