is this harrasment?

[jimnyc]

What is the name of your state? New York

I used to be pretty close with a girl I used to work with. We got closer after I no longer worked at the same place. Needless to say, it went sour and we didn't speak for quite some time. First I emailed her asking for a necklace back I bought her. She resisted. I replied that I would let everyone she works with know what transpired if she didn't return it (she is a pretty private person). She then gave it back. That was like 3 months ago. Just this week I found an ad she had placed online looking for a date. I took a screen capture of it and laughed my ass off. I emailed her ONCE asking how things were going looking for a man online. I then sent out one email to about 5 people she works with, that I am friends with, with the picture included. I thought it was funny, and thought maybe a bit of humility was in line fore her. Anyway, obviously someone told her about it and I guess she was a bit embarassed. She now told this person she is going to the police and filing harrasment charges against me. Thats all the contact I had with her, and all I plan on having. Does she have anything? Thx guys!

 

[I AM ALWAYS LIABLE]

What is the name of your state? New York

I used to be pretty close with a girl I used to work with. We got closer after I no longer worked at the same place. Needless to say, it went sour and we didn't speak for quite some time. First I emailed her asking for a necklace back I bought her. She resisted. I replied that I would let everyone she works with know what transpired if she didn't return it (she is a pretty private person). She then gave it back. That was like 3 months ago. Just this week I found an ad she had placed online looking for a date. I took a screen capture of it and laughed my ass off. I emailed her ONCE asking how things were going looking for a man online. I then sent out one email to about 5 people she works with, that I am friends with, with the picture included. I thought it was funny, and thought maybe a bit of humility was in line fore her. Anyway, obviously someone told her about it and I guess she was a bit embarassed. She now told this person she is going to the police and filing harrasment charges against me. Thats all the contact I had with her, and all I plan on having. Does she have anything? Thx guys!

My response:

That was pretty weenie of you to do - - pretty weenie.

However, since she used the Internet, she placed herself in the position of having the world, including you and your friends, inspect her ad, and subjected herself to criticism and comment.

So, the reality of her situation is that she has nothing.

But, despite your good fortune in this situation, it was still weenie of you to do it.

IAAL

 

[HomeGuru]

Very small. In the world of jumbo hot dogs the writer is a mere vienna sausage.

 

[jimnyc]

Re: Re: is this harrasment?

I'm not disagreeing with you!

My response:

That was pretty weenie of you to do - - pretty weenie.

However, since she used the Internet, she placed herself in the position of having the world, including you and your friends, inspect her ad, and subjected herself to criticism and comment.

So, the reality of her situation is that she has nothing.

But, despite your good fortune in this situation, it was still weenie of you to do it.

IAAL

 

[jimnyc]

By the way, thanks for such quick replies. You guys are great!

 

[HomeGuru]

Why thanks,

signed,

Big Dogs Legal Advisors, LLC.

 

[I AM ALWAYS LIABLE]

"You guys are great!"

=============================


My response:

Yeah, we know. Now, how about putting some "greatness" in your life, and leave her alone - - for good!

IAAL

 

[Mike101]

I am figuring that your ex is going to tell the police the whole story. That will include the necklace incident. I had a case where a boyfriend told his ex that if she didn't give back a ring he had gotten her he would go to her workplace and let her coworkers hear about some of the things that they use to do. She was also a private person.
I obtained a warrant charging him with extortion. A nice felony. Also charged him with harrasment. The harrasment charge was dismissed and the boyfriend was convicted on the extortion charge.
Guess what state this happened in?

 

[jimnyc]

I see what your saying, but this was a little different. Nothing ever happened between us sexually, or even close to that for that matter. She didn't want anyone at work to know we were friends outside of work. She milked me for cash and nights out, stringing me along as if she liked me. All that was stated in the email was that everyone would know the truth about her and what type of person she is. She gave the necklace back and there was no contact for several months. Wouldn't it look a little suspicious to bring up an extortion attempt months later? Anyway, advice taken, and thank you. I just felt slighted and wanted the necklace back, I'm not an extortionist - if thats even a word! Damn, hate to go to jail for that!

I am figuring that your ex is going to tell the police the whole story. That will include the necklace incident. I had a case where a boyfriend told his ex that if she didn't give back a ring he had gotten her he would go to her workplace and let her coworkers hear about some of the things that they use to do. She was also a private person.
I obtained a warrant charging him with extortion. A nice felony. Also charged him with harrasment. The harrasment charge was dismissed and the boyfriend was convicted on the extortion charge.
Guess what state this happened in?

 

[Mike101]

It wouldn't be an extortion attempt. You got the necklace so it is completed. She says she thought it was done between you and her. Then a few months later you pop up again. She decides to do something about it. Nothing suspicious about that. It makes for a good case also because you come out looking like a 'weenie' and she looks like a person getting harassed by an ex.
If you had sex or not doesn't matter. I think now she is in the postion to screw you though.

 

[jimnyc]

Ok, what you are saying makes sense. My intentions were to get the necklace back, but I can see where the line was crossed. I guess I'll have to take my punishment like a man. Any idea what type of punishment/sentence I can look forward to should she decide to go forward in that fashion?

It wouldn't be an extortion attempt. You got the necklace so it is completed. She says she thought it was done between you and her. Then a few months later you pop up again. She decides to do something about it. Nothing suspicious about that. It makes for a good case also because you come out looking like a 'weenie' and she looks like a person getting harassed by an ex.
If you had sex or not doesn't matter. I think now she is in the postion to screw you though.

 

[Mike101]

Do you have any kind of record? And do you plan on coming off looking like a weenie for the court?

 

[jimnyc]

No record, and I would have no alternative but to be truthful and be at the mercy of the court!

Do you have any kind of record? And do you plan on coming off looking like a weenie for the court?

 

[Boxcarbill]

What is the name of your state? New York

I used to be pretty close with a girl I used to work with. We got closer after I no longer worked at the same place. Needless to say, it went sour and we didn't speak for quite some time. First I emailed her asking for a necklace back I bought her. She resisted. I replied that I would let everyone she works with know what transpired if she didn't return it (she is a pretty private person). She then gave it back.

In addition to the pettiness that has already been addressed, I want to comment on a gift. It seems that many people, including you, do not understand the meaning of gift. A gift divests the giver of all ownership over the object given. I don't care whether it is a box of chocolates to the girlfriend or a new car for mom and dad. The giver is divested of all ownership. The object given belongs to the recipient and after death is part of their estate. So asking for the necklace back was crass. I suggest that you not "give" any one any thing which you intend to recover after the relationship ends, whether the end of the relationship is by agreement, court order or through death. If you intend to request the objects return upon termination of the relationship, you need to advise the receipient that it is a loan or for their use during their lifetime but reverts to you upon termination of the relationship, by whatever means

 

[jimnyc]

Re: Re: is this harrasment?

I understand the meaning of a gift. It appears I was wrong in how I went about getting it returned. I am not debating anyone on this issue. I didn't plan it that way, but after hearing everyones explanations I see that I was clearly wrong. Apparently there isn't anything I can do now except learn from the experience and not repeat my mistakes.

I've only heard that she wanted to get me in trouble for harassment, so this may not be an issue anyway. I was just curious at this point what trouble I "could" get in should she decide to go forward with either charge.

Live and learn. I admit I was wrong, and I know this won't happen again. No more gifts to women, they have a way of making a man do stupid things!

In addition to the pettiness that has already been addressed, I want to comment on a gift. It seems that many people, including you, do not understand the meaning of gift. A gift divests the giver of all ownership over the object given. I don't care whether it is a box of chocolates to the girlfriend or a new car for mom and dad. The giver is divested of all ownership. The object given belongs to the recipient and after death is part of their estate. So asking for the necklace back was crass. I suggest that you not "give" any one any thing which you intend to recover after the relationship ends, whether the end of the relationship is by agreement, court order or through death. If you intend to request the objects return upon termination of the relationship, you need to advise the receipient that it is a loan or for their use during their lifetime but reverts to you upon termination of the relationship, by whatever means