Abuse.

[Della89]

I live in California. I have a really distinct memory of someone with me and my sister who was 1 at the time. I was 3. We were forced to do sexual acts and at the age of 12 I developed signs of HPV. I didn't know what HPV was at the time it looked like a scab, but I removed it myself. The same type of scab looking wart appeared again recently. And I found out what it is. I know California has statue of limitations. What are my chances of civil suit with my Uncle? I suffered from mental illness because of it. But I never told anyone because of personal reasons. I've told my therapist but I'm not sure how to go about a civil suit if he could just say I'm mentally ill.

 

[quincy]

I live in California. I have a really distinct memory of someone with me and my sister who was 1 at the time. I was 3. We were forced to do sexual acts and at the age of 12 I developed signs of HPV. I didn't know what HPV was at the time it looked like a scab, but I removed it myself. The same type of scab looking wart appeared again recently. And I found out what it is. I know California has statue of limitations. What are my chances of civil suit with my Uncle? I suffered from mental illness because of it. But I never told anyone because of personal reasons. I've told my therapist but I'm not sure how to go about a civil suit if he could just say I'm mentally ill.

How old are you now, Della89?

You say you have a distinct memory of "someone." That is not enough to identify your Uncle or pursue any legal action against him for what he might (or just as easily might not) have done to you when you were 3.

 

[Della89]

My uncle lived with us for a few years. He also did some things with my cousin. I'm 26. My cousin would sleep in the same bed as him and change in front of him. But he doesn't want to come forward

 

[quincy]

My uncle lived with us for a few years. He also did some things with my cousin. I'm 26. My cousin would sleep in the same bed as him and change in front of him. But he doesn't want to come forward

Sleeping in the same bed with a person or changing in front of the person does not on its own make for a sexual crime, especially when the people involved are related.

You need clear and convincing evidence of a sexual assault or penetration, or someone who will support your allegations clearly and convincingly, before any thought of moving ahead with a legal action. Independent evidence does not include reports/opinions by mental health professionals.

Here is a link to the laws and limitations: http://www.leginfo.ca.gov/cgi-bin/displaycode?section=pen&group=00001-01000&file=799-805

 

[commentator]

It would be a gigantic stretch to think that you were abused at around the age of 3, and the abuse did not continue past this age we assume (?) and when you were 12 or so you got something that might have been HPV, might have been related to the abuse when you were three, and then you're having a problem of that sort now, and you're tying this current issue with this all back to something that happened when you were three?

We have to be assuming that of course there's been no sexual activity of any kind on your part between the possible abuse when you were three and now.

Frankly I think you should stay away from this whole business, except for continuing to work with your therapist, and let your cousin, if he was abused and can remember it clearly, be the one who deals with it, IF he so chooses.

You're just too far from it all, and a three year old's memories recovered when the person is 26.... it's so very hard to work with someone who is this young even right when the alleged abuse occurs, it has to be pretty much based on physical evidence, not so much testimony from the victim, and to wait twenty three years and then try to recall it or file charges against someone with no real supporting evidence or correlation is pretty much going to be impossible.

Just stay away from your uncle. Make sure you never, if you have children, allow them or any other younger family members to spend any time with this uncle. Stay in counseling.

 

[Just Blue]

My uncle lived with us for a few years. He also did some things with my cousin. I'm 26. My cousin would sleep in the same bed as him and change in front of him. But he doesn't want to come forward

How did you recover these memories?

 

[CdwJava]

My uncle lived with us for a few years. He also did some things with my cousin. I'm 26. My cousin would sleep in the same bed as him and change in front of him. But he doesn't want to come forward

A criminal prosecution is all but out of the question at this point. A civil suit MIGHT be possible, but that possibility became nearly impossible after you turned 26 absent some very unusual circumstances. You can always consult an attorney who can tell you how much it might cost you to try and roll these dice.

I would strongly encourage you to speak to a therapist or psychologist for help in addressing whatever feelings you have over this matter for that will be a greater concern than prosecution or a lawsuit.