Blackmail

[momm2500]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? PA

was on a dating site and met a man there. we started dating for a couple of months. then I was getting the impression that he was lying and cheating on me. so I put a fake profile up to catch him. well I did catch him. then he got mad at me. I started reading some of the blogs he was posting and found out he was not for me. some of those blogs were very elicit on his sexual habits and what he wrote I copy and pasted into a question to the forum asking if anyone would date a guy like this. no mention of his name. now he is mad at me and is blackmailing me. telling me he will go to my boss and to my kids and give them pictures of me. what should I do? I do not want my personal information or pictures out to anyone.

 

[quincy]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? PA

was on a dating site and met a man there. we started dating for a couple of months. then I was getting the impression that he was lying and cheating on me. so I put a fake profile up to catch him. well I did catch him. then he got mad at me. I started reading some of the blogs he was posting and found out he was not for me. some of those blogs were very elicit on his sexual habits and what he wrote I copy and pasted into a question to the forum asking if anyone would date a guy like this. no mention of his name. now he is mad at me and is blackmailing me. telling me he will go to my boss and to my kids and give them pictures of me. what should I do? I do not want my personal information or pictures out to anyone.

I guess it will do you no good to tell you what you should and should not have done. Unfortunately, there is very little you can do now to change the past.

I recommend you delete the fake profile you created, and I recommend you delete from the forum all blog posts you copied and any comments you made about the guy.

And finally I recommend you distance yourself as much as possible from the fellow, hoping he will forget all about you (which, based on what you have posted about him, seems to be what is likely to occur anyway).

IF the guy follows through on any his threats, you might have some legal recourse at that time. With luck, it won't come to that.

 

[Just Blue]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? PA

was on a dating site and met a man there. we started dating for a couple of months. then I was getting the impression that he was lying and cheating on me. so I put a fake profile up to catch him. well I did catch him. then he got mad at me. I started reading some of the blogs he was posting and found out he was not for me. some of those blogs were very elicit on his sexual habits and what he wrote I copy and pasted into a question to the forum asking if anyone would date a guy like this. no mention of his name. now he is mad at me and is blackmailing me. telling me he will go to my boss and to my kids and give them pictures of me. what should I do? I do not want my personal information or pictures out to anyone.

You "dated" this guy for two WHOLE MONTHS and were this upset by his cheating on you? Really? Wow. Seems rather like a teenaged thing to do.

In the future actually KNOW someone before allowing them to know your children. Can save much heartache.

 

[momm2500]

You "dated" this guy for two WHOLE MONTHS and were this upset by his cheating on you? Really? Wow. Seems rather like a teenaged thing to do.

In the future actually KNOW someone before allowing them to know your children. Can save much heartache.

ok it was more than a couple of months (we were exclusive to each other) and no the person never met the kids. this was more of him sending stuff to my kids.

 

[quincy]

ok it was more than a couple of months (we were exclusive to each other) and no the person never met the kids. this was more of him sending stuff to my kids.

It apparently wasn't an exclusive relationship or you wouldn't be here.

I suggest you do not invest too much emotion into any new dating relationship. Relationships take time to develop (generally far longer than two months). And I recommend that, in the future, you take no and send no pictures of yourself that you would be embarrassed to have posted publicly or sent to your children or employer for view.

Good luck, momm2500.

 

[Just Blue]

ok it was more than a couple of months (we were exclusive to each other) and no the person never met the kids. this was more of him sending stuff to my kids.

Then how would he know how to contact them????

 

[momm2500]

Then how would he know how to contact them????

I don't know how he would but he says he has connections. he also stated he will send all this information to the owner of the company I work for. he knows where I work since he did construction there. isn't this harassment? should I just report him to the police? who gives him the right to do this?

 

[single317dad]

now he is mad at me and is blackmailing me. telling me he will go to my boss and to my kids and give them pictures of me. what should I do? I do not want my personal information or pictures out to anyone.

I can only assume that these are sexually provocative pictures which you shared with this man who you had only known a short time. I'm not sure I see anything else in your post that would be worrisome for your family or boss to know about.

If you have proof that he's blackmailing you (the actual charge in PA is extortion), you can call the police to investigate. Unfortunately, if you're looking for an answer to "how can I prevent him from distributing my embarrassing photos to others?", the only possible answer is to never send him those photos. You can't stop him from sending them to whomever he pleases; all you can do is deal with the fallout.

He has threatened to distribute these photos... unless what happens? What is he asking for? Extortion requires some gain on his part:

http://www.legis.state.pa.us/WU01/LI/LI/CT/HTM/18/00.039.023.000..HTM

http://www.legis.state.pa.us/WU01/LI/LI/CT/HTM/18/00.039.023.000..HTM

 

[quincy]

I don't know how he would but he says he has connections. he also stated he will send all this information to the owner of the company I work for. he knows where I work since he did construction there. isn't this harassment? should I just report him to the police? who gives him the right to do this?

Reporting to the police a threat to send photos to someone is not something that will be of interest to the police, unless the photos involve minors and pornography. But you can certainly file a report with the police.

This appears to be less harassment (by him, at any rate) than an unfortunate end to a very short and unsuccessful relationship.

You could be said to have started the mess by drawing attention to the guy's blog posts and asking for public response to what he wrote. What gives the man the right to be angry is the same right you have to be angry. Acting out on this anger is to no one's benefit.

I see no extortion in what you have posted.

 

[dave33]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? PA

was on a dating site and met a man there. we started dating for a couple of months. then I was getting the impression that he was lying and cheating on me. so I put a fake profile up to catch him. well I did catch him. then he got mad at me. I started reading some of the blogs he was posting and found out he was not for me. some of those blogs were very elicit on his sexual habits and what he wrote I copy and pasted into a question to the forum asking if anyone would date a guy like this. no mention of his name. now he is mad at me and is blackmailing me. telling me he will go to my boss and to my kids and give them pictures of me. what should I do? I do not want my personal information or pictures out to anyone.

What should you do? The only thing you can do is learn from this bad decision. I think it goes without saying, that if you "do not want your personal information or pictures out to anyone", than do not post them on the computer. Tell him to take his anger and his blackmail and shove it. That, or say nothing at all. goodluck.