Suicide Attempt.

[goncrzyftgordon]

What is the name of your state? stationed GA home state, CA
I am a 19 year old stationed at fort gordon georgia Active duty Army. I am going crazy here. I cant eat, sleep, or even begin to work. I need out. i have tried commiting suicide one time, and continue to be depressed. what steps should I take to leave this army I hate so much.

 

[SHORTY LONG]

What is the name of your state? stationed GA home state, CA
I am a 19 year old stationed at fort gordon georgia Active duty Army. I am going crazy here. I cant eat, sleep, or even begin to work. I need out. i have tried commiting suicide one time, and continue to be depressed. what steps should I take to leave this army I hate so much.

Have a one on one with your Drill Instructors about your present state of mind.

 

[CypressRyan]

Trust me when I say I know what your feeling, I never thought about suicde but I still know the feelings your having. What you need to do is tell your DI your going to medical, go straight to mental health. Tell them you need to see the on call doc as soon as possible. Tell the doc exactly how you feel and I mean don't hold back, show them your not just someone trying to BS them. The doc may or may not take you seriously the first time, if he does, great then you can both talk about a course of action from there. If he doesn't take you seriously, if he shrugs you off then go back tomorrow then the next day until he pays attention. If your really serious and not just trying to get out early you will be treated and probably discharged. Keep in mind that none of this is a short process, we are talking months. But if you keep at it you will get the result your after. Btw if you say your suicidal they will have no choice but to take you seriously, BUT keep in mind that will almost certainly make your stay in military longer. They will put you in the psych ward until they feel like your ok. Also do research, try and go into it with as much knowledge as you can.

Sorry the time frame is probably not what you want to hear but there is no quick and easy way out of the military. Also do alot of reading on this site, and keep in mind AWOL is a terrible idea. I hope any information I offer helps as I am at the ending weeks of a long story like yours. It has taken almost 4 months of hard work to get to this point. I hope your road is quicker.

Ps get any and all meetings with medical professionals documented. No matter what just have them make an entry in your record you were there and what you had to say.

 

[goncrzyftgordon]

Update

state stationed GA. As you said i tried to have a one on one with my drill sergeant but i cant really do face to face with people to well... this is the letter i wrote him.

For Drill Sergeant James,

I am writing this letter because i cant organize my thoughts and needs otherwise. i have been meaning to talk to you about some issuses but find everytime i try i draw a blank. ok here I go. i told my mom about my suicide, she was really upset and just in awe for about 30 minutes. then asked why and will i do it again. she has been calling me like every day since then to make sure im okay. i didnt tell my dad because he allready has alot of stuff on his plate however i may tell him in the future. i have an appointment the first or fifth of october, about the time Im supposed to pcs for another MOS. my appointment is with a psychciatrist to evaluate me and maybe diagnose me. the problems i can tell im going to have allready is i talk to some poeple that work in mental health and say they dont give diagnosies or it takes months. i cant get my past medical records because my doctor stopped practicing. i tried calling and emailing. her old phone line is a fax machine.
i am going crazy in the army drill Sgt. i cant think, my mind always races, i cant sleep (its now 2:12) and i have to get up to do pt in about two hours. some nights i get no sleep. i eat once every two days max and when i do its just a bite or two then i feel sick. I cant remember hardly anything. when i do sleep its like a coma i cant wake up even when my room mates shake me. im depressed i can hardly think clearly. i always feel weak and sore.
Okay now a little about my past. i was put in a group home when i was about...14 i guess i wasnt getting along with my mom i was on drugs and wouldnt listen to anyone or anything. i would have manic episodes that would get so bad , one time i threw a full 2 liter through drywall, just missing her, i threw a board through a downstairs window, and would just run away. my longest time being gone was about a week. back to the group home, i wouldnt conform to rules. i continued to self medicate with marijuana. the only thing that could slow me down when my mind wouldnt. so i was on lockdown there did details. i got fed up and left several more times. i cant stand people tell me what to do. i eventually stop getting drug tested at the group home because i sort of explained to one of the counselors why i was doing it and the tests stop coming after i passed one. i calmed down and my mom let me smoke pot becase she knew it calmed me down when i couldnt. end result i made some bad friends and this time she sent me live with my dad since i was almost 18. my dad was thrilled, they split up when i was about 8 or younger, so he missed me alot and i missed him. i got out there to california (home of record) and started working with him cutting trees he kind of understood me like no one else. i left there to start a career and get something good to put on a job application. to move back later with my dad. a quiet life I am kind of a loner.
here i am in the army. Now i am being moved to a new MOS. i know i will have to pcs before i can get my full psych evaluation. and my suicide attempt , isn't logged anywhere. this sort of worries me. i know if i try to see a psychologist at my new ait it definitely wont be logged anywhere. i guess this is kind of a cry for help. i cant handle being in the army. i know if i stay in i will do something i will regret, which i do not want to happen. so i am coming to you because you are the only person that has talked to me for longer than 5 minutes and didn't get pissed when i asked to talk. i appreciate that allot drill sergeant. i want to know what steps can be taken to get me out. im going more and more “crazy” everyday.

END OF LETTER


I am supposed to be re classed here soon. i am inactive now. i need a surgery that requires 6 weeks recovery. My Company commander is not the nicest person and i know he will make my convalescent leave impossible to get. Im fed up! that might slow that process down I am thinking. another update. I have an appointment at mental health the first of Oct. i have already been "dicked around" until i got this appointment. i have talked to some people from mental health and they said they don't usually diagnose, or if they do it takes months. which i do not have. what should i do? please post quick time is precious .

 

[TANK187]

I do understand...

Listen, I hear what you're going through. My wife was making me go nuts while I was stationed at AIT in Arizona. However...I did the wrong thing. I went AWOL. Now, I admit that it's nice to be home, and see loved ones, but its a temporary fix to a long term problem. I too tried to see the chaplain, the DS, the 1SG, and the Commander...no one helped. I tried to go to Mental Health and explain my mental state....no dice there either. The only thing I can tell you is that you have about three or four options. First, and I advise against it, is to go AWOL. THIS IS A LAST RESORT. You will pay dearly for it, and it isn't fun looking over your shoulder all the time for cops and not being able to get a real job. Think about it first. Second, continue to do what you are doing.....never quit. Bother them so much that they begin to get irritated. They see soldiers everyday that claim the "going crazy" ticket. What makes you any different...make them see what you see. Third, talk to JAG...you're still in training, and possibly still within the General Discharge period. If so, your commander has the power to suggest to Brigade that you get booted, for "Not Able To Adapt To Military Life." This is what I tried. Sometimes it works, sometimes not. Hope you have a good commander. Last, is talk to Mental Health again...after having gone through your chaplain chain of command. You might need to get the post chaplain to hear your case. If he'll see you that is. If he does, get him on your side....beef up your story and stand out from those he sees everyday. He's got the authority to make the discharge wheels start turning. If he'll see you and nothing happens....keep going until it does. The ARMY can't ignore you forever. But, as someone stated earlier....this takes time. There is no quick fix other than Awol. If you go that route, you're looking at a OTH discharge, and possible jail time. However there are many ways to skin an Army....so don't let them bullsh$$ you around....if you need the facts on AWOL, I'll give'em to you, but be warned- Its not fun. Try the other ways first. Perhaps you'll have more luck than I did. Godspeed Soldier.
-Regards PFC DIAL Kansas

 

[fozzy2]

As others have posted: You need to *immediately* tell your superiors that you are suicidal and that "i will do something i will regret". Just flat out tell them. If you are free to move about, go straight to medical and tell them.

Right now it is more important that you get immediate supervision and help -- getting out of the military can be taken care of in time.