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Harrasing Phone Calls

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Lee2k

Guest
State: Kentucky

About 3 1/2 years ago I had sex with a women that I had known for a month or so. She was friends with my friend and it just happened one night while we were alone. I did have a girl at the time and made the wrong choice. I ended it right after that with the girl I had sex with and never had a relationship with her.

Now, here we are almost 4 years later I'm married to the girl I cheated on and we have a child and another on the way.

About 3 months ago my wife and I started getting phone calls at all hours of the day. As late at midnight and as early as 5AM. It got old really quick so we called the phone company. The phone company instructed me to call the police to put the wheels in motion. An officer came out to our apartment and I filled out some paper and I was given a call log with phone number to log the calls on the paper and then on a machine with the phone company.

I did this untill I went beyond the space provided on the call log and untill the calls started to turn into more. They called one night and made refference to condoms several times during the call. The nex morning there was a used condom outside the door. And over the next few days they started to leave letter outside the door as well. So I went ahead and called the phone company to see how they were doing on the traces. Thats when I find out that they were unable to trace any call that I had logged and that there techs were stumped as to why they were unable to trace them.

I called the police and told them and they gave me to a detective to work with. The more the person said during the calls the more I realized that it was the person who I had the sexual encounter with that I stated at the begining of this story. So I called around and was able to get her phone number. I gave it to the police along with the notes left outside the door.

The calls stopped after that for about 2 weeks and the police said they called the number that I gave them and closed the case. About a week later they started calling again saying "Your going to regret it" So obviosly I had the right person and right phone number. I called the police to tell them it was continuing and over the cource of 3 weeks and 4 messages left for there detective they ignored every attemp I made to contact them.

We ended up filling bankruptcy and moving a few cities away to stay with my wifes grandmother to save up some money and move back out. We were there for about 2 weeks and all of a sudden they started calling out there! Saying that we can never hide and they will find us wherever we go. I went to the police of this city and they told me they could do nothing about it and to go down to the courthouse and see what they can do.

So I go down to the courthouse and they direct me to Mediation. Mediation tells me they can't do anything because I don't have the persons last name or address or enough proof to file against her.

Now I know what shes doing is against the law yet she seems to have been given the green light to continue to do it and I'm pretty much being told to live with it. I work untill midnight and these people have already shown they come to the residence as well, and my wife and son are home alone. We can't figure out how they get the private phone numbers or the residence of where we live or move too. I feel so stuck and so livid that theres nothing I can do!

Please help.
 


stephenk

Senior Member
does *69 work on your phone? In California, it dials back the last phone call to your phone. That way you can get their number.

you can also purchase caller ID. Her phone number will show up on the display.

You can also have your phone set up so that it will not ring through if a caller has a caller ID block on their own phone. The caller will have to disengage the block before the call can be completed.

You should save all the voice messages she leaves.

You said you were able to get her phone number. Can you also get her address from the same source?
 
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4LilMan

Guest
Get on a plane, move to another city, and start your life over! The nutty b*otch can't follow a plane. She is a nut case. You have a serious problem on your hands. I hope that this girl doesn't try to hurt your family. Can't you look into some kin of stalking charges or something? Amazing how the police can't do anything for a person. Do the anonymous call block thing, then she can't call anymore and if she does it will be traced. But then she may start coming around more, and you don't want that. Set up some kind of hidden camera by your door so if she leaves anymore nasty-grams you can catch her on tape and bring it to the police. Bet you'll never stray again will ya?! Good luck.
 
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Lee2k

Guest
You guys made very good points. Unfortunetly I have tried them all. I put a block for private calls on there, but then she started calling and they came up unavailable. The phone company doesnt have anything for that. And you made a very good point about her then comming over more if I completely get rid of any way for her to call, which has scared me when I'm trying to figure out how to do it. I started thinking about just not even having a phone, were not home that much so I thought screw it, but then that would give her more of a reason to figure out where were not living and then comming down more, and I'm not home when my wife and kid are so its scarry.

Heres the thing that drives me nuts. I tried to call her and just try to set things straight myself, but she changed the number to a private number. Now I have no way at all to get that number and then call her. Yet somehow by the grace of god she is able to start calling me no matter now many times I change the number and keep it private. We will be moving out of this residence soon and back into a place of our own. I plan on only giving the number to her mother and mine, yet I know that we will be there for only 2 weeks or so and she will call...

The only way I can do a damn thing is if I have physical evidence stating its her..sure I could record the phone calls but that not 100% unless the phone company could trace the calls which they tell me they cant. Really the only way is to have her on video tape, but since we moved out of our apartment no one has come to the actual location. Its really ruining everything because even though me and my wife are past what happen, she still has to deal with this phyco all day.

Get this..she calls last week and tells my wife she is sorry for all the problems she has caused and that 99% of what she has been saying is lies and that she will never call again. 3 days goes by and now shes calling non stop again....thats sick.
 
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4LilMan

Guest
I would still go buy a small camera to put on your doorstep when you move. And get a security system about ($30/mo & $100 inst.) and DO NOT cut off the phone b/c if she breaks in your house your wife won't have a way to call the cops. I would still record the calls too for times like that when she apologizes...is she saying her name or giving any indication as to who is on the other end? You know, my wife's aunt is kind of crazy. She screwed with my mother in law a lot after her and my father in law got divorced. And she got their phone number and address from the courthouse. It is public info here and not everyone knows that. Maybe that is where she is getting it. I would find out. Or she could work for some credit check or background check company. You may very well be screwed all around. I would conduct any financial business from your work address and phone #, who knows if that would help. You need to say screw the police and hire a private detective to track her down and watch her for a while even if you hav to make payments to him. Maybe he can get her on tape or give you her # and then you can put the psycho in jail for stalking. Women like that don't like rejection and she may hurt your wife or yourself. I dont' know man. I feel bad for your wife. I hope you figure out a way. If you ever do let us know...:confused:
 

FarmerJ

Senior Member
Call your phone co and ask them if they have what might be called custom ringing what this does is you have a primary number like say 555-9999 and when any one calls it you have a regular single ring on the phone in house , the phone co assigns a 2nd number say 999-9555 stacked on top of the primary and so that number has say a double ring pattern and the special number NEVER shows on any ones caller ID only your primary number will . so your moms and any friends can have that number and all other things like say your car ins the electric co the gas co can all have the primary number and you can just have a answer machine grab all calls except those who have dialed your special number wich you can hear that differnt ring pattern and pick up the phone knowing it should be someone you gave that number to . ( this service is available even where i am in a rural area and is only a few dollars per month )
 
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Lee2k

Guest
Well what I've done is I have typed a very proffesional letter to the detective who was once in charge of this case and who originally contacted her at the number that I had given him. I asked him if he could get the new number, address..etc of this individual and give it to the courts for Mediation. Mediation appears to be the only thing I can do at this point but no without all of the individual information. And there should be no reason considering the circumstances why the police cannot obtain that for me.

Heres how mediation works. They force her to come in and then I come in and we all sit there and talk this out. Now, that may be fine and she may say shes sorry and that she will stop doing it, but shes already proven that she says shes sorry and wont call anymore yet continues too. So after mediation if she continues to call then what? I wonder if then what I can do.

Now, she may also in mediation say its not her and she has no idea why shes there. But yes when she called and appologized she went all out and said who she was and how she met me. And it was the person I suspected since the begining. And we never let on that we knew who she was, so she can't be using who we suspected as a scape goat. Its not even a question anymore if its her or not and I would hope with what has happened the courts could see that without there being physical evidence that yes it is infact her doing this.

I will look into private detective, but were trying to file bankruptcy and restart our financial future so paying for one may be very hard.
 

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