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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jul 2007

    Falsely Accused of Domestic Battery


    I've been falsely accused of Domestic Violence and I need some help on how to build a defense against it. Here's my story. I and my fiancé went to a wedding reception at a local bar that she works at. I got to the reception late because of my job and my fiancé was really mad. She got extremely drunk and just started getting even madder. She got really mad again later in the evening because she thought I was checking out these girls. Which I seriously was not. When she gets drunk she's a totally different person. Her temper and jealousy gets very out of control. I didn't want to argue with her and she didn't want to leave so I went to my car to listen to the radio and fell asleep. Keep in mind I wasn't drinking myself because I had to work in the morning and I knew someone would have to drive home. I woke up to her and her friend beating on my window. They told me to come back in and she acted like nothing was wrong. So I went back in and she started getting mad again. She leaned up and whispered in my ear something like "I could have any guy here I want." Then laughed and bit my ear hard. I said "What the h*ll was that for?!" She said "Quit being a p*ssy. I didn't bite you that hard." So I got mad and went back to the car again. Well she finally came out to leave, but not before getting into a screaming match with 3 guys in front of the bar who she swears called her names, but I didn't hear them. I think in her drunken state she may have heard them as she walked by and thought they were talking about her. Finally she got back in the car, chewed me out for not defending her and then we drove home and she started getting mad at me again and cussing when we stepped in the house. So then she walked out the back door to smoke and I walked out the front, got in my car, and drove away. I went to some property my mom owns about 30min away and slept in my car. I turned my phone off so she wouldn't call me. The next day I drove home after she had left for work intending to get ready for an appointment I had for work and be gone before she got back, but then she got home early and acted as nothing was wrong. Which confused me, but she has had issues in the past of getting so drunk she doesn't remember arguing with me. Then I noticed she had a huge knot on the side of her face like she had been in a fight. I asked her about it and she refused to tell me saying it was embarrassing and she didn't want to talk about it. I kept asking and she told me to leave her alone about it. She didn't want to talk about it. I asked if she had left after I did last night. She said yes her friend picked her up and she stayed at her house all night. At this point I figured she had fallen when she was drunk and was just embarrassed to talk about it or got into a fight with some girl and was embarrassed because she got hit. I figured she would tell me sooner or later. I told her after the incident last night I didn't know if we were going to work. She said she was sorry and asked me if I would move back to Oklahoma (her home state) with her. She said she just wanted to be closer to her family, but wanted me with her. I said it might be best she moved back, we could work on our relationship and maybe talk about me moving there at a later date. She said she didn't think it would work that way. I said I thought it was the best way. So we are talking for about an hour or so, getting along well I might add, then the next thing I know the local police department is at our door. They see the knot on her face and arrest me for domestic battery. I tried to explain my story and they didn't care. They treated me like a piece of trash. They didn’t even read me my rights or buckle me in when they put me in back. They said there was a report filed that someone saw me punch her in the face around 4am at the bar. Which is impossible considering we left the bar around 2:30 and I never went back. She may have, but I didn't. Now I find out through friends that she's telling everybody that I hit her and I've done it before. This is untrue. I'm not a violent person. So I spent a weekend in jail and now I have this court date. Any ideas on how to build a good defense? Thank you in advance.


  2. #2
    Step 1: Hire a Good attorney. Don't expect any cooperation from the police. There is tremendous political pressure these days to arrest men based on an accusation. (Just watch Nancy Grace).

    Step 2: Find people who were at the party who are willing to testify to her condition. It would be very helpfull to locate the 3 men who she was arguing with.

    Step 3: Are there other people who can testify to her becoming abusive after drinking on other occasions?

    Step 4: Try to determine if she called your cell phone while you were out of the house. Did she leave voice messages? Does she have a cell phone? If so get a record of the bill which shows the calls she made. Does your home phone carrier itemize calls? If not, you will likely have to subpeona the records to see if she called your cell phone. It would be quite fortunate for you if can establish a time line based on the telephone records.

    Step 5: Insist on a follow up investigation by the police which, at a minimum, should include questioning people at the party. The requirement for a followup is typically determined by the local police policy; again, don't expect cooperation. Document your conversations. You may not get the followup, but at least you will create some doubt concerning the thoroughness of their investigation.

    Step 6: See Step 1......

    Good luck. I know exactly what you are going through; I'm in the middle of a similar situation.

    As far a reading you your rights... there is no requirement (at least in Maryland) to Mirandize you unless you are being questioned after your arrest.

  3. #3
    If the way you stated your story is true, get yourself an attorney, get yourself out of the legal issue and then get yourself out of this relationship.
    She clearly has alcohol issues and needs professional help.
    People that abuse the police and the legal system piss me off. It makes me mad that someone would lie about stuff like that. Especially when there are women out there that ARE being abused, but the police are instead tending to your drunk ass girlfreind.
    Good luck - I feel sorry for you.

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