Can a woman murder a man who is raping her?

[diltibia]

Hi, I need some serious advice. I have a friend (in Arizona) who has a very strange family. Her monther re-married when she was 6, and her new stepfather has been having sex with her since she was 15, she just turned 22. He got her pregnant 3 years ago and they have a son. Her mother knows about it and says "it's meant to be." Her stepfather was an A+ sniper in Vietnam war. Two years ago she told her father that she met a boy who was really nice and she liked him, and he wanted to know his name and he said he was going to kill him. She was scared and wouldn't tell him.
Her father keeps the whole family in the house at all times. They very rarely leave the house (which is extremely small), and when they do the father takes them there, which is almost exclusively to school (she is attending community college to become a nurse). She lives with her two sisters (one older and one younger), her son, and her mother and step father. She is not allowed to use the phone. He has been having sex with her in an ongoing basis for almost 7 years.
About a month ago she told her mom and dad that she wanted to move out, and her dad cried for hours telling her not to leave, they were "meant to be together" (he believes they were married in a previous life), and then he said he would kill himself if she left.
She so badly wants to leave this family. She wants to move in with me (male), and I want her to as well. But it's not unlikely that her father could come to try to kill one or both of us if that happens. We couldn't flee the area any time soon because we're both in college, and we don't have the means to move anyway.
So, my question being, is it legal for a woman to kill a man, if she tries to stop him from having sex with her and he proceeds.
I have a camcorder, and what if I was video taping the event. As he started to initiate sex, she tried to stop him, he went on, she had a gun under the pillow or somewhere nearby, and shot him after he entered.
Would that be justifiable homicide? If not, what is another action that could be taken? Is it incest if the man is her step-father? Can she accuse him of statutory rape for having sex with her for three years before she was 18? Even though she's 22 now?
Please tell me what can be done about this. I don't think a restraining order would be very effective after she moved out. Can you kill someone who violates a restraining order?
I seriously think he would try to kill anyone who accompanied her moving out of this dysfunctional family.
What if she accused him of rape? Could he instantly go to jail? Would a video recording be necessary?

Thanks to Anyone who can give me some insight.

 

[LadyBlu]

Hi, I need some serious advice. I have a friend (in Arizona) who has a very strange family. Her monther re-married when she was 6, and her new stepfather has been having sex with her since she was 15, she just turned 22. He got her pregnant 3 years ago and they have a son. Her mother knows about it and says "it's meant to be." Her stepfather was an A+ sniper in Vietnam war. Two years ago she told her father that she met a boy who was really nice and she liked him, and he wanted to know his name and he said he was going to kill him. She was scared and wouldn't tell him.
Her father keeps the whole family in the house at all times. They very rarely leave the house (which is extremely small), and when they do the father takes them there, which is almost exclusively to school (she is attending community college to become a nurse). She lives with her two sisters (one older and one younger), her son, and her mother and step father. She is not allowed to use the phone. He has been having sex with her in an ongoing basis for almost 7 years.
About a month ago she told her mom and dad that she wanted to move out, and her dad cried for hours telling her not to leave, they were "meant to be together" (he believes they were married in a previous life), and then he said he would kill himself if she left.
She so badly wants to leave this family. She wants to move in with me (male), and I want her to as well. But it's not unlikely that her father could come to try to kill one or both of us if that happens. We couldn't flee the area any time soon because we're both in college, and we don't have the means to move anyway.
So, my question being, is it legal for a woman to kill a man, if she tries to stop him from having sex with her and he proceeds.
I have a camcorder, and what if I was video taping the event. As he started to initiate sex, she tried to stop him, he went on, she had a gun under the pillow or somewhere nearby, and shot him after he entered.
Would that be justifiable homicide? If not, what is another action that could be taken? Is it incest if the man is her step-father? Can she accuse him of statutory rape for having sex with her for three years before she was 18? Even though she's 22 now?
Please tell me what can be done about this. I don't think a restraining order would be very effective after she moved out. Can you kill someone who violates a restraining order?
I seriously think he would try to kill anyone who accompanied her moving out of this dysfunctional family.
What if she accused him of rape? Could he instantly go to jail? Would a video recording be necessary?

Thanks to Anyone who can give me some insight.

May I make a suggestion? As an Adult Survivor of sexual/physical/emotional abuse as a child.. this needs to be reported to the authorities. This man has been allowed to get away with this for too long. There are laws against this type of thing (he being a step father has the responsibility of being a parent figure)and if the PD wont listen, go to the SO, if they wont listen go to CPS, keep telling people until someone listens. She needs to be removed from the home and away from that atmosphere. I know how hard it is to turn someone in that you think of as a *Father* figure. But killing this man is not the answer. I wish it were but from the way you are planning it out with the camcorder etc., it would be considered premeditated murder and would ruin both (3 counting the child) your lives. Do the right thing. Report it to the police, find her a safe place to go to until he is arrested. Call shelters in your area that will hide her and the child until he is out of the picture behind bars.

Good Luck, my prayers are with you.. please keep us updated as to how this turns out.

[Edited by LadyBlu on 11-12-2000 at 02:40 AM]

 

[diltibia]

Hi, thanks a lot for your reply. Only thing is, she can't just "disappear" in a shelter. She's attending college, her father keeps an eye on everything she does..

But you say it IS ILLEGAL for him to do what he does? You didn't really say what the grounds are. Can he be prosecuted for having sex with her when she was 15? There is no solid proof except for her word. Can she charge him for having sex with her? There's moral then there's legal. Merriam Webster says incest is having sex with someone you're not legally allowed to marry, but technically you're allowed to marry your step father. Is it rape if she's not screaming at him to stop? She stopped doing that years ago.
I think the only way a remedy would be effective is if it was instantaneous. If something was ongoing, he would kill somebody. Almost certainly. He's killed lots of people, he used to be a "best of the best" sniper in the Vietnam war.

I'd like to see a situation where she can build a case against him, without him knowing, and throw it all at him at once, and see him go directly and instantly to jail.
I just need to know how that could be done. She really needs to get out of this house. At least away from her step father.

You say go straight to the police right now, but with what? There's no evidence. And not even much if there Was evidence. If she's not yelling at him to stop having sex with her, then he could say he interpreted it as consentual. And the charges are dropped. Or he gets a slap on the wrist and probation.

He's very firm in his belief that they were married in a past life, at least that's how she sees it. He's also the type of person who doesn't take no for an answer. He runs the whole household, her mother never disagrees with him, no matter what the circumstances are.

And he's very protective of her. In the most extreme sense of the word.

Thanks to anyone and everyone who has some input on this.

 

[I AM ALWAYS LIABLE]

My response:

Why are you involving yourself in this matter? Because of love?

Remember, she's in an extremely dysfunctional family, and will carry that "baggage" with her for the rest of her life, potentially causing you a life of grief and/or legal headaches.

Get out now, while the getting's good.

Oh, I know you won't . . . I'm not foolish enough to believe that you'll take my suggestion. But, mark my words, sooner or later this whole matter is going to become a real HUGE problem for you - - something you don't need at your young age - - and then after it does, you'll remember "way back when, I remember someone telling me to get out while I could; I should have listened."

There are lot's of other fish in the sea.

Good luck.

IAAL

 

[cat2young]

What do you mean no proof? Didn't you say he fathered her child? She needs to get herself out of this situation. You need to back off a little, as IAAL said you are asking for more trouble than you know. I know you want to help her but she needs to take the action herself (she really does mentally, to break his "hold") and I am sure if she went to her teachers they would work with her about her classes. Even if they don't loosing a semester is not a high price to pay to get out of this situation. Tell her to call the local shelters and the police, and let them and her handle it. Good Luck

 

[Confusedsoul]

I am not lawyer but I do know that what you were talking about you taping him would get both of you in really big trouble. What you need to do is stay by her side and don't listen to what other people say about you getting involved.
You need to have her report it to the police. A good time would be when she is at school because then the dad won't know what is going on. If she talks to the school they should give her time off and you guys can go to a safe place away from the father. What he did is a crime and he should get introuble for it even thought she is 22. I not real sure but here you have five years after you are 18. I knew someone that got introuble and the girl didn't report it entile she was 18. You should try to get her into some type of counseling. Its fee if you go through a rape center because she probably has lot of feeling she needs to work though and she will need alots of help. If you have any questions you can email me and I will try to help you the best I can.

I wish you and her really good luck!!!

 

[I AM ALWAYS LIABLE]

". . . and don't listen to what other people say about you getting involved."

My response:

Can you tell me what you mean by the above statement?

Did you realize this kid is in college, that at his age he doesn't need this "baggage"?

Did you realize this kid is already talking about plotting a murder?

Just what the heck are you trying to accomplish with this kid, by telling him this stuff "confused soul"? Are you really that "confused" that you would have a youngster take on this kind of responsibility when his whole life could be ruined with her and the murder plot?

You better read his post all over again.

IAAL

 

[LadyBlu]

". . . and don't listen to what other people say about you getting involved."

My response:

Can you tell me what you mean by the above statement?

Did you realize this kid is in college, that at his age he doesn't need this "baggage"?

Did you realize this kid is already talking about plotting a murder?

Just what the heck are you trying to accomplish with this kid, by telling him this stuff "confused soul"? Are you really that "confused" that you would have a youngster take on this kind of responsibility when his whole life could be ruined with her and the murder plot?

You better read his post all over again.

IAAL

I agree with you completely IAAL, if I had had someone in my life that was worth anything after all of my stuff came to light that person would have been just a stepping stone for me, someone for me to use to get out of a bad situation so that I could be free, then when that person was no longer of use to me they would have been dumped on.
It is a survival technique that victims of abuse learn earlyin life as well as manipulating people. I am not saying these are bad things, they are just the way that a victim of abuse handles lifes ups and downs.

This guy does need to distance himself. Maybe if he reports this situation to the local authorities then backs out of the situation.

It will take many many years for this girl to go through all of the different psychological stages that this type of situation causes. Being a friend is different, but being a Knight in Shining Armor will only get you hurt.

 

[LadyBlu]

Here are just three of the laws relating to your ??.. the one at the bottom should give you all the info you need though.
You can also search on your own at:

http://www.alllaw.com/state_law_search/arizona/


13-1404. Sexual abuse; classifications

A. A person commits sexual abuse by intentionally or knowingly engaging in sexual contact with any person fifteen or more years of age without consent of that person or with any person who is under fifteen years of age if the sexual contact involves only the female breast.

B. Sexual abuse is a class 5 felony unless the victim is under fifteen years of age in which case sexual abuse is a class 3 felony punishable pursuant to section 13-604.01.
13-3623. Child or vulnerable adult abuse; emotional abuse; classification; exception; definitions

A. In this section, unless the context otherwise requires:

1. "Abuse", when used in reference to a child, means abuse as defined in section 8- 201, except for those acts in the definition which are declared unlawful by another statute of this title and, when used in reference to a vulnerable adult, means:

(a) Intentional infliction of physical harm.

(b) Injury caused by criminally negligent acts or omissions.

(c) Unlawful imprisonment, as described in section 13-1303.

(d) Sexual abuse or sexual assault.

2. "Child", "youth" or "juvenile" means an individual who is under eighteen years of age.

3. "Emotional abuse" means a pattern of ridiculing or demeaning the vulnerable adult, making derogatory remarks to the vulnerable adult, verbally harassing the vulnerable adult or threatening to inflict physical or emotional harm on the vulnerable adult.

4. "Physical injury" means the impairment of physical condition and includes but shall not be limited to any skin bruising, pressure sores, bleeding, failure to thrive, malnutrition, dehydration, burns, fracture of any bone, subdural hematoma, soft tissue swelling, injury to any internal organ or any physical condition which imperils health or welfare.

5. "Serious physical injury" means physical injury which creates a reasonable risk of death, or which causes serious or permanent disfigurement, or serious impairment of health or loss or protracted impairment of the function of any bodily organ or limb.

6. "Vulnerable adult" means an individual who is eighteen years of age or older and who is unable to protect himself from abuse, neglect or exploitation by others because of a mental or physical impairment.

B. Under circumstances likely to produce death or serious physical injury, any person who causes a child or vulnerable adult to suffer physical injury or, having the care or custody of such child or vulnerable adult, who causes or permits the person or health of such child or vulnerable adult to be injured or who causes or permits such child or vulnerable adult to be placed in a situation where person or health is endangered is guilty of an offense as follows:

1. If done intentionally or knowingly, the offense is a class 2 felony and if the victim is under fifteen years of age it is punishable pursuant to section 13-604.01.

2. If done recklessly, the offense is a class 3 felony.

3. If done with criminal negligence, the offense is a class 4 felony.

C. Under circumstances other than those likely to produce death or serious physical injury to a child or vulnerable adult, any person who causes a child or vulnerable adult to suffer physical injury or abuse or, having the care or custody of such child or vulnerable adult, who causes or permits the person or health of such child or vulnerable adult to be injured or who causes or permits such child or vulnerable adult to be placed in a situation where its person or health is endangered is guilty of an offense as follows:

1. If done intentionally or knowingly, the offense is a class 4 felony.

2. If done recklessly, the offense is a class 5 felony.

3. If done with criminal negligence, the offense is a class 6 felony.

D. A person who intentionally or knowingly engages in emotional abuse of a vulnerable adult who is a patient or resident in any setting in which health care, health-related services or assistance with one or more of the activities of daily living is provided or, having the care or custody of such vulnerable adult, who intentionally or knowingly subjects or permits the vulnerable adult to be subjected to emotional abuse is guilty of a class 6 felony.

E. This section does not apply to a health care provider as defined in section 36- 3201 who permits a patient to die or the patient's condition to deteriorate by not providing health care if that patient refuses that care directly or indirectly through a health care directive as defined in section 36-3201, through a surrogate pursuant to section 36-3231 or through a court appointed guardian as provided for in title 14, chapter 5, article 3.

F. This section does not apply to a vulnerable adult who is being furnished spiritual treatment through prayer alone and who would not otherwise be considered to be abused, neglected or endangered if medical treatment were being furnished.


13-1405. Sexual conduct with a minor; classifications

A. A person commits sexual conduct with a minor by intentionally or knowingly engaging in sexual intercourse or oral sexual contact with any person who is under eighteen years of age.

B. Sexual conduct with a minor who is under fifteen years of age is a class 2 felony and is punishable pursuant to section 13-604.01. Sexual conduct with a minor who is at least fifteen years of age is a class 6 felony. Sexual conduct with a minor who is at least fifteen years of age is a class 2 felony if the person is the minor's parent, stepparent, adoptive parent, legal guardian or foster parent and the convicted person is not eligible for suspension of sentence, probation, pardon or release from confinement on any basis except as specifically authorized by section 31-233, subsection A or B until the sentence imposed has been served or commuted.