Neighbor making passes at wife

[maizer]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? California.

Thanks to everyone that reads this post. So me and my wife have been happily married about a year now, and have been living in the same apartment for a year. This guy(50+yo) who is married, has a daughter, and lives across from us has now twice made passes at my wife. He knows me, talks to me, and I considered us friends before this happened. He doesn't have a job and my wife is usually at home during the day while I'm at work, so obviously I'm a bit worried. Its a small, old apartment, with little security. And of course my wife has made it clear she is not interested.

I'd like nothing better than to get in his face and ask him what the h*** he's thinking, but does anyone have any better advice? If not now, what should I do the next time this happens? He's not threatening or something, but yeah it bothers me. I'd feel better if he had a job and wasn't hanging around the apartment all day when I'm 40+ minutes away.What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?

EDIT: Sorry if this is the wrong forum, please move the thread!

 

[LillianX]

This really isn't a legal question. She just shouldn't open the door if he knocks on it, if she doesn't want to. If he hits on her, he very well may stop forever if she tells him, point blank, to stop it.

 

[maizer]

Thanks, but I'm just trying to keep my bases covered in case something escalates, or it doesn't work. Wouldn't have time to post on a forum and wait for a reply, and anyone else I ask doesn't have any legal knowledge, or says stupid things like do something violent. The neighbor is trigger happy with complaining to the landlord and anyone else, so I'd like prepared.

But as you said, hopefully it won't be a bother.

 

[dmcc10880]

Thanks, but I'm just trying to keep my bases covered in case something escalates, or it doesn't work. Wouldn't have time to post on a forum and wait for a reply, and anyone else I ask doesn't have any legal knowledge, or says stupid things like do something violent. The neighbor is trigger happy with complaining to the landlord and anyone else, so I'd like prepared.

But as you said, hopefully it won't be a bother.

It's your wife's problem. Let her handle it. If she feels threatened in any way, she can obtain a restraining order. Mind you, I said "she", not you.

 

[tranquility]

but does anyone have any better advice?

Try to be the person your wife will fall in love with.

 

[xylene]

Hitting on adult females, married or otherwise is not illegal.

Hitting on people is not rape, nor prelude to rape.

Advice:

1) Your wife needs to grow some thicker skin

2) Don't be goaded into a fight by a lonely old creeper. NOT worth it.

3) You need to consider living in a single family home

4) Why is it odd that he is at home all day, but for your wife that is fine?

5) Get a handgun. Teach wife to use it if she is just sitting alone all the time.

 

[You Are Guilty]

Not a legal question, but here's what I would do.

Step 1: Knock on neighbor's door.

Step 2: Tell neighbor you lost your wife's AZT in the hallway recently. Ask if he's seen it.

Step 3: Enjoy future silence from neighbor.

 

[maizer]

It's your wife's problem. Let her handle it. If she feels threatened in any way, she can obtain a restraining order. Mind you, I said "she", not you.

Ah, thanks but I should have mentioned she's not a native of the U.S. and just got her residency through our marriage. She's pretty independent and strong, but a bit at a loss what do do in a country she's been in only about 3 years now. That being said yeah it is her problem.

And I assume you're recommending not say anything at all next time I run into the guy?

 

[maizer]

Hitting on adult females, married or otherwise is not illegal.

Hitting on people is not rape, nor prelude to rape.

Advice:

1) Your wife needs to grow some thicker skin

2) Don't be goaded into a fight by a lonely old creeper. NOT worth it.

3) You need to consider living in a single family home

4) Why is it odd that he is at home all day, but for your wife that is fine?

5) Get a handgun. Teach wife to use it if she is just sitting alone all the time.

Sorry, should have mentioned she's been in the U.S. only 3 years, and her native language is not English. If we were in her home country I think she would've laughed it off.

And I'm not complaining about the guy not having a job, but that they always run into each other only when I'm away. And literally his door is two steps from ours.

Yeah I know I should be less concerned, and I actually am after reading the replies. Thanks!

 

[maizer]

Not a legal question, but here's what I would do.

Step 1: Knock on neighbor's door.

Step 2: Tell neighbor you lost your wife's AZT in the hallway recently. Ask if he's seen it.

Step 3: Enjoy future silence from neighbor.

Haha, yeah maybe I should ask him if he has a spare syringe I could borrow.

 

[xylene]

And I assume you're recommending not say anything at all next time I run into the guy?

If it were my partner I'd probably have to weigh how creeperish the matter was.

I mean, hitting on someone is juts not that outside the bounds, in and of itself.

How uncomfortable did your wife get? You mention she is not US born, so that is a real fair point.

Bottom line, whatever you do, it is not a situation where getting into a fist fight is at all warranted.

If you punched this guy it would be an assault rap.

"He made passes at my shy wife." - would not be a defense. It would be motive.

 

[dmcc10880]

Ah, thanks but I should have mentioned she's not a native of the U.S. and just got her residency through our marriage. She's pretty independent and strong, but a bit at a loss what do do in a country she's been in only about 3 years now. That being said yeah it is her problem.

And I assume you're recommending not say anything at all next time I run into the guy?

Your assumption is correct. All that will do is create tension that could build up to a bad situation for you. Secondly, it will show your insecurity, which could lead to more of a game by the old guy. Third, if your wife feels threatened in any way from this other person, she should file for a restraining order.

You should stay out of it, but speak with your wife and assist her in navigating the CA justice system if necessary. Good luck.

 

[maizer]

If it were my partner I'd probably have to weigh how creeperish the matter was.

I mean, hitting on someone is juts not that outside the bounds, in and of itself.

How uncomfortable did your wife get? You mention she is not US born, so that is a real fair point.

Bottom line, whatever you do, it is not a situation where getting into a fist fight is at all warranted.

If you punched this guy it would be an assault rap.

"He made passes at my shy wife." - would not be a defense. It would be motive.

Yeah random strangers making passes is completely fine, but a married man who likes to complain to me about injustice in this society and ultra protective of his daughter hitting on my wife was surprising.

And she's not really that uncomfortable, just bothered. I won't instigate anything, and if he does, I'll let him deck me first and then call the police.

Guess it's best if she handle it herself. Thanks.

 

[Antigone*]

Yeah random strangers making passes is completely fine, but a married man who likes to complain to me about injustice in this society and ultra protective of his daughter hitting on my wife was surprising.

And she's not really that uncomfortable, just bothered. I won't instigate anything, and if he does, I'll let him deck me first and then call the police.

Guess it's best if she handle it herself. Thanks.

So politely ask him how he would feel if you hit on his daughter. After he gives you his answer, respond appropriately.

 

[maizer]

Your assumption is correct. All that will do is create tension that could build up to a bad situation for you. Secondly, it will show your insecurity, which could lead to more of a game by the old guy. Third, if your wife feels threatened in any way from this other person, she should file for a restraining order.

You should stay out of it, but speak with your wife and assist her in navigating the CA justice system if necessary. Good luck.

Easily said then done since the guys obviously disregarding me, but I get the reasoning. I also get the feeling the guy's easily intimidated, one of those anti-social types. A polite but firm warning from me ought to do it, but yeah probably best for my wife to handle it, since everything has been strictly verbal so far.

Thanks!