Child sexual abuse allegations

[tsmommy]

What is the name of your state? I live in KY

I hope this is the right place to post this. I'm 24. I was sexually abused on a regular basis 3-5 times a week by a boy 4-5 years older than me from the time I was 5 through 9. I don't mean just touched but actual penetration. I know he knew what he was doing was wrong because I remember him telling me to keep it a secret. I never told anyone because at first I wasn't old enough to know what he was doing to me was wrong. Then when I finally realized what rape/sex/molestation was I was embarassed and I was afraid everyone would know and no one would care. I didn't tell my parents because I was afraid it would upset them to the point my father would just shoot this kid. His family was an extremely religious family. When I put a stop to him molesting me he told me that if I told no one would believe me since his family is in a local church and my family wasn't religious. And he said "no one will believe a girl whos dad isn't saved and drinks over someone like me". So I kept it in. Until I was 18 then I couldn't deal with it any loger and started seeing a psychiatrist. I'm finally ready to speak up but I'm afraid it's too late. The person who molested me is of course a man now, he has married a woman who previously had two daughters and they have had one together. I sometimes wonder if he has done anything to those girls. The reason I know this is because he was a neighbor and his parents still live in the community. This affects my life. I think about this every day. I'm mad and sad and I'm terribly scared someone may do this to my son. I think more scared that the average mother.

Is there anything I can do? Is it too late to bring up any charges or is this a civil matter. Since he was a minor too does it even matter? I don't want any money. I just want him to know he can't get away with what he did to me and I want his family to know what kind of person he is. And I want to make sure his current wife knows what he did.

 

[Shay-Pari'e]

K-Dar

Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 2

court ordered medical ins. problem

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What is the name of your state? wv

My husband has a support order that states he is to provide medical insurance on his other kid when it becomes available to him through an employers group health or labor union. He gave the judge a letter from his employer at the hearing stating they offer family coverage. So in the child support order it also states my husband has the ability to obtain medical insurance.

He just talked to his human resources rep and she said that the family medical insurance his employer offers only allows 3 people. Himself and 2 dependants. Well he has myself and our child on the insurance. If he wants to add his other kid he has to pay 120.00 extra a month. Which is more than 5 percent of his income and the cour order states he doesn't have to provide insurance if the insurance cost for his child is over 5 percent.

My concerns with this is that could a judge make him cancel my insurance and put his other child on his insurance in my place since there is a court order. Because I'm a stay at home mom. I don't want to leave my child in the care of other people. But if my husband can't carry me on his insurance I would have to find a job with insurance. And those are hard to find where we live. We cannot afford to add an extra dependant to his insurance at the cost of 120.00 extra a month.

Also we suspect his kid has a medical card since it's mother told the judge this during the hearing. His medical insurance company will not allow a child currently covered by a medical card or any other insurance to be added to the policy. The insurance company also say my husband has 30 days from the time the child gets off the medical card to enroll it or they will not allow it to be put on his insurance policy. Since there is a court order do the insurance companies rules matter? I didn't think they did.

We don't know his childs address. Since we don't know where the mother or it lives. And his caseworker won't tell him. The insurance company told him there was no way they could add a dependant if he didn't know their address anyway. And his caseworker won't tell the insurance company the mothers address.

Could someone answer all four of my questions. Preferrably one at a time. Thanks.

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Last edited by tsmommy : Today at 04:37 PM.

 

[tsmommy]

K-Dar

Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 2

court ordered medical ins. problem

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

What is the name of your state? wv

My husband has a support order that states he is to provide medical insurance on his other kid when it becomes available to him through an employers group health or labor union. He gave the judge a letter from his employer at the hearing stating they offer family coverage. So in the child support order it also states my husband has the ability to obtain medical insurance.

He just talked to his human resources rep and she said that the family medical insurance his employer offers only allows 3 people. Himself and 2 dependants. Well he has myself and our child on the insurance. If he wants to add his other kid he has to pay 120.00 extra a month. Which is more than 5 percent of his income and the cour order states he doesn't have to provide insurance if the insurance cost for his child is over 5 percent.

My concerns with this is that could a judge make him cancel my insurance and put his other child on his insurance in my place since there is a court order. Because I'm a stay at home mom. I don't want to leave my child in the care of other people. But if my husband can't carry me on his insurance I would have to find a job with insurance. And those are hard to find where we live. We cannot afford to add an extra dependant to his insurance at the cost of 120.00 extra a month.

Also we suspect his kid has a medical card since it's mother told the judge this during the hearing. His medical insurance company will not allow a child currently covered by a medical card or any other insurance to be added to the policy. The insurance company also say my husband has 30 days from the time the child gets off the medical card to enroll it or they will not allow it to be put on his insurance policy. Since there is a court order do the insurance companies rules matter? I didn't think they did.

We don't know his childs address. Since we don't know where the mother or it lives. And his caseworker won't tell him. The insurance company told him there was no way they could add a dependant if he didn't know their address anyway. And his caseworker won't tell the insurance company the mothers address.

Could someone answer all four of my questions. Preferrably one at a time. Thanks.

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Last edited by tsmommy : Today at 04:37 PM.

Is it not possible a support order could be in another state. Lets just make an assumption I'm an idiot just posting whatever. Nice. You are a b*tch. Anyone that would try to make a mockery of my posts given the nature of my issue is just deliberately being a b*tch. Yes I know I just violated the rules of the board but I really don't care. The previous poster is out of line.

 

[Shay-Pari'e]

Is it not possible a support order could be in another state. Lets just make an assumption I'm an idiot just posting whatever. Nice. You are a b*tch. Anyone that would try to make a mockery of my posts given the nature of my issue is just deliberately being a b*tch. Yes I know I just violated the rules of the board but I really don't care. The previous poster is out of line.

LOL, I'm a B*tch? You are the one who doesn't want your hubby's child on his insurance because you would have to get a job.

No sympathy here.

 

[tsmommy]

Hmm could someone who actually knows the answer to this respond? Instead of someone who obviously has no clue what they are talking about.

And no I'm not complaining that I have to get a job. I'm complaining that I don't want my child to have to be raised by a stranger. Excuse me for being old fashioned and wanting to be with my child. But that has nothing to do with the issue I have with past abuse. And you are hijacking my thread.

 

[CavemanLawyer]

The statute of limitations for sexual assault crimes are very long so chances are you are still within the statute of limitations. Yes charges can absolutely still be filed under these types o circumstances even though they occurred while the person was a juvenile. The procedure is called certification and basically it is a procedure where they are tried as an adult. This can only be done if the juvenile was a certain age at the time, relative to the degree of the offense. You say that it happened up until you were 9 and that he may have been as old as 5 years older than you, placing him at 14 at the oldest when this was going on? Its very important to have all of this information to know whether charges can still be filed.

In order to answer your question I'd need to look at the laws of the state where the crime actually occurred. I know you say that you live in Kentucky but this happened a long time ago. Before I look into any further, did these crimes actually take place in Kentucky?

 

[tsmommy]

The statute of limitations for sexual assault crimes are very long so chances are you are still within the statute of limitations. Yes charges can absolutely still be filed under these types o circumstances even though they occurred while the person was a juvenile. The procedure is called certification and basically it is a procedure where they are tried as an adult. This can only be done if the juvenile was a certain age at the time, relative to the degree of the offense. You say that it happened up until you were 9 and that he may have been as old as 5 years older than you, placing him at 14 at the oldest when this was going on? Its very important to have all of this information to know whether charges can still be filed.

In order to answer your question I'd need to look at the laws of the state where the crime actually occurred. I know you say that you live in Kentucky but this happened a long time ago. Before I look into any further, did these crimes actually take place in Kentucky?

Yes the crimes took place in the state of KY. And yes I am positive he is four years older than I am. Also I have read lots of literature about the behavior of children who are sexually abused. Bouts of anger/depression, knowing about sexual acts beyond age appropriateness, lacking in school, nightmares, bladder infections frequently and complaining of pelvic pain. I had ALL of this plus others. My parents didn't make the connection and thought it was just something I was going through. The doctor always found bacterial bladder infections and attributed my pelvic discomfort to that. Could the fact that my mother remembers these things happening during the years i'm accusing this man of hurting me help my case any? Also I have had pelvic pain since then. I've seen urologists after being an adult and they said I had urethral scarring due to some type of trauma but they couldn't conclude what. I never told them about my abuse. Could that also be a claim? I am positive that I suffered trauma due to penetration.

 

[CavemanLawyer]

Wow, kooks like Kentucky law is pretty wide open on these issues. Under Kentucky Revised Code Chapter 500.050 (2) there is apparently no statute of limitations for any felony unless otherwise noted, and under all the various sex crimes listed Chapter 510, none seem to have specific limitations. Under Chapter 635.020 (7) an adult (over 18) can be tried as a youthful offender for any felony committed while under the age of 18. Looks like it doesn't matter exactly how old he was as long as he was under 18. Any of the things you claim he did would be felonies and can absolutely be filed against him even now.

As for the other things you mentioned, yes all of that is evidence that can be used against him. I would encourage any victim to report their abuse, so you should, but these delayed outcry sexual abuse cases are very difficult to prosecute.

 

[tsmommy]

Wow, kooks like Kentucky law is pretty wide open on these issues. Under Kentucky Revised Code Chapter 500.050 (2) there is apparently no statute of limitations for any felony unless otherwise noted, and under all the various sex crimes listed Chapter 510, none seem to have specific limitations. Under Chapter 635.020 (7) an adult (over 18) can be tried as a youthful offender for any felony committed while under the age of 18. Looks like it doesn't matter exactly how old he was as long as he was under 18. Any of the things you claim he did would be felonies and can absolutely be filed against him even now.

As for the other things you mentioned, yes all of that is evidence that can be used against him. I would encourage any victim to report their abuse, so you should, but these delayed outcry sexual abuse cases are very difficult to prosecute.

Thank you. I would like to see victims report abuse. Sometimes children don't know what to do. It's hard to believe but it's true. Adults need to be aware of the warning signs of child sexual abuse. I wish someone would have caught on and called a counselor or cps. I probably would have told. But thank you anway.