Emergency Protection/Restraining Order

[Jamielly]

What is the name of your state? Texas



I had an incident this weekend where my live in boyfriend was very drunk and pushed me around. I wasn't physically hurt in the end, but my sister who was listening in on a cell phone, called the cops. He was belligerant and at one point telling me he was going to kill me and for obvious reasons, she called 911.

They arrested him for Assault of a Family member and, what they told me, was Threats to a family member. I found out today, they actually charged him with Terroristic Threats to Family members, though I'm not sure of the difference. He has been in jail since (Saturday night, it is now Monday evening) and I tried to call to see if the charges could be dropped. I know the Assault charge is something they will charge him with w/ or w/out me wanting to press charges, but the kicker is I'm also 4 mths pregnant. They issued a restraining order that says we cannot be in contact for 61 days after he gets out and the emergency proteciton order so that he is in for an additional 24 hrs After his bail is posted so they can contact me. (he has already served the required time for the assault charge-12 hrs)

This decision on whether or not I go through with pressing charges should be up to me since the actions were against me, right? The person I spoke to at the jail said they couldn't stop the charges right now, based on what they already knew, and they would have to investigate. This is not something that has happened before and something I'm sure wouldn't if he was to stop drinking. But based on the fact they know he said these things, and I'm not denying them, can they continue with the charges, even if I say I do not want to continue to press them? What can I also do about the restraining order?

Whether or not I stay with him, we are having a child together, and I can't shut him out of the baby's life even if I do shut him out of mine.

 

[ThunderAngel]

Be Wise, Be Strong.

My daughter has just gone through a similar situation. In her case, her husband actually broke her arm and tailbone, he was using her as a basketball on the pavement. Statictists show, that he will NOT stop and the verbal abuse will change to physical abuse. You are pregnant and one he starts hitting you you could miscarry and loose your child or life. It takes on the average of 7 times of abuse (verbal and physical) before a woman will get smart and terminate the situation. His drinking is NOT going to stop until he reaches 'his' bottom. Your child would be better having two parents in separate homes than seeing two in the same home abusing each other. The county and state CAN press charges without you, it is out of your hands on that aspect. THEY filed charges and can follow through. The protection order is important. Currently he will say anything to get out of jail, but once he does, you are in danger again, so is your baby. Do not allow him back in your home without at least 6 months sober. His time in jail right now is helping him get through the withdraws of alcohol and the longer he is there the greater the chances are that he will want to stay off the drinking.

What is the name of your state? Texas



I had an incident this weekend where my live in boyfriend was very drunk and pushed me around. I wasn't physically hurt in the end, but my sister who was listening in on a cell phone, called the cops. He was belligerant and at one point telling me he was going to kill me and for obvious reasons, she called 911.

They arrested him for Assault of a Family member and, what they told me, was Threats to a family member. I found out today, they actually charged him with Terroristic Threats to Family members, though I'm not sure of the difference. He has been in jail since (Saturday night, it is now Monday evening) and I tried to call to see if the charges could be dropped. I know the Assault charge is something they will charge him with w/ or w/out me wanting to press charges, but the kicker is I'm also 4 mths pregnant. They issued a restraining order that says we cannot be in contact for 61 days after he gets out and the emergency proteciton order so that he is in for an additional 24 hrs After his bail is posted so they can contact me. (he has already served the required time for the assault charge-12 hrs)

This decision on whether or not I go through with pressing charges should be up to me since the actions were against me, right? The person I spoke to at the jail said they couldn't stop the charges right now, based on what they already knew, and they would have to investigate. This is not something that has happened before and something I'm sure wouldn't if he was to stop drinking. But based on the fact they know he said these things, and I'm not denying them, can they continue with the charges, even if I say I do not want to continue to press them? What can I also do about the restraining order?

Whether or not I stay with him, we are having a child together, and I can't shut him out of the baby's life even if I do shut him out of mine.

 

[OhBullship]

This is going to be my standard answer to posts like this from now on:

If you want to stay with him you are going to have to learn to be a better punching bag. You might as well rough up that child of yours too because statistically she will grow up to be a punching bag herself.

If you want to live with this as$hole then you need to learn to keep your mouth shut when he hits you. You might as well buy duct tape for your daughters mouth so she can learn early enough not to talk either, since her adult relationships are likely to resemble yours.

If you continue in this relationship or one like it and you insist on keeping your child, you will want to thoroughly prepare her for the life you live. Besides taping her mouth shut and smacking her around occasionally you should change her name to Dumb ¢unt. If that name is not unique in your family you might try Stupid Bit¢h, although I get the impression there is already more than one female with that name in your lineage.

If you are uncomfortable doing these things to your daughter and you insist on being stupid enough to pursue this relationship would you please turn your child over to people who are capable of raising her? She deserves at least one parent who is smarter than a stump.

 

[Indiana Filer]

What is the name of your state? Texas



I had an incident this weekend where my live in boyfriend was very drunk and pushed me around. I wasn't physically hurt in the end, but my sister who was listening in on a cell phone, called the cops. He was belligerant and at one point telling me he was going to kill me and for obvious reasons, she called 911.

Your sister is trying to save your life. A friend was in a similar situation. Let me tell you her story:

Missy got married young and had a couple kids. Missy used to party, but she quit when she got pregnant with her oldest. her husband didn't quit however. Her husband would yell at her and push her around, especially when he was drinking or high.

Missy finally decided she was tired of getting yelled at and pushed around and left, hiding at her sister's house. Well, Darrell found her there, and proceded to drag her out of the house, cause he was going to take her home where she belonged, since she belonged to him. As he dragged her down the sidewalk, she said she didn't want to go, so he decided to pound some sense into her, using the sidewalk and her head.

Missy's sister had to shoot him to keep him from beating Missy to death in the front yard in front of their children. (BTW, the grand jury refused to press charges against Missy's sister, saying that she did what she had to do to save Missy's life.) Darrell died from the gun shot, but at least the victim (Missy) is still alive.

Those two little girls are still traumatized by seeing this happen.

Do you want to end up in the same situation as my friend? If he "pushes" you around now, it WILL GET WORSE in the future. I guarantee it. Do you really want your child to grow up thinking it's normal for daddy to beat the $hit out of mommy? Do you want to die and not raise your child? Do you want your child to get the $hit beat out of him/her because the child made daddy mad?

If you decide to stay, start planning for your medical expenses and funeral expenses now.

 

[Indiana Filer]

I wanted to add an old saying:

"The first time you get beat by your boyfriend, you're a victim. The second time, you're a volunteer."

 

[stealth2]

I wanted to add an old saying:

"The first time you get beat by your boyfriend, you're a victim. The second time, you're a volunteer."

I like that.