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How to best deal with well-meaning nutcase?

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V

veruca

Guest
I'm posting from Texas.

A friend of mine (an ex-boyfriend from some years ago, let's call him Mike) has a nutcase girlfriend. Mike is an alcoholic and his girlfriend, who is studying to be a social worker, feels it's her duty to "cure" him.

My problem is that, every time Mike gets into trouble, his girlfriend calls me and demands I help her sort things out. I can only guess she does this as Mike's drinking has driven most of his other friends away, and she thinks I have ready cash. (I should note here that I always refuse to bail out Mike as it won't do any long-term good.)

Even worse, she NEVER gets the facts right. Last weekend, she called me and said that Mike had been arrested for DUI and that I needed to go bail him out. Turns out he had been pulled over and breathalized, but he wasn't drunk - the police took him in for unpaid tickets and released him on his own recognizance. But the girlfriend had told me an incredible story (like Mike had over a liter to drink that day, yada yada) that really upset me.

I have no idea where she gets the inspiration for these stories, but I don't care. I just want her to leave me alone, and I have told her this on several occasions. So has Mike and his mother.

Problem is, after looking at the Texas stalking law, I can't really accuse her of stalking. So how do I get her to leave me alone? She uses different phones to make her calls so blocking her is not really possible. Would a Cease and Desist letter be recommended, and if so, should it come from me or an attorney? Or should I go the Restraining Order way? I don't mind laying out cash to get some peace from this woman.
 


I AM ALWAYS LIABLE

Senior Member
My response:

You are an "enabler" yourself! By talking with her, YOU are the one giving her license to call you. STOP IT!

Why are you engaging this woman in conversation?

Did you ever hear of "hanging up" on her when you hear her voice? Just HANG UP!

After awhile of that happening, she won't call you back anymore.

IAAL
 

Beth3

Senior Member
I agree. Hang up as soon as you recognize her voice.

Until you stop conversing with her or lending her an ear for her current sob story about Mike, she'll just keep it up as your actions bely your intent.

Hang up the phone immediately. Until you start doing this, she'll just keep on calling.
 

FarmerJ

Senior Member
practice these magic words and say them fast and in a firm tone of voice next time she calls `` Cant talk now, gotta go , and hang up practice it with the next call you get one of these , hi mrs johnson this is john from econ carpet cleaners Im calling you about our winter carpet cleaning special ( I used to work from them back in the 70s LOL ) it gets easier and easier
 
H

hmmbrdzz

Guest
And this woman's going to be a social worker? Geez.....she's sure got a long way to go and is in for one rude awakening. Next time she calls, tell her "I've asked you not to call me. Do not call me anymore. If you do, I'll call the cops". Then hang up. If she calls you again, hang up and call the police. Tell them you have asked this woman to leave you alone and she won't and that you want a restraining order against her. The first question the police will ask you is "what have you done to instruct her to leave you alone?". If you haven't specifically advised this woman "leave me alone", the police will very likely tell you "you've got to tell this person to leave you alone". So tell her. Be very clear about it, and do not engage her in ANY conversation otherwise.

hmmbrdzz
 

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