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  1. #1
    Finished2010 is offline Member
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    truth vs lying and cheating

    What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Outside the US

    I am a military spouse. My question is about another soldiers situation and if the knowledge I have about certain things can help him out in anyway. A guy who we will call D is and has been going through a divorce since late 08. He during that time meet a national of our host country who is also going through a divorce with a soldier who was stationed at our base. His entire chain of command has known about this relationship and although they "frowned" upon him for dating while he is still technically married no one was really worried about it. About a month ago my husband and I had a cookout in which several people attended. Including D and his girlfriend C. Also a soldier who we will call V and his wife we will call N came. C brought her sister J. J and V engaged in some flirting and V commented on her taste in music, clothes and personality with much enthusiasm. About 10:30 that night everyone left except for a couple soldiers that I requested give me their keys as they were to drunk to drive back to base. C who in the last few months I have become good friends with called and asked if I would bring her purse over to the house as she had forgot it. My husband and I took it right over. We get there and V is there without his wife and began to complain about how his wife is to needy and clingy. It was absolutely disgusting the way he spoke of his wife, then he and J dance a little together and go into the backyard for about 25-30 minutes. J comes back in alone and goes into the bathroom where she turns on the shower and I assume gets in. There were leaves in her hair and her back was covered in dirt. My husband and I leave. the next day while my husband was at work V invites us to a cookout at his house for the coming weekend, he specifies that D, C and J are not invited. He goes on to tell my husband that J spent the entire night after our cookout texting his phone and almost got him in trouble with his wife. We went to Vs cookout and V was reluctant to leave me alone with his wife, I had my suspensions but I had no intentions of saying anything to his wife, its not my place.

    This weekend C and D came to our house and C told me that she and D saw V and his wife at the club. She stated that as they were looking for a parking place they made 2 circles around the lot. Apparently V felt this threatening and once they parked and were out of the car V came up on C very fast, C said these exact words to V as told to me " whats good". This is slang for whats up or whats going on. V pulled his shirt off got into Cs face and began to shout at her " do you have a problem with me". From what C tells me words were exchanged and the conflict was somewhat resolved without any violence. Early Saturday morning D receives a text from V and it reads ( D showed it to me) " You better watch your back when you are at home". D went right over to Vs house and although the lights were on and the car was there no one answered the door. Sunday D saw V on post and confronted him about the text and V said it was his wife and he had "handled" the situation and all was "cool".

    Monday ( yesterday) D and C where asked to come into the Sergent majors office where D was given written orders to have no contact in any way with C. He was given a counseling statement and there is talk of UCMJ action for him and C seeing each other and threatening V and N. D tells him about the incident at the club Friday night and shows him the text he got from V. C told the Sergent major about how when she sees N around town N gives her dirty looks. the Sergent major said that V and N are scared that D and C are going to harm them and feel threatened so much that V requested not to be anywhere around D. Sergent major even though D showed him evidence of Vs threat didnt care to hear about any of that and said to D that threatening fellow soldiers with bodily harm is intolerable and he will be seeking the fullest possible punishment for Ds "actions". D was ordered to put C on a bus back to Venice within the hour and to have no further contact until both divorces are finalized.

    It is very clear to all why V has said these things. Apparently N has asked D about her husbands actions the weekend of our cookout when V was at Ds house without her. She knows something happened I am sure, I feel she thinks her husband slept with C. V is discrediting anything D says to cover up his own infidelity. I understand that married peoples in the military are not supposed to date or otherwise while still married even if going through a divorce, the actions being taken against him are all due to Vs claims against him. As everyone including Sergent major were aware of this relationship before hand. I feel if D is going to be punished for dating while going through a long drawn out divorce V should be equally punished for his own infidelity and the threats he made against D as well. Am I allowed to speak to the Sergent Major myself about what I know. I understand the punishment for D dating while married will still stand but maybe they will lighten up on him if another person confirms that V is Pot calling Kettle black. If they know that V has been unfaithful to his own wife and is obviously worried D or C will let the bird out of the cage they will be able to see Vs motivation and at least he will be equally punished for his actions as well. its really bothersome to me, I know about what V did and so does my husband, V has been standoffish with my husband at work and has said things to the effect that people who mess with his family "go down". I would like to see V held accountable for his actions and if possible help save my friends military career. Sorry so long and drawn out, it was a lot of drama to try and put in words, what a group of men we have defending our country's freedom. Can my friend D speak to anyone about the Sergent Majors total disregard to Vs action, isnt that unfair. Sergent major and V bowel together and have lunch frequently, if that even matters.
  2. #2
    Proserpina is offline Senior Member
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    You're not going to like this but...frankly, this is absolutely none of your business.

    You need to keep out of the matter entirely.
  3. #3
    Finished2010 is offline Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Proserpina View Post
    You're not going to like this but...frankly, this is absolutely none of your business.

    You need to keep out of the matter entirely.
    I agree with you. Thats why I said nothing to N about what I thought happened between V and J. It seems very unfair that no one is looking at what V did to D as far as threats go. Not to mention Vs involvement with another woman. Its hard to see my friend being punished for his wrong doing and anothers actions not even being addressed. I honestly dont want to speak to the SM as I feel my word wouldn't make a difference anyway. Is there anything my friend can do, he is in so much trouble. His life isn't easy as it is, he hasn't seen his son since his wife and he separated. His soon soon to be X is using the CS and Spousal support to fund her "legal war" against him. He is broke and can no longer afford his atty. He has sold most of his belongings in an attempt to fight for some of the things they accumulated in their 9 years of marriage, His atty told him along with JAG that if they don't divorce soon she is entitled to half of his retirement fund and this is why she has drug it out so long. Can Ig help him out at all?? The SM in my opinion is willing to overlook all of Vs part in this because they are "buddies". Does he have any options??

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