Urgent Help With Discharge!!

[fightingspouse]

What is the name of your state? VA

First off I want to apoligize because this is going to be pretting long.

Back in May, while I was at work and the baby at a friends house, my hubby was taking full advantage of a night to himself. He drank wayy to much. Never seen him quit like this before. He became aggitated and started talking out his butt. After calming down somewhat I went to open the front door to walk outside, I dont know if he thought I was leaving but he came up behind me and asked me not to go, at this point he was in that sad drunk stage, but when he went to reach for me, he grabbed my hair, and out of instinct I dropped down, and he still had a grip. So of course some hair came out. I wasnt scared, I knew he hadnt done it out of anger, I was more shocked than anything. I went upstairs to change out of my work clothes and upon returning back down stairs he was on the phone with the MP's telling them to come to the house. They came and removed him from the home which they have to do. The MP's asked him what happen he told them everything, of course I had to fill out a report, and they took pictures of the back of my head, as the MP is pushing my hair to the side and pushing it down to look for a bald spot!!

He couldnt make a statement at the station b/c he was to drunk, and couldnt remember everything in detail, as of this day some of it is still a blur. I spoke with his commander the next day and explained to her what happen. Told her my husband was not a violent person, never raised his hand to me and how afraid I was that when everyone in the unit finds out what happens, (we all know how gossip is in the military) I didnt want people to think he abused me. She told me "dont worry I dont tolerate gossip and we are going to get yall all the help you need with this, WE ARENT GOING TO HANG HIM OUT TO DRY!"

We met with the Chaplin on post the following day who looked shocked when I walked in the room b/c he was told I was beat in my face!! So rumors were already starting. My husband immediatly signed up for ASAP, and other counciling, and my son and myself had to go to family advocacy as well. At a meeting with my husband, his ASAP counclor, the commander and 1st sgt, they told him how proud they were at all his success at treatment. My husband has been alcohol free since May.

For this he received an AR 15, he lost all his rank, 1/2 months pay for 2 months, and 45 days extra duty. Not only was he punished this way, but was called a "wife beater, spouse abuser, and was told I should leave him b/c he is a piece of s***" by his 1st sgt and a CSM.

Sept. 10 the unit initatied chapter paperwork. My husband met w/ a JAG attorney on the 13 where he was told he had 6 years of service( he came in once, got out and came back in), so he would be entitled a board hearing. GREAT! I could actually be present to tell my side of the story, since no one told my husband I could be present at the AR 15 hearing until it was to late to appeal. On 11Oct an attorney found out that my husband actual 6 yr mark was 23Oct.!! He was never informed of this and given the oppurnity to meet back w/ an attorney.

22Oct he was called to the unit where he was given his discharge papers and we have 14 days to clear post and housing ! I was floored!!! I got right on the phone and arranged a meeting with the Lt. Col to ask what we could do to fight and stop this discharge. My husbands Battalion Commander was there. The Lt.Col wanted to know what the findings were at the CRC board, which is a board that met consisting of an investigator,the mp that was here, the social worker that I had been seeing, and my husband commander.The BC told us he didnt know but that the commander would know b/c she was there and the BC told us that there was no documentation of this. So the commander met w/ him later that evening and told him they found substantional evidence of physical abuse on me and emotional abuse on our son. The BC had called me the next day and told me this and that there was nothing we could do but drive on and start packing.

I became curious so i called Social work services, just to make sure there wasnt any documention like i was told from the BC. LIED TO!!! Not only was there a document, but it was dated 25Aug and sent to my husbands command that day, the command was to sign it and so was my husband and it was to be sent back to social work services! The lady asked me if i knew why it hadnt been signed yet, I told her I didnt know! but..THEY NEVER SHOWED IT TO MY HUSBAND! And...We had 30 days from date of notification 25Aug, to file for a review if we didnt agree with their findings! WHICH WE WOULD HAVE B/C WE DONT AGREE!!


This document is not in his chapter paper work either. And the physical abuse on me is the reason for the chapter!! No charges were filed against my husband by the MP's or myself, so there is nothing criminal in his record.

My question, Can we get this discharge stopped by me getting this document? I am planning on contacting JAG and the Lt. Col on Monday, do I have a chance? This document was withheld from my husband and he was never given the chance to appeal it. I have contacted Sen. WEbbs office and my local congressman to file a congressional!

PLEASE H ELP! Myhusband does not want out he wants to stay in !

s

[cyberspook]

Originally Posted by fightingspouse

What is the name of your state? VA

First off I want to apoligize because this is going to be pretting long.

Back in May, while I was at work and the baby at a friends house, my hubby was taking full advantage of a night to himself. He drank wayy to much. Never seen him quit like this before. He became aggitated and started talking out his butt. After calming down somewhat I went to open the front door to walk outside, I dont know if he thought I was leaving but he came up behind me and asked me not to go, at this point he was in that sad drunk stage, but when he went to reach for me, he grabbed my hair, and out of instinct I dropped down, and he still had a grip. So of course some hair came out. I wasnt scared, I knew he hadnt done it out of anger, I was more shocked than anything. I went upstairs to change out of my work clothes and upon returning back down stairs he was on the phone with the MP's telling them to come to the house. They came and removed him from the home which they have to do. The MP's asked him what happen he told them everything, of course I had to fill out a report, and they took pictures of the back of my head, as the MP is pushing my hair to the side and pushing it down to look for a bald spot!!

He couldnt make a statement at the station b/c he was to drunk, and couldnt remember everything in detail, as of this day some of it is still a blur. I spoke with his commander the next day and explained to her what happen. Told her my husband was not a violent person, never raised his hand to me and how afraid I was that when everyone in the unit finds out what happens, (we all know how gossip is in the military) I didnt want people to think he abused me. She told me "dont worry I dont tolerate gossip and we are going to get yall all the help you need with this, WE ARENT GOING TO HANG HIM OUT TO DRY!"

We met with the Chaplin on post the following day who looked shocked when I walked in the room b/c he was told I was beat in my face!! So rumors were already starting. My husband immediatly signed up for ASAP, and other counciling, and my son and myself had to go to family advocacy as well. At a meeting with my husband, his ASAP counclor, the commander and 1st sgt, they told him how proud they were at all his success at treatment. My husband has been alcohol free since May.

For this he received an AR 15, he lost all his rank, 1/2 months pay for 2 months, and 45 days extra duty. Not only was he punished this way, but was called a "wife beater, spouse abuser, and was told I should leave him b/c he is a piece of s***" by his 1st sgt and a CSM.

Sept. 10 the unit initatied chapter paperwork. My husband met w/ a JAG attorney on the 13 where he was told he had 6 years of service( he came in once, got out and came back in), so he would be entitled a board hearing. GREAT! I could actually be present to tell my side of the story, since no one told my husband I could be present at the AR 15 hearing until it was to late to appeal. On 11Oct an attorney found out that my husband actual 6 yr mark was 23Oct.!! He was never informed of this and given the oppurnity to meet back w/ an attorney.

22Oct he was called to the unit where he was given his discharge papers and we have 14 days to clear post and housing ! I was floored!!! I got right on the phone and arranged a meeting with the Lt. Col to ask what we could do to fight and stop this discharge. My husbands Battalion Commander was there. The Lt.Col wanted to know what the findings were at the CRC board, which is a board that met consisting of an investigator,the mp that was here, the social worker that I had been seeing, and my husband commander.The BC told us he didnt know but that the commander would know b/c she was there and the BC told us that there was no documentation of this. So the commander met w/ him later that evening and told him they found substantional evidence of physical abuse on me and emotional abuse on our son. The BC had called me the next day and told me this and that there was nothing we could do but drive on and start packing.

I became curious so i called Social work services, just to make sure there wasnt any documention like i was told from the BC. LIED TO!!! Not only was there a document, but it was dated 25Aug and sent to my husbands command that day, the command was to sign it and so was my husband and it was to be sent back to social work services! The lady asked me if i knew why it hadnt been signed yet, I told her I didnt know! but..THEY NEVER SHOWED IT TO MY HUSBAND! And...We had 30 days from date of notification 25Aug, to file for a review if we didnt agree with their findings! WHICH WE WOULD HAVE B/C WE DONT AGREE!!


This document is not in his chapter paper work either. And the physical abuse on me is the reason for the chapter!! No charges were filed against my husband by the MP's or myself, so there is nothing criminal in his record.

My question, Can we get this discharge stopped by me getting this document? I am planning on contacting JAG and the Lt. Col on Monday, do I have a chance? This document was withheld from my husband and he was never given the chance to appeal it. I have contacted Sen. WEbbs office and my local congressman to file a congressional!

PLEASE H ELP! Myhusband does not want out he wants to stay in !

s

It sounds like you are doing everything you can to fight this. It all starts with the chain of command. Gather all documentation you can. I know this sounds like redundant advice but for the most part that is all I think anyone can offer.

Hook up with base legal, use the chain of command, get a civilian lawyer... blah blah blah... Sorry...

Big problem with the military, is when they set out to screw you, they usually don't fail. Screwing a member is every bit a mission as any other mission.