neighbor causing a ton of problems

[krajel]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Pennsylvania

My neighbor is a spiteful, vindictive woman, who I fear is capable of being dangerous.

She is very upset about a property line issue, where she is wrong, and I have the survey to prove it. Basically, she thinks she owns the narrow walkway between our houses, and she doesn't. We both do. We each own the half closest to our houses with easement to walk on both sides (as would be necessary to get through, as I said, it's narrow).

I've tried discussing this with her, but she always gets mean and nasty. Generally, I ignore her, but she is getting nastier and nastier.

Last week, she got violent, throwing our garbage cans at us, and in our yard, and threatening to make them disappear. I called the police, (at her taunting, Go ahead, call them!) who listened to both sides, and looked at the survey and told her that she was in the wrong and is being very petty and is extremely hard to deal with.

Instead of accepting that she is in the wrong, she has escalated her behavior.

As soon as the police left, we were taking my girls to the renaissance faire, as planned, and she stood on her porch and, in front of my girls, said "I don't know why you even HAD kids, you shouldn't have had any, they are your 'rent-a-kids'" and saying I was a bad mother. I was VERY offended by this, which I am sure is what she wanted. Once I got the girls in the car, I responded angrily to her, not cursing and yelling, but angry.

When I got in the car, my husband and I agreed to not respond to her again, in any way.


When my husband is taking the garbage out, she whispers in the dark out of her window at him, says things like "hello, mr. weiner" (I know, this is very odd), and when she sees me, she spits out things like "little bored *****" (that was yesterdays comment)

She also does things, like putting a board with rusty nails sticking out of it down the middle of the walkway she is so upset over. Obviously, this is dangerous, especially to my kids.

I have tried ignoring her, reasoning with her, and calling the police and letting them mediate. She is only getting worse and worse, and I can honestly say that I think she is dangerous.

I don't know what else to do at this point. I've started taking pictures of the things she is doing, and I am trying to catch her in the act of verbally harassing us, is it legal to record someone without them knowing?

What would I do with this proof? Sue her? I don't want her money, I just want to go outside without being harassed, etc. I fear that suing her will only make her angrier, as obviously the having the police come did.

I'm at a loss. I don't even go outside unless I am going to my car anymore.

 

[Kiawah]

Having dealt with my MIL who had deteriorating Alzheimer's for a number of years, you may not be able to deal logically with this if her problem is medically based.

I'd get an outside security camera set up on one of your outside eaves, to record everything that occurs on the walkway for safety purposes.

I'd suggest that you're just going to have to ignore her, unless it gets to the point that you have to take legal action based on some unprovoked security action.

 

[krajel]

I do believe she does have a mental disorder... besides her behavior, she doesn't work, and does not have any physical disabilities. She is not old enough to retire, and is not independently wealthy. My only guess is that she has some mental issue that she is getting disability from. I have tried just feeling pity for her, and grateful that i have all my mental faculties, but with her new, worse behavior, that is getting difficult.

My stepdad (who owns a commercial security company) started installing cameras outside my house, out of concern for us. (we live in a very urban neighborhood with a high crime rate).

When I told her about this 2 years ago (thinking she would be happy, as it would help protect her too), she was LIVID that I would even consider installing a camera where it may record something on her property. I told her that it was only going to record the porch and immediate front of my house, the side of my house I do not share with her, my backyard, and the walkway between our houses. I had no interest in spying on her, and was just trying to follow the recommendations of the police and my stepdad. She was SO angry that I abandoned having the cameras installed, just for neighborly peace.

I am definitely at the point of having them put up.

Thank you for your reply!

 

[drewguy]

Any way you can contact the woman's children (if she has any)?

You can be entirely nice about it and simply explain you are concerned because she has been behaving erratically and thought they might want to check up on her.

For what it's worth, my neighbor is nearly has bad and I'm pretty sure has no mental challenges--she's just a very unpleasant person.

 

[krajel]

She has no children, and has never been married. I considered contacting her sister (whom she does not get along with), for the reason you mentioned.

I'm afraid of what she will do when she finds out though...


Honestly, I can't be sure of her mental status, but I am almost trying to give her the benefit of the doubt and assume that she can't possibly just be that MEAN.

She does other things that make me think she has mental issues, paranoia, etc. she puts her dog in the car, and drives off... making you think she left, but then just comes around the block and parks in the back, or down the street, and goes back into her house. Like she thinks if we think she is not home, she is going to catch us in the act of vandalizing her stuff.

She has said "I better not find any of my stuff messed with" and accused our contractor (we both had the same one, we bought our houses through a historical preservation agency) of stealing a window screen from her window.

 

[Alex23]

That sucks.> If it's really that frequent you need to get video evidence. Maybe someone else in your family can be the cameraman while you take some abuse.

 

[krajel]

I thought about that when she was hitting into my husband with our garbage can and throwing them, and threatening to make them disappear. I had my phone on me, and used it to call the police, but in retrospect I wish I had used it to start videotaping her instead, and THEN called the police.

Luckily my phone has a video camera in it, so I can probably catch her pretty easily. I just don't know what to do with it?

What constitutes harassment?

 

[blocked]

This sounds like the same thing that is going on with us. You are lucky that the police are involved, but I do not think they will be for long (90 police calls made by one person for false claims in a couple of months). I would keep a log of every event, even if it sounds small at the time, and then get a TRO. Also request the police reports she may have filled against you. You need to show a pattern of behavior. Three of the 5 houses involved here have or have a hearing scheduled for restaining orders. The last one was because obstructions were placed in a driveway and caused personal injury. The TRO states nothing is to be placed in the drivway and access is not to be blocked in any way. DO NOT confront this person!!!!! In our case she provokes people to tell her to leave them alone, she tapes it, puts a spin on things, and files her own TRO. Good luck!

 

[krajel]

Wow, sounds like a crazy situation!

I do not think she has filed anything against us, the only time the police ever talked to me about her was when I called them. I haven't seen them come at all either.