Does this qualify as blackmail?

[fstep2]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? NY

So I went out with this guy, we weren't clicking so I left without saying anything half way through the date. The next day he texted me saying he wants me to pay him half of what he spent on me ($104 drinks, cab, and tickets to a show) or he will and I quote "have his very talented graphic designers go to work on my photos". The way I took it is he'll have some stupid crap done to my pictures and post them where I really don't want them to be. Does this qualify as blackmail or extorshion or anything?

 

[Ohiogal]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? NY

So I went out with this guy, we weren't clicking so I left without saying anything half way through the date. The next day he texted me saying he wants me to pay him half of what he spent on me ($104 drinks, cab, and tickets to a show) or he will and I quote "have his very talented graphic designers go to work on my photos". The way I took it is he'll have some stupid crap done to my pictures and post them where I really don't want them to be. Does this qualify as blackmail or extorshion or anything?

Maybe. But why were you so immature as to leave without saying anything? YOu couldn't be an adult and state that this wasn't working? Oh you had to act like a child and sneak out. Nice. Don't date unless you can be mature.

 

[swalsh411]

I would pay him half. You ditched him. You didn't even have it in you to say "I'm sorry but this isn't working out and I have to go". Karma says you owe him the money.

Attn any single people reading this: Women/Men like the OP are why you should never go big on a first date. Starbucks is inexpensive and a walk in the park is free. Blowing $104 on a first date is stupid.

 

[commentator]

I wouldn't give this jerk a nickel. Threatening to have his "very talented staff" create a porno photo of you is certainly a threat. I would consider filing a charge or talking to my local law enforcement about this. He could very quickly evolve into a stalker. The name of the game is that someone who asks the other party out is paying, and if he gave out so much of a bad vibe that you cut and ran very early, instead of going back in and announcing that you were leaving, then he isn't owed a dime in my opinion. And whatever aspects of "fair play" or karma that might have been around to expect you to pay for half of the meal vanished the moment he threatened you.

 

[quincy]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? NY

. . . . he will and I quote "have his very talented graphic designers go to work on my photos". The way I took it is he'll have some stupid crap done to my pictures and post them where I really don't want them to be. Does this qualify as blackmail or extorshion or anything?

What photos?

You really have no legal recourse unless or until the guy you ditched doctors photos of you and publishes them online*. The mature thing to do is pay for your half of the date ($52), apologize to the guy, and your problem is solved for far less than it will cost you to consult with an attorney on the matter (although consulting with an attorney in your area is always an option).


*edit to add: Any legal action possible would depend on how the photos were doctored and where they were published - drawing a mustache and glasses on your photo and sticking the photos on a Facebook page would not support a suit.

 

[Just Blue]

Px Hx is very "interesting".

 

[calatty]

It is blackmail, but law enforcement won't do anything about it at this point. You do not owe him a dime. Presumably he volunteered to pay for the date, and there was no deal that you would do anything in return for him paying. If you pay him back, you will be implying that you were supposed to have performed from services for the money. It sounds like this guy totally deserved you walking out on the date.

 

[eerelations]

It is blackmail, but law enforcement won't do anything about it at this point. You do not owe him a dime. Presumably he volunteered to pay for the date, and there was no deal that you would do anything in return for him paying. If you pay him back, you will be implying that you were supposed to have performed from services for the money. It sounds like this guy totally deserved you walking out on the date.

calatty you are wrong on so many counts, I am ashamed and embarassed on your behalf.

If the date sued OP, the date would probably win half the date money. And based on the OP's rude, jerky and loser behaviour, the date would probably get court costs too.

And calatty, you really should read at least some of OP's posting history before you continue to take her side. The history may change your mind somewhat about her.

 

[Willlyjo]

calatty you are wrong on so many counts, I am ashamed and embarassed on your behalf.

If the date sued OP, the date would probably win half the date money. And based on the OP's rude, jerky and loser behaviour, the date would probably get court costs too.

And calatty, you really should read at least some of OP's posting history before you continue to take her side. The history may change your mind somewhat about her.

It is laughable that you think the date can recover half of the 'date money' by suing the OP. This post of yours is very inaccurate. Granted, the OP was totally ridiculous for leaving without telling her date that she wasn't up to continuing on with the date, but any expenses provided by the guy who asked the OP out, were purely voluntary and are unrecoverable.

 

[quincy]

There are some presumptions and assumptions made in this thread - and very little posted by fstep2 to support them.

There is also little to support the statement saying that a threat of doctoring photos is blackmail. Blackmail is an unlawful demand of money or property under threat to do bodily harm, to injure property, to accuse of a crime, or to expose disgraceful defects. What fstep has described does not sound like blackmail.

When photos are doctored, more common than a criminal action would be a civil action (possibly invasion of privacy false light or invasion of privacy disclosure of private facts, possibly defamation. . . ). But it really depends on the type of photos and exactly how the photos are doctored and other factors (the age of the person photographed can make a difference, for instance).

While it is generally silly to go to court over $52, the costs incurred by fstep's ditched date could be recoverable, depending on facts not disclosed (such as if there were an oral agreement made between the date and fstep on the drinks/taxi/tickets purchase).

fstep2, if you could return to this thread to answer a few questions and provide more facts (like, for example, what photos?), it would be appreciated.

 

[Willlyjo]

There are some presumptions and assumptions made in this thread - and very little posted by fstep2 to support them.

There is also little to support the statement saying that a threat of doctoring photos is blackmail. Blackmail is an unlawful demand of money or property under threat to do bodily harm, to injure property, to accuse of a crime, or to expose disgraceful defects. What fstep has described does not sound like blackmail.

When photos are doctored, more common than a criminal action would be a civil action (possibly invasion of privacy false light or invasion of privacy disclosure of private facts, possibly defamation. . . ). But it really depends on the type of photos and exactly how the photos are doctored and other factors (the age of the person photographed can make a difference, for instance).

While it is generally silly to go to court over $52, the costs incurred by fstep's ditched date could be recoverable, depending on facts not disclosed (such as if there were an oral agreement made between the date and fstep on the drinks/taxi/tickets purchase).

fstep2, if you could return to this thread to answer a few questions and provide more facts (like, for example, what photos?), it would be appreciated.

When a guy asks a chick out for a date, he pays for it. The chances there was a verbal agreement that would allow them to share expenses is miniscule. The Op in this thread certainly isn't talking about 'going dutch' on her date with this guy, so it certainly makes any posts reflecting that the OP's date should recover any costs as a result of the OP walking out on him, pretty lousy advice. The Op doesn't owe anything to her date for walking out on him, period. It is pretty immature advice to say she does.

 

[LdiJ]

When a guy asks a chick out for a date, he pays for it. The chances there was a verbal agreement that would allow them to share expenses is miniscule. The Op in this thread certainly isn't talking about 'going dutch' on her date with this guy, so it certainly makes any posts reflecting that the OP's date should recover any costs as a result of the OP walking out on him, pretty lousy advice. The Op doesn't owe anything to her date for walking out on him, period. It is pretty immature advice to say she does.

I agree. It wasn't very nice of her to walk out on him, but she had no "contract" with him.

 

[quincy]

When a guy asks a chick out for a date, he pays for it. The chances there was a verbal agreement that would allow them to share expenses is miniscule. The Op in this thread certainly isn't talking about 'going dutch' on her date with this guy, so it certainly makes any posts reflecting that the OP's date should recover any costs as a result of the OP walking out on him, pretty lousy advice. The Op doesn't owe anything to her date for walking out on him, period. It is pretty immature advice to say she does.

You are making assumptions, little Willly, and you are wrong, once again, about the law.

And I wasn't aware you had communicated with fstep, LdiJ, and know more than what has been posted in this thread. Or is your post another assumption?

Attention calatty: You just mentioned in another thread the death of this forum due to idiots posting who don't know the law. I present to you Exhibit A, nicely quoted for you above.

 

[LdiJ]

You are making assumptions, little Willly, and you are wrong, once again, about the law.

And I wasn't aware you had communicated with fstep, LdiJ, and know more than what has been posted in this thread. Or is your post another assumption?

Attention calatty: You just mentioned in another thread the death of this forum due to idiots posting who don't know the law. I present to you Exhibit A, nicely quoted for you above.

Quincy...how often do you think that someone invited on a first date does or says anything that represents a "contract"? Seriously?

 

[quincy]

Quincy...how often do you think that someone invited on a first date does or says anything that represents a "contract"? Seriously?

fstep2 said: "So I went out with this guy, we weren't clicking. . . "

Where does it say that the guy "invited" fstep on a "first date?" You are assuming this was a first date and that the guy purchased for fstep both drinks and tickets for this date (and provided taxi transportation).

What if this guy was able to get a good price on tickets and fstep said, "Great. Pick a ticket up for me and I'll pay you back," and they decided to go to the play/movie/ball game/whatever together and split the cost of a taxi?

And where do the photos come in that are going to be doctored? What kind of photos? How did the guy get them?

Seriously, you and others have made assumptions that may or may not accurately reflect the facts.

There is just too much that is NOT known to give any definitive answers here. There IS enough information to say that fstep can probably pay the guy half of the costs incurred, as he has demanded, to avoid future problems. That appears to be the most mature action to take to resolve the issue and avoid doctored photos and potentially costly legal actions (which may or may not be winnable, depending on all sorts of facts and factors not disclosed to us here).