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  1. #1
    krisprice is offline Junior Member
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    Extortion/Blackmail...Need help!!

    What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? ID

    My daughter got herself into a mess over the past weekend. She has been involved in a relationship where she is abused, manipulated and controlled. She has been spending her entire paychecks to keep this individual happy. But she can't possibly keep up. In an effort to get away she moved to another town and has a new job lined up but has not yet been paid. She has been drinking excessively and in a drunken moment, took a friend's credit card and bought her boyfriend a pair of shoes he was requesting. Her friend confronted her the very next morning and she admitted what she had done. Initially the girl said she just wanted paid back and she would not file charges. She then joined forces with her parents who convinced her that everything she had done for my daughter in the past should now be billed to my daughter. She charged $150 on her friends card but they stated demanding she pay $650. They all claimed as soon as she paid the money this would all go away. Her father's exact words to me. This is all in text messages sent to my daughter from the girl as well. So due to the fear of having charges pressed against my daughter we gave into there demands and borrowed the money, all of it, not just the amount my daughter charged, to keep the girl from pressing charges. The money was given to the girl and she again stated this was the end of it she would not be pressing charges. Well, the very next day she started making additinal demands of my daughter, stating she needed to move, get into rehab, among other things, and is once again threatening to press charges. Can she do this? How long can she hold this over my daughter's head after she agreed it was done and all that money was paid to her. To me the entire situation felt like extortion but we wanted to protect our daughter and gave into their outrageous demands and now this. But it doesn't end there. The girl then proceeded to go to my daughter's new employer, gave them her name and phone number, told them what my daughter had done and then made up lies about my daughter being fired from previous jobs for stealing, 100% untrue. Her recent behavior is totally out of character for her and is a result of her sick relationship with the boyfriend. I'm not condoning what she did, it was criminal and she needs help. But the girl gave her word and is now once again making threats and making up lies to my daughter's new employer...Can she still press charges? What recourse can we take and is this girl not breaking the law at this point? Please help!!
    Last edited by krisprice; 07-10-2012 at 01:05 PM.
  2. #2
    Ohiogal is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by krisprice View Post
    What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? ID

    My daughter got herself into a mess over the past weekend. She has been involved in a relationship where she is abused, manipulated and controlled. She has been spending her entire paychecks to keep this individual happy. But she can't possibly keep up. In an effort to get away she moved to another town and has a new job lined up but has not yet been paid. She has been drinking excessively and in a drunken moment, took a friend's credit card and bought her boyfriend a pair of shoes he was requesting. Her friend confronted her the very next morning and she admitted what she had done. Initially the girl said she just wanted paid back and she would not file charges. She then joined forces with her parents who convinced her that everything she had done for my daughter in the past should now be billed to my daughter. She charged $150 on her friends card but they stated demanding she pay $650. They all claimed as soon as she paid the money this would all go away. Her father's exact words to me. This is all in text messages sent to my daughter from the girl as well. So due to the fear of having charges pressed against my daughter we gave into there demands and borrowed the money, all of it, not just the amount my daughter charged, to keep the girl from pressing charges. The money was given to the girl and she again stated this was the end of it she would not be pressing charges. Well, the very next day she started making additinal demands of my daughter, stating she needed to move, get into rehab, among other things, and is once again threatening to press charges. Can she do this? How long can she hold this over my daughter's head after she agreed it was done and all that money was paid to her. To me the entire situation felt like extortion but we wanted to protect our daughter and gave into their outrageous demands and now this. But it doesn't end there. The girl then proceeded to go to my daughter's new employer, gave them her name and phone number, told them what my daughter had done and then made up lies about my daughter being fired from previous jobs for stealing, 100% untrue. Her recent behavior is totally out of character for her and is a result of her sick relationship with the boyfriend. I'm not condoning what she did, it was criminal and she needs help. But the girl gave her word and is now once again making threats and making up lies to my daughter's new employer...Can she still press charges? What recourse can we take and is this girl not breaking the law at this point? Please help!!
    Your daughter doesn't have to do anything. However, the fact that she can be arrested and charged with a crime is something she needs to decide if she wants to risk. She should just own up to her behavior and crimes and take the punishment. Her current behavior is not the result of her relationship with her boyfriend -- it is a result of HER BAD DECISIONS and HER choices. Yes the girl can press charges. Did your steal from other employers? Was she fired from other jobs ever?

    If not, she can sue for defamation per se if she has money and time. You can't take any action however because your daughter is apparently an adult.

    Maybe you should let her be an adult and deal with her own decisions and the consequences thereof. Based on your post -- she is a thief with a substance problem.
    Parents should remember 3 things: Love your kids more than you hate your ex; when you have children the relationship with the other parent is until death; your children determine what type of nursing home you end up in.
    Nothing stated by me should be taken as giving you legal advice or forming an attorney/client relationship.

    Attorney-GAL in Ohio.

    I've removed the knife from my back, polished it, and will one day return it -- long after you think I have forgotten.
  3. #3
    justalayman is offline Senior Member
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    What recourse can we take and is this girl not breaking the law at this point? Please help!!
    If your daughter is still living with this person, she needs to leave. Once she does that, she needs to severe any communication with the girl. Then, if the girl continues to contact your daughters employer, your daughter needs to seek a restraining order restraining the girl from any harassing activities, which contacting your daughters employer without a valid cause would be.

    If she has actually paid the debts incurred, I doubt there will be any charges. Generally, in situations such as this, if the card holder does not file a report initially and simply accepts payment, it is seen as a the act was excused and essentially converts the use to a delayed permissive use. No guarantees but I would not expect to see any charges from the credit card incident.
  4. #4
    krisprice is offline Junior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ohiogal View Post
    Your daughter doesn't have to do anything. However, the fact that she can be arrested and charged with a crime is something she needs to decide if she wants to risk. She should just own up to her behavior and crimes and take the punishment. Her current behavior is not the result of her relationship with her boyfriend -- it is a result of HER BAD DECISIONS and HER choices. Yes the girl can press charges. Did your steal from other employers? Was she fired from other jobs ever?

    If not, she can sue for defamation per se if she has money and time. You can't take any action however because your daughter is apparently an adult.

    Maybe you should let her be an adult and deal with her own decisions and the consequences thereof. Based on your post -- she is a thief with a substance problem.
    She has NEVER been fired before. All of her previous employers have loved her. So the girl's statements are completely untrue. She does not have the resources to sue. She is broke as she just started her new job. I no what my daughter did was terrible I'm not excusing her behavior. As a parent I can't help but want to help her. I'm a felony parole officer so trust me I understand about consequences. My question was since the girl accepted payment and gave her word not to press charges, can she still press charges?
  5. #5
    krisprice is offline Junior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by justalayman View Post
    If your daughter is still living with this person, she needs to leave. Once she does that, she needs to severe any communication with the girl. Then, if the girl continues to contact your daughters employer, your daughter needs to seek a restraining order restraining the girl from any harassing activities, which contacting your daughters employer without a valid cause would be.

    If she has actually paid the debts incurred, I doubt there will be any charges. Generally, in situations such as this, if the card holder does not file a report initially and simply accepts payment, it is seen as a the act was excused and essentially converts the use to a delayed permissive use. No guarantees but I would not expect to see any charges from the credit card incident.
    She paid the debt back plus an additional $400 the girl demanded in order not to press charges. She has moved out but the girl still has a lot of her belongings. What is the best way to go about getting her things back without antagonizing the girl?
  6. #6
    Silverplum is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by krisprice View Post
    What is the best way to go about getting her things back without antagonizing the girl?
    That's not a legal question.
  7. #7
    Ohiogal is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by krisprice View Post
    She has NEVER been fired before. All of her previous employers have loved her. So the girl's statements are completely untrue. She does not have the resources to sue. She is broke as she just started her new job. I no what my daughter did was terrible I'm not excusing her behavior. As a parent I can't help but want to help her. I'm a felony parole officer so trust me I understand about consequences. My question was since the girl accepted payment and gave her word not to press charges, can she still press charges?
    Yes she can still file a criminal complaint.
    Parents should remember 3 things: Love your kids more than you hate your ex; when you have children the relationship with the other parent is until death; your children determine what type of nursing home you end up in.
    Nothing stated by me should be taken as giving you legal advice or forming an attorney/client relationship.

    Attorney-GAL in Ohio.

    I've removed the knife from my back, polished it, and will one day return it -- long after you think I have forgotten.
  8. #8
    justalayman is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by krisprice View Post
    My question was since the girl accepted payment and gave her word not to press charges, can she still press charges?
    It is not up to the girl to press charges. She can make a criminal complaint. It is up to the DA to determine if there will be any charges.
  9. #9
    krisprice is offline Junior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by justalayman View Post
    It is not up to the girl to press charges. She can make a criminal complaint. It is up to the DA to determine if there will be any charges.

    I see, so she can still file a complaint but your previous post would be a likely outcome?:

    "If she has actually paid the debts incurred, I doubt there will be any charges. Generally, in situations such as this, if the card holder does not file a report initially and simply accepts payment, it is seen as a the act was excused and essentially converts the use to a delayed permissive use. No guarantees but I would not expect to see any charges from the credit card incident."
  10. #10
    justalayman is offline Senior Member
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    that is my belief but it is obviously not binding on anybody.


    how long ago was the illegal use of the card discovered?
  11. #11
    krisprice is offline Junior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by justalayman View Post
    that is my belief but it is obviously not binding on anybody.


    how long ago was the illegal use of the card discovered?
    It happened this past weekend 07/07/12 and was discovered on 07/08/12. The money was paid back in full plus an extra $400 on the same day, 07/08/12.
  12. #12
    justalayman is offline Senior Member
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    It happened this past weekend 07/07/12 and was discovered on 07/08/12. The money was paid back in full plus an extra $400 on the same day, 07/08/12.
    and all the ensuing activity plus your daughter moving out happenend since Sunday? and in that you state the friend only made the demand she move yesterday.

    Initially the girl said she just wanted paid back and she would not file charges. She then joined forces with her parents who convinced her that everything she had done for my daughter in the past should now be billed to my daughter. She charged $150 on her friends card but they stated demanding she pay $650. They all claimed as soon as she paid the money this would all go away. Her father's exact words to me. This is all in text messages sent to my daughter from the girl as well. So due to the fear of having charges pressed against my daughter we gave into there demands and borrowed the money, all of it, not just the amount my daughter charged, to keep the girl from pressing charges. The money was given to the girl and she again stated this was the end of it she would not be pressing charges. Well, the very next day she started making additinal demands of my daughter, stating she needed to move, get into rehab, among other things, and is once again threatening to press charges. Can she do this? How long can she hold this over my daughter's head after she agreed it was done and all that money was paid to her. To me the entire situation felt like extortion but we wanted to protect our daughter and gave into their outrageous demands and now this. But it doesn't end there. The girl then proceeded to go to my daughter's new employer, gave them her name and phone number, told them what my daughter had done and then made up lies about my daughter being fired from previous jobs for stealing, 100% untrue. Her recent behavior is totally out of character for her and is a result of her sick relationship with the boyfriend. I'm not condoning what she did, it was criminal and she needs help. But the girl gave her word and is now once again making threats and making up lies to my daughter's new employer.
    so, we have since Monday sometime;

    illegal activity was discovered (how is unknown)
    offer of accepting payment in lieu of filing charges made and accepted
    sometime later girl spoke with parents who insisted daughter pays more money
    daughter speaks with you and somebody borrows money from somebody to pay the demand
    girl goes to daughters place of employment and speaks with them
    girl demand daughter move out
    daughter moves out
    more threats are made

    wow, that's been a busy 2 1/2 days


    that very recent timeline makes the likelihood of the DA pressing charges more possible. Still, given the acceptance of the payment, I believe the DA would be less inclined to file charges. No guarantees. If your daughter is on probation for anything, all bets are off.
  13. #13
    krisprice is offline Junior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by justalayman View Post
    and all the ensuing activity plus your daughter moving out happenend since Sunday? and in that you state the friend only made the demand she move yesterday.



    so, we have since Monday sometime;

    illegal activity was discovered (how is unknown)
    offer of accepting payment in lieu of filing charges made and accepted
    sometime later girl spoke with parents who insisted daughter pays more money
    daughter speaks with you and somebody borrows money from somebody to pay the demand
    girl goes to daughters place of employment and speaks with them
    girl demand daughter move out
    daughter moves out
    more threats are made

    wow, that's been a busy 2 1/2 days


    that very recent timeline makes the likelihood of the DA pressing charges more possible. Still, given the acceptance of the payment, I believe the DA would be less inclined to file charges. No guarantees. If your daughter is on probation for anything, all bets are off.

    I know, complicated story was trying to be brief with as many details as I could. My daughter never lived with her was just staying at her place and left a suitcase full of her belongings at the girl's house. They both came to our hometown for the weekend where they were staying with her parents. It all happened over the weekend. The charges Saturday and Sunday morning the girl checked her statement and confronted my daughter. She confessed. The girl then told her parents everything and the rest has transpired very quickly. We had to come up with the money the same day but did so. We have numerous text messages back and forth between the girl and my daughter stating that if the money was paid that day no charges would be filed and a final text saying thank you for paying me. The following Monday the girl started acting crazy again. No my daughter has no previous criminal record.
  14. #14
    Silverplum is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by krisprice View Post
    I know, complicated story was trying to be brief with as many details as I could. My daughter never lived with her was just staying at her place and left a suitcase full of her belongings at the girl's house. They both came to our hometown for the weekend where they were staying with her parents. It all happened over the weekend. The charges Saturday and Sunday morning the girl checked her statement and confronted my daughter. She confessed. The girl then told her parents everything and the rest has transpired very quickly. We had to come up with the money the same day but did so. We have numerous text messages back and forth between the girl and my daughter stating that if the money was paid that day no charges would be filed and a final text saying thank you for paying me. The following Monday the girl started acting crazy again. No my daughter has no previous criminal record.
    I'd "act crazy," too, if my "friend" stole my credit card. Don't put this on the victim of your daughter's crime.
  15. #15
    krisprice is offline Junior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Silverplum View Post
    I'd "act crazy," too, if my "friend" stole my credit card. Don't put this on the victim of your daughter's crime.

    I'm really not defending my daughter I'm so ashamed of her behavior. Just so much more than I can post here. They had a very long talk the same night and it was all resolved. The very next day the girl showed up at her new employer's and made the false accusations. She is the one that agreed to be paid and drop it.

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