assault

[ktina]

What is the name of your state? MI.
I was at a bar with 2 friends and we where talking when the girl at the next table said (what did you say) I told her nobody was talking to her, anyhow a few min. later as I walked past she called me f***b**** so as a reaction I threw my water at her, I turned around and the next thing I know she has me in a headlock and I had two other people on either side of me so in order to get her off, I bit her hand, I left the bar and as we where walking the police showed up. I made a statement went home, and 2 weeks later I get a letter saying a warrent has been issued for assault and battery. I was wondering what to do now?

 

[I AM ALWAYS LIABLE]

TOP 10 Things You Can Do When Arrested For Assault and Battery - -

NUMBER 10: You acknowledge to the court that you're still into assault, but ask for an order to lay off the battery.

NUMBER 9: After listening to testimony, judge agrees by saying, "Yeah, this is much better than the Tyson fight."

NUMBER 8: Judge orders you to write 1000 times, "Hello singing, dancing and hugging -- Goodbye drinking, fighting and smoking."

NUMBER 7: Instead of flying into a rage, judge orders you to just stroll into a rage.

NUMBER 6: Judge orders her to count to 10, then keeps slapping you mercilessly.

NUMBER 5: She got pissed off with you because you told her, "Your husband now has two female roommates, and for some stupid reason, he has to pretend he's gay."

NUMBER 4: Halfway through your trial, judge has his chair replaced with a La-Z-Boy recliner.

NUMBER 3: After her testimony, judge interjects, "Were you naked at the time?"

NUMBER 2: What pissed her off the most was when you said she looks just like the fat senator from Massachusetts with the drinking problem.

AND NOW, the NUMBER ONE Thing You Can Do When Arrested For Assault and Battery - -

In middle of trial, the judge points to you and says, "Oh, Dude, you are so guilty."


IAAL

 

[JETX]

" I was wondering what to do now?"
*** Start interviewing criminal defense attorneys.

 

[hmmbrdzz]

Those top ten kill me! How in the he** did she get you in a headlock so fast ?? Don't you know when you throw water on someone who's just called you a f*** b*** you're supposed to be prepared! If you can't fight any better than that you should not throw water! You bit her hand? You are in deep doo-doo. Human bites are as nasty as they get. What were her medical bills? You're screwed.


hmmbrdzz

 

[ktina]

I agree that I probably should not have turned my back, and the point is it was a reaction to what she said that led to my throwing the water. I should have known she would not just take it, also there was no puncture from the bite.