harassing letters

[sickofpsychos]

Oklahoma. I am being sent harassing letters and possibly being physically stalked by a woman who feels she was scorned by me over four years ago. I had an affair with her husband, whom I worked for. She has sent two letters to date, but states she will continue sending them indefinitely. In the letters, she accuses me of being responsible for every problem she has ever had. It is evident in the letters that there is severe mental problems here. There are no physical threats yet, just threats to keep contacting me via letter to harass me. The letters go on and on (over eight pages) about things that happened long ago that I can't change. She feels I have no remorse. I have chosen to ignore her letters because I've been told not to communicate with stalkers; that it only make it worse. She even said in her last letter that she would not accept any communication from me, but she will keep writing her letters and there's nothing I can do about it.

I'm wondering if this constitutes stalking under Oklahoma law. It has caused me much emotional distress, sleepless nights, worry, anxiety, fear for safety, etc. I'm worried about what she will resort to next if her letter-writing tactics don't get her the results she's looking for. It seems the only thing that would make this woman think I've paid my dues is if I blew my head off.

She is a school principal and her husband is an attorney. I have thought about writing her a certified letter stating that if the harassment doesn't stop, I will contact the school board, the Bar Association, the police, file a restraining order, etc. I don't want to escalate this situation if there is a simple way to put a stop to it. I don't want to have to ruin anyone's career, but I can't take this any more. I am truly sorry about my part in what happened four years ago, but I can't undo the harm. Please help and don't judge me morally. I have forgiveness from God for what I've done and it won't happen again.

 

[charlie neville]

I dont' know...

...how the stalking or harassment laws in Oklahoma read, speak to the police about that.

If you'd rather not contact them at the moment you might try sending the letters back to her, unopened and unread.She obviously delights in knowing you've read what she had to say.

Be careful though, this might cause her to do something different, possibly more damaging or dangerous.

charlie

 

[sickofpsychos]

Thanks, Charlie. The first letter came as a total surprise and had no return address or name. She never even signs her name to the letters. The second one, she sent with a return address of "Smith" with some made-up address. I guess the post office won't let you send mail now without a return address, so she made one up. I don't even have an address to return them to, except her work and I'd rather not send them there for fear someone else would open them and read them, causing her embarrassment. I don't know where they live, because I've not cared to know where they moved.

 

[FKNA]

Yes, this WOULD constitute stalking. I tried posting a link to the Oklahoma stalking statute, but it wouldn't work. So here's the statute.

§21-1173.

A. Any person who willfully, maliciously, and repeatedly follows or
harasses another person in a manner that:

1. Would cause a reasonable person or a member of the immediate family
of that person as defined in subsection F of this section to feel
frightened, intimidated, threatened, harassed, or molested; and

2. Actually causes the person being followed or harassed to feel
terrorized, frightened, intimidated, threatened, harassed, or
molested,

upon conviction, shall be guilty of the crime of stalking, which is a
misdemeanor punishable by imprisonment in a county jail for not more
than one (1) year or by a fine of not more than One Thousand Dollars
($1,000.00), or by both such fine and imprisonment.

B. Any person who violates the provisions of subsection A of this
section when:

1. There is a temporary restraining order, a protective order or
emergency ex parte order, or an injunction in effect prohibiting the
behavior described in subsection A of this section against the same
party, when the person violating the provisions of subsection A of
this section has actual notice of the issuance of such order or
injunction; or

2. Said person is on probation or parole, a condition of which
prohibits the behavior described in subsection A of this section
against the same party; or

3. Said person, within ten (10) years preceding the violation of
subsection A of this section, completed the execution of sentence or
conviction of a crime involving the use or threat of violence against
the same party, or against a member of the immediate family of such
party,

upon conviction, shall be guilty of a felony punishable by
imprisonment in the State Penitentiary for a term not exceeding five
(5) years or by a fine of not more than Two Thousand Five Hundred
Dollars ($2,500.00), or by both such fine and imprisonment.

C. Any person who commits a second act of stalking within ten (10)
years of the completion of sentence for a prior conviction under
subsection A of this section, upon conviction thereof, shall be guilty
of a felony punishable by imprisonment in the State Penitentiary for a
term not exceeding five (5) years, or by a fine of not more than Two
Thousand Five Hundred Dollars ($2,500.00), or by both such fine and
imprisonment.

D. Any person who commits an act of stalking within ten (10) years of
the completion of execution of sentence for a prior conviction under
subsections B and C of this section, shall, upon conviction thereof,
be guilty of a felony punishable by a fine of not less than Two
Thousand Five Hundred Dollars ($2,500.00) nor more than Ten Thousand
Dollars ($10,000.00), or by imprisonment in the State Penitentiary for
a term not exceeding ten (10) years, or by both such fine and
imprisonment.

E. Evidence that the defendant continued to engage in a course of
conduct involving repeated unconsented contact with the victim after
having been requested by the victim to discontinue the same or a
different form of unconsented contact, and to refrain from any further
unconsented contact with the victim, shall give rise to a rebuttable
presumption that the continuation of the course of conduct caused the
victim to feel terrorized, frightened, intimidated, threatened,
harassed, or molested.

F. For purposes of this section:

1. "Harasses" means conduct directed toward a person that includes,
but is not limited to, repeated or continuing unconsented contact,
that would cause a reasonable person to suffer emotional distress, and
that actually causes emotional distress to the victim. Harassment does
not include constitutionally protected activity or conduct that serves
a legitimate purpose;

2. "Course of conduct" means a pattern of conduct composed of a series
of two (2) or more separate acts over a period of time, however short,
evidencing a continuity of purpose. Constitutionally protected
activity is not included within the meaning of "course of conduct";

3. "Emotional distress" means significant mental suffering or distress
that may, but does not necessarily require, medical or other
professional treatment or counseling;

4. "Unconsented contact" means any contact with another individual
that is initiated or continued without the consent of the individual,
or in disregard of that individual's expressed desire that the contact
be avoided or discontinued. Constitutionally protected activity is not
included within the meaning of unconsented contact. Unconsented
contact includes but is not limited to any of the following:

a. following or appearing within the sight of that individual,

b. approaching or confronting that individual in a public place or on
private property,

c. appearing at the workplace or residence of that individual,

d. entering onto or remaining on property owned, leased, or occupied
by that individual,

e. contacting that individual by telephone,

f. sending mail or electronic communications to that individual, and

g. placing an object on, or delivering an object to, property owned,
leased, or occupied by that individual; and

5. "Member of the immediate family" means any spouse, parent, child,
person related within the third degree of consanguinity or affinity or
any other person who regularly resides in the household or who
regularly resided in the household within the prior six (6) months.

 

[sickofpsychos]

Thank you so much. Any suggestions as to how to get the message across that I don't want to be contacted? I don't want to be accused of harassing her.

 

[FKNA]

Since you had an affair with her husband, you may want to contact him to see if he can get her to stop. It really is hard for an outsider to give advice on what action to take in a situation like this. At least you have the law on your side if you end up going that route. Best of luck to you.

 

[ccarter]

With all due respect FKNA and speaking as a woman and a wife, I don't think it's a good idea for her to contact the husband...I think it would only infuriate this woman more. She obviously has some mental problem to start this harrassment so long after the fact. Best thing to do is keep police informed and let them handle it.


BTW FKNA what happened to the post that was dedicated to you? lol..just curious.

 

[sickofpsychos]

Thanks very much for your help. I think no contact with him is the best route to take. I agree, it will only infuriate her more. We have a mutual friend who has spoken to him about stopping her with no success. He basically throws up his hands and says there is nothing he can do.

I think I've made up my mind to send the certified letter and hope it ends there.

Again, thanks so much for your help and time.

 

[FKNA]

ccarter....hence the reason I threw in the bit about an outsider really not being able to give advice in a situation like this. Because only she has a good grasp on the situation.

in regards to the dedication....let's just let sleeping dogs lie

sickofpsychos....hope it all works out for you. This next sentence is NOT intended to be any type of moral lecture. But due to your current situation, I bet you'll think twice before ever getting involved with a married man.

 

[sickofpsychos]

<But due to your current situation, I bet you'll think twice before ever getting involved with a married man.>

Definitely. Like I said, it will NEVER happen again. I was definitely suffering from head-up-the-butt syndrome. It really makes you see things in a different light when you're faced with a potentially dangerous situation due to something stupid you did.

 

[Kittyscorpio]

ccarter i write a letter to the administration bout the attacks on FKNA cause i didn't think it was right and neither did they so they removed all the forms that attacked him.

Sickof pyshcos i may not have any advice but we all make stupid mistakes but it takes a real person like you to learn from them and not repeat them

 

[FKNA]

Well thank you Kitty. That was kind of you.

 

[Kittyscorpio]

your welcome those two are just immature..plus they said stuff about my b/f before in a different thread so if i could do anything to make them mad i would...i think it shut them up though because they realize they have no power to do anything expect for spend all there time on here. i hope they finally leave u alone FKNA.

 

[FKNA]

Yes, I had seen what was said about your b/f. Doubtful they will end up leaving me alone. But in the future, I'll just take the stance of ignoring inflammatory remarks.

 

[ccarter]

kittyscorpio,

GOOD FOR YOU!!! I don't know why those two insisted on being bullies.


FKNA,

Why is your member status different? If you don't mind me asking.