Nasty Situation with Co-Owner and possible foreclosure... help please!

[kyra]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Virginia.

Ok, I'm not entirely sure where this belongs but I figured this was as close as its going to get.

Last year I bought a house with my then boyfriend, as we both needed to move out of where we had been and had planned on getting married. Since then things have just not worked out (go figure), and now we are stuck with the house together. When we initially broke up seven months ago we decided to continue living there as roommates -- having separate rooms, paying our halves of the mortgage/utilities, and just generally trying to get along.

That has worked until recently, when he got furious after finding out I was now interested in the possibility of seeing someone else. The past week specifically has been full of drama, with him saying as many degrading things as he possibly can and throwing the box with what was our engagement ring inside of it at me. I'm at my wits end. I can't even sleep without him waking me up to tell me how much of a piece of s*** he thinks I am and constantly calling/texting me during the day. I never cheated or anything, but he's saying everything he can about my character (which is undeserved) and I had to block him from even accessing my Facebook account because of the derogatory comments he was continuously leaving for me.

At this point I cannot continue to live with him, and I'm having to move in with my parents because I don't make enough to pay for a new place in addition to paying my half of the mortgage/utilities. I understand that I got myself into this mess and that some options will undoubtedly damage my previously excellent credit, but I simply half to do something to get out of the situation.

My preference would be contacting the mortgage company about the possibility of doing a short sale, however my ex is not being cooperative because he insists he doesn't have anywhere else to go and sees no reason to try looking. I understand its a difficult position for him, but all he'd have to do is stop with the derogatory comments and emotionally abusive behavior and it wouldn't be coming to this.

There is no way we could sell the house without taking a loss because we bought it so recently, and while I'd be willing to pay the difference, there is no way I could get him to sign to do it.

So the only option I see as something that I could do without his signature would be to let it go into foreclosure, which is obviously not the best idea but I don't know what else is left. I'm hoping that when given the ultimatum, he will consent to following another course. If he doesn't, though, I'm concerned about the possible ramifications for me.

Can he do anything legally against me (suing or anything?) for failing to pay and letting it go into foreclosure? Is there a legal way of forcing his hand in another direction to avoid foreclosure?

I'd be happy to hear any advice that can be offered. Thank you!

[FlyingRon]

The sad state of things is that marriages are easier to get out of then property ownership/mortgages these days.

Your other option is a partition suit which will leave you further in the hole. Without his cooperation, foreclosure is your only option. Of course your credit will be trashed in the process and you may still be liable for the deficiency.

The other options is hope he makes the payments on the place or you make them yourself until the point where it's feasible (and he's agreeable) to sell it.