Meaness on this forum - why ??

[garrula lingua]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Tx, Ca

I don't understand why FreeAdvice forum - esp. all Family Law sections - has become so mean to posters.

Many threads just disintegrate into arguments among members, regarding side issues which the responders, themselves, create.

This was an excellent board.
Many members are extremely knowledgable, accurate, and very generous in sharing info and helping others in need.

Recently, so many threads read like a high school bully session. There are often two or three pages of responders telling the OP what an idiot s/he is, with no content value in the postings.

It seems to, now, be primarily an ego trip, or outlet for many frustrated and arrogant posters (at the expense of OPs).

Maybe I hit the site on the wrong week ...

[csi7]

I agree that the bullying has substantially increased among some of the senior members towards people who are asking questions for the first time. This is a great forum when the same rules apply to everyone equally.

[Blue Meanie]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Tx, Ca

I don't understand why FreeAdvice forum - esp. all Family Law sections - has become so mean to posters.

Many threads just disintegrate into arguments among members, regarding side issues which the responders, themselves, create.

This was an excellent board.
Many members are extremely knowledgable, accurate, and very generous in sharing info and helping others in need.

Recently, so many threads read like a high school bully session. There are often two or three pages of responders telling the OP what an idiot s/he is, with no content value in the postings.

It seems to, now, be primarily an ego trip, or outlet for many frustrated and arrogant posters (at the expense of OPs).

Maybe I hit the site on the wrong week ...

Report the offending posts. Let Admin deal with it. If she agrees the offending member will be warned or get banned/time out.

[Proserpina]

Report the offending posts. Let Admin deal with it. If she agrees the offending member will be warned or get banned/time out.

The problem there is that the posts aren't treated equally.

Some members can "get away" with frankly abusive posts while others are reprimanded for what are really nothing more than slips of sarcasm and even just (perhaps oddly placed) humor.

Consistency would be wonderful.

(Though I do realize that the senior members are generally held to somewhat higher standards, some posts by certain even senior members have been plain abusive and yet have been allowed to remain).

Not that I want to start anything.

[Blue Meanie]

The problem there is that the posts aren't treated equally.

Some members can "get away" with frankly abusive posts while others are reprimanded for what are really nothing more than slips of sarcasm and even just (perhaps oddly placed) humor.

Consistency would be wonderful.

(Though I do realize that the senior members are generally held to somewhat higher standards, some posts by certain even senior members have been plain abusive and yet have been allowed to remain).

Not that I want to start anything.

We have all paid our dues. I have been banned for my posts...Most of the Sr's, at some point in time on this site, have had a bann.

If what I say offends or is LEGALLY wrong? Report.


IMO: This is not a site for "nice". But a site where people can get legal reality. "We" may be harsh or even "mean" ...but this is STILL the best legal forum.

Again...This is my opinion.

[justalayman]

I don't know about the others or how they feel but if somebody sees me as being abusive, I would be more than welcome for somebody to PM me. Sometimes, I am told, I don't see myself as others see me. While I am abrupt, blunt, direct, and a few other similar terms, I do not generally intend to be abusive. (although there are sometimes it is obvious an OP is a troll and I have to admit I have gone over the edge).

So, maybe a word, behind the scenes, might help any of us realize we are being a bit too abrupt.

[BL]

I had my timeout 5 day ban for Idiot language ,but it seemed when I reported a member for using the same Idiot term they were still posting as usual .

So perhaps the Admin. can block out the Idiot language altogether .

Why I was banned ? I was drawn into squabbling about what is and what is not law .

That member is now on ignore.

Nice feature.

[Proserpina]

I had my timeout 5 day ban for Idiot language ,but it seemed when I reported a member for using the same Idiot term they were still posting as usual .

So perhaps the Admin. can block out the Idiot language altogether .

Why I was banned ? I was drawn into squabbling about what is and what is not law .

That member is now on ignore.

Nice feature.

I like that feature

[garrula lingua]

I admit that I'm guilty of snarkiness (to a great degree). I don't mind being brought up short when I need it.

But some seem to have a contagious affect - a difference of opinion between responders seems to appear and it's a side issue and we all go off down the rabbit hole.

Considering we're a group of pro bono responders, it's odd when we spend time chastising each other. The impulse that brought us here was the desire to help others. And responders do that, beautifully. I can't figure out why we bully each other ...

BTW, the person who made me notice this and realize it's increasing, has not responded.

Anyway, thank you to those who responded. I think you're wonderful - y'all have helped many, many a person who couldn't get to sleep for worrying about something you helped them with; you've directed many people to the right places, and very generously given of your time and considerable talents.

[st-kitts]

I am glad a senior started this thread.

There are a couple posters that come to mind that digress into unnecessary name calling and I can't understand it.

It does bother me when an OP starts being berated to the point they are called "idiot" or "jerk" or "sadistic animal." OPs may need to hear a hard truth, but name calling is never appropriate, in my opinion.

[garrula lingua]

Amen, st-kitts!

[Free_Advice]

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The internet already knows .. on comment on the board above indicates to:

Avoid freeadvice.com


I however think that a free advice board should have no rules at all.

As it looks right now, there is a heavy bias with the moderators with various members & the moderators refuse to do their job really.

I would suggest that if two people are discussing an issue and they both could be seen as escalating the child-like postings then both their IPs should be banned (if the moderator has this ability).

However, since this board has been this way for a long time (I see internet complaints going back years and complaints on other advice boards as well) the only 2 solutions I see include:
1) shutting down the board all together (and I would support this recommendation today as these complaints must have been known to the owners of this site who have banned their names from being used on the board~showing a level of secrecy that is not meant to protect anyone but to hide). The downside of this is that the loud mouths would move onto my nicer boards that I frequent.
2) allow no moderation at all - total free speech - allow people to moderate their own mouths. This works with many boards as big mouths are constantly attacked and they leave.

[Proserpina]

And yet, we help - and have helped - literally thousands of posters over the years.

It's been known since the invention of the Interwebz that commonly, people only ever manage to dig up the bad stuff online...because when people are happy, they generally just go on with their lives, satisfied with what they've received.


We - as a collective - also tend to know which posters are trolls returning under new names.

Some posters might be surprised to learn which members also cross-post on other legal forums...perhaps using different screen-names.

[Free_Advice]

It's been known since the invention of the Interwebz that commonly, people only ever manage to dig up the bad stuff online...because when people are happy, they generally just go on with their lives, satisfied with what they've received.

There are many, many boards that contain complaints about this forum. And these boards also have people who talk about being helped too ... but the vast majority of comments are not positive. Most postings tend to indicate, as a whole, that many senior members on this board are considered to be trolls by other boards' members .. a telling sign indeed.

You may not like what I have posted but I have only posted facts. Ignore the facts if you like.

[Proserpina]

There are many, many boards that contain complaints about this forum. And these boards also have people who talk about being helped too ... but the vast majority of comments are not positive. Most postings tend to indicate, as a whole, that many senior members on this board are considered to be trolls by other boards' members .. a telling sign indeed.

You may not like what I have posted but I have only posted facts. Ignore the facts if you like.

And yet people keep returning, and getting advice.

As a group we are apparently doing something right!

And I'm glad about that.

If disgruntled posters don't like what they've been told? There's really not a whole lot anyone can do about that.

They're free to complain to admin, and write their reviews wherever they wish.

It honestly doesn't affect the day-to-day operation of the forums, obviously...other than the fact it's very obvious that certain disgruntled posters keep coming back under different user-names simply to cause trouble and stir things up.

But this forum, overall, is again apparently doing something right.