Daughter's Phone Being Stolen

[jmvd91198]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?
Wisconsin

I have an x-wife. She has a current boyfriend that gives us both a lot of grief. Unfortunately there isn't much I can do about how my kids are treated or what they are subject to over there, I've come to realize I have little control.

However, my daughter told me today that he's been taking my daughter's phone. My X does not have one, and he gets ticked off when she calls me. on her phone, so he takes hers and has threatened to smash it if her mom is going to be using it to call me. I don't care if it doesn't seem like a big deal to other people, and I'm sure that is how the cops will act if I call them, but it is a big deal to me, and as it certainly seems like it can't be legal to take the phone, it is one of few things I can legal effect maybe.

My daughter is 10 by the way, so he is taking a phone from a 10 year old girl because he is cool like that I guess. He ends up giving it back always, but I personally don't care, he has no right to touch her phone, that is the only way I can stay in contact with her or her mom. We share them 50/50 by the way.

If I call about it will they warn him, and if it happens again can I press charges? It is crap and me just telling the guy to not touch her stuff will not work, it will have to come from the cops.What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?

 

[CourtClerk]

Leave the child's phone at home when she goes to visit her mother. Easy peasy.

 

[jmvd91198]

She kind of has to have a phone though. Her mom and her don't have one otherwise, and when you have kids living at 2 different homes, you have to be contacting eachother. While I know there might not be anything legally, it isn't right that I would just not send a phone cause her mom's boyfriend steals it all the time

If someone kept taking my phone against my will and threatened to break it, I certainlly wouldn't just stop using it.

I have nothing against their mother BTW. She does what she can given the situation she got herself into. I know she sticks up for our kids as much as she can, but there is only so much she can do. He's done the same thing with her car before (taking it away from her). He follows her and gets into the car when she has to go and won't get out. Short of calling the cops she can't do anything about that though, and that is the one thing she doesn't ever do, which limits her options obviously.

But when he starts physically messing with my kids stuff, there has to be something I can do I would think.

 

[CourtClerk]

No one HAS to have a cell phone. There are millions of people who don't HAVE cell phones, and miraculously, they survive.

If there is an emergency, they can go to the nearest phone. They can use a neighbors. If boyfriend is taking the phone, then she isn't using it anyway. So what's the difference.

You have 2 options. Leave the phone at your house, or put up with mom allowing her boyfriend to take it. You can't dictate what goes on in someone else's house. Mom has options too that she's not exercising. She can leave him. She doesn't want to and there's nothing you can do about that either.

So raise your blood pressure about the stupid phone or leave it at your house.

 

[CdwJava]

The other alternative might be to get the custody and visitation orders modified to reflect that mom and children have access to a phone when the children are there so that you can reasonably contact them. That would require mom to comply with it, and if she doesn't have a phone, and if she lets boyfriend take the phone, you'd have grounds to seek a revocation of the visitation.

Sounds like mom has some personal issues in her life she needs to resolve.

Absent some law otherwise, if mom allows her boyfriend to take her child's phone (ostensibly as discipline or whatever) then it is likely permissible. If it is a phone you paid for, then his breaking it might result in a small claims action against him - and MAYBE a vandalism charge.

 

[CourtClerk]

The other alternative might be to get the custody and visitation orders modified to reflect that mom and children have access to a phone when the children are there so that you can reasonably contact them. That would require mom to comply with it, and if she doesn't have a phone, and if she lets boyfriend take the phone, you'd have grounds to seek a revocation of the visitation.

I'm going to disagree slightly with that only because you have to move heaven and hell to have visitation revoked. I can't see a judge anywhere revoking visitation for lack of a phone. That'd be a new one.

 

[jmvd91198]

Nah, I wouldn't wanna take custody over something stupid. You are correct though she is required to have a phone. That is actually in the standard write ups that they do if my memory serves.

But the boyfriend is taking the phone BECAUSE they are using it. If I took your car or your phone cause you weren't using it at the time, that would be a problem for you I think. I'm pretty sure it would be a problem for anyone. Obviously there are joyriding laws so the car is not the same difference, but your phone or any other lesser porperty of yours would be.

I'm not defending her, as these are her choices, but would point out she can't PHYSCIALLY stop him, and words don't work either. The point being that she hasn't been able to get him to stop either. And I wouldn't have a problem with the phone being taken by their momther temporarily as punishment. He is taking it from them because they are fighting.

When my daughter comes home crying because a grown up is taking her stuff, its kind of a problem.

 

[CourtClerk]

If I took your car or your phone cause you weren't using it at the time, that would be a problem for you I think.

You can't compare ME, an adult to a 10 year old child.

I pay for my car. I pay for my phone. The car and the phone BOTH are in my name. My child's phone gets taken away, against his will all the time. By me, by my mother if she feels appropriate, by my sister if she feels appropriate, by my step mother, by the school, by his father.... all against his will. I'm not writing on an internet forum about it. I deal with the issue. If the issue can't be dealt with, he doesn't get the phone and he's still alive to talk about it.

 

[jmvd91198]

Sweet, so I can take kid's stuff, because they aren't people. And someone does pay for the phone, me.

I asked for some objective advice on whether there is a law or not. And no, you aren't writing on the internet asking for a simple law based answer to a question, your wasting your time on the internet flaming someone who is. I guess that is way better.

 

[CourtClerk]

Sweet, so I can take kid's stuff, because they aren't people.

Who said they aren't people? If you're insinuating that I did, then this is the moment where you copy and paste where I said that. Are you ALWAYS this dramatic and... feminine about your outlook on things? You sound like you're having a tantrum because someone took YOUR phone away from you. Maybe you need a timeout.

And yes, if you have permission from that child's parent to take their things away, then go right on ahead. This child's MOTHER is giving her boyfriend permission to take away the phone. If you don't want the phone taken away, then don't send it over there. Once again, easy peasy.

You still haven't answered the question. If he's TAKING the phone, HOW IS SHE USING IT? She's not? Oh, then I guess it's safe to say it would be used just as much if she left it at your house.

 

[jmvd91198]

"...This child's MOTHER is giving her boyfriend permission to take away the phone."

" but would point out she can't PHYSCIALLY stop him, and words don't work either. The point being that she hasn't been able to get him to stop either."

At least read if you plan to rant. SHE is not taking it. She IS NOT giving him permission to take it. She doesn't want him to take the phone either. Are you entirely clear now?

You are insuating they don't have the same rights, because you are continuing the chain of logic that he can take their phone and we should all get over it when I've made it pretty clear I think that he is being told not to, by everyone, Mother and child. You most certainly did suggest that their rights are different than YOUR rights, I could copy and paste that now couldn't I? I am not talking about their parents school or sister taking the phone. It is someone with no right to take it. Clear now?

"My child's phone gets taken away, against his will all the time. By me, by my mother if she feels appropriate, by my sister if she feels appropriate, by my step mother, by the school, by his father.... all against his will."

You typed that after I already established the situation was not like that, so you are either willing extending this to the mother's boyfriend who is having a fit over nothing to do with the kids taking it, or if not they simply don't have rights when its anyone I guess.

He doesn't have permission, already said that. You keep referencing situations and people that aren't even in this scenario man.

"You still haven't answered the question. If he's TAKING the phone, HOW IS SHE USING IT? She's not?"

You didn't ask it before so that is why I didn't answer it. Though I already said he takes it for awhile and eventually gives it back. When she doesn't have it she can't call when she is trying to and does not have use of the phone, neither does the mother even when they ask for it back. She is using it when she can, but not when he is taking it against her and my X's will. Thats a very simple concept I think, I don't understand what you don't get about that.

And you are gettin way more bent outta shape here than me budy.

 

[CdwJava]

I'm going to disagree slightly with that only because you have to move heaven and hell to have visitation revoked. I can't see a judge anywhere revoking visitation for lack of a phone. That'd be a new one.

That's why I suggested a modification to mandate some means to communicate with the child while on visitation. As the OP mentioned that even MOM does not have a phone, if the child does not have a phone then dad would have no means
to speak to the child or even confirm transport arrangements. Communications is a common component of most custody orders in my experience.

Then, if that component is NOT adhered to, THEN you move to either rescind or limit visitation until it is complied with. Remember, failing to comply with a court order (the visitation) can be a crime (PC 166(a)(4)).

 

[CdwJava]

Sweet, so I can take kid's stuff, because they aren't people. And someone does pay for the phone, me.

You as a parent (or your child's mother, and by extension her boyfriend) CAN reasonably restrict or limit access to things for most any reason they choose. They do NOT legally have to permit her access to the phone absent some court order to that effect.

If you buy my son a computer so you can chat with him, I am in no way obligated to allow him to use it. I can even take it out of his room.

If the boyfriend BREAKS a phone YOU paid for, you might have a small claims action against him, and you MIGHT have a vandalism charge as well, but that's iffy. I suspect the police would see that as a civil matter, but laws vary by state.

 

[CourtClerk]

She IS NOT giving him permission to take it. She doesn't want him to take the phone either. Are you entirely clear now?

No, are YOU entirely clear? If she doesn't STOP him and I don't care WHAT means she uses, she is giving him permission to do it. I don't care if she jumps in front of him, grabs the phone back and gives it to her, chews him a new a**hole for acosting her child, packs her bag and leaves or threatens him with a bat. If she isn't STOPPING the behavior, she is ALLOWING the behavior. Period. Point blank.

You typed that after I already established the situation was not like that, so you are either willing extending this to the mother's boyfriend who is having a fit over nothing to do with the kids taking it, or if not they simply don't have rights when its anyone I guess.

Kids DON'T have the same rights as adults. My child can't drive (even though he thinks he can), he can't vote, he can't drink alcohol, he can't smoke, he can't leave the house without permission, he MUST go to school (because the law says children have to - adults don't). I can go on and on about what kids can't do that adults can, but maybe you let your kids do whatever they want.
He doesn't have permission, already said that. You keep referencing situations and people that aren't even in this scenario man.

"You still haven't answered the question. If he's TAKING the phone, HOW IS SHE USING IT? She's not?"You didn't ask it before so that is why I didn't answer it.

My second post included the statement

If boyfriend is taking the phone, then she isn't using it anyway. So what's the difference.

Genius. You're useless.