Daughter problem.

[Braniac]

Hi, I live in New York. I have the following question: My daughter who is 17 years old, ( 18 in May) got this new boyfriend. I am not really extatic about him at all, but she says that this holiday season she wants to spend the night with him. I am against it, but she says " I dont care". Is there anything I can do legally? - Please help.

 

[I AM ALWAYS LIABLE]

Hi, I live in New York. I have the following question: My daughter who is 17 years old, ( 18 in May) got this new boyfriend. I am not really extatic about him at all, but she says that this holiday season she wants to spend the night with him. I am against it, but she says " I dont care". Is there anything I can do legally? - Please help.

My response:

How old is the boyfriend?

IAAL

 

[HomeGuru]

And is he already married? Does he have a criminal record?
Does he work, if so, how much does he make and what is his credit score.................?

 

[I AM ALWAYS LIABLE]

And is he already married? Does he have a criminal record?
Does he work, if so, how much does he make and what is his credit score.................?

My response:

Credit score ?

Now, why would a mother, or her 17 year old, care about a "credit score" ?

All we have here is a boyfriend who wants to "score" with a 17 year old New York chick. That's a big enough problem as it is. I gotta tell you, I'd take an 80 year old broad from Arkansas before I'd get involved with some girl from New York any day of the week.

How ya doin' me Amigo ?

IAAL

 

[Braniac]

Reply

You guys were great in your answers. However, what can I do? The guy is 19, she says he does not force her, what can I do? I called police, they said they need to get a warrant, and I have to go to court! I mean, what can I do? Also I have a question, I said that if she will do that, I will change the locks and lock her out of the house, is that legal to say/do? Please help.

E-Mail : [email protected]

 

[Rochelle]

She is 17. She is still a minor. YOU are the adult. He can not remove her from your home, nor can he enter your home, without your permission. If you don't want her to spend the night with him, don't let her. You are responsible for her and you have the right and the authority to refuse to let her go.

I can just imagine what my father would have said to me. After I regained consciousness.

 

[Braniac]

WOW, I thought this was legal advice. PEOPLE, I am not hitting anyone, especially me daughter. He is not removing anyone, she is going herself! WHAT LEGAL things can I do?

 

[charlie neville]

sounds to me like...

...you're beating your head against a stone wall, and you'll feel much better when you quit. I don't know what the age of consent is in NY, and don't really care either. At 17 she is passed the point of you having much control over her life, and in a few months even that will be gone!

You don't like the guy! But she does, so let her make a mistake if in fact he is a mistake. I'd be more concerned that she practiced safe sex, didn't use drugs, and so on...if you get my point.

There, you have my 2 cents worth.

charlie

 

[Lokket]

I agree with Charlie, there is not much you really can do. My daughter is 19 now, she went through the same thing as your daughter is going through now, and I had to let her make her mistakes, no matter how hard it is, and I know from experience it is hard, and frustrating.

 

[kat1963]

I just went thru the same thing with my 17 year old son. I basically told him that I couldn't stop him, but he had 8 months, 3 days and 19 hours to find himself a place to live. He got mad and moved right out. Now 2 months later he's finding that this adult life he so craved isn't all that and a bag of chips like he thought it would be. Anyway, sometimes they need a wake up call. My house, my rules or hit the road. Oh and that Mommy curse "I hope you have children who do the same to you!" works as well, though he'll have many years to find that part out...I'll be giggling in the back ground.
KAT

 

[Braniac]

Thanks guys, I thought so. I just do not like him personally, but he does no drugs, does not even smoke! I mean, I am just scared she will leave soon, so I wanted to know if there is any legal thing I could do, because if not... I would rather let her do her own thing. Thanks.

 

[kat1963]

Oh alright...you know the part where I said about the Mommy curse working? Well, I grew up in NY and pulled a similar stunt many moons ago when I was 16. My parents did everything possible, even trying to have his parents arrested for contributing to the deliquency of a minor (he was 20). Turns out they couldn't do anything. I was back in a week, but my parents went thru h*ll. I have no idea if NY laws have changed since then....but pretty much, what are you going to do? If you try to keep them away from each other in my opinion just fuels the fire. My son broke up with his little..errr..lets just say probation, AA in foster care,17 year old girl friend within a few weeks. He still lives away, but calls every day..I think he misses his Mommy. Get her the depro shot or pills before she leaves now or when she turns 18 (can't be that far away, by the time it gets to court well, you know)....I wish I knew what else to tell you..I know what you are going thru.
Good Luck Hon.
KAT

 

[katbird]

Re: Daughter Problem

Dear Braniac,
I thought this might help you out with your daughter. I had a simialar situation with my 16 year old daughter. She met a boy at work who was 18. I really wanted her to have him over to met me and her step dad before they were to go out on a date, when she refused for whatever reason, I told her no dating. I even told the boy to stay away from her when he called the house. Well, one night she snuck out of the house to go with the boy and did not come in until 6:00 in the morning I called the poloice and she was charged with unruly and went to court. I was toild by the police that since she was a minor and him an adult that if they were to catch him with her and i hadn't gave my permission for them to be together, they could charge him with interference of custody. So therefore you do still have control over the situation. She is a minor child living in your home under your control and if you as her parent don't want her to see this boy you can charge her with unruly if she should leave with him and he can be charged with interference of custody. Now if you really don't want the police involved and have to go through the whole court thing you really are stuck with the situation as it is but I wouldn't change a thing I have done with regards to having the police involved as my daughter is a very rebellious teenager with 3 unrulys in 4 monthes and now she is facing 2 charges of theft?shoplifting all this has taken place since october. She has already been to juvenile court twice and will be going two more times. I really hope this helps you. Thanks and Good luck Momto5kids