How can I get a no contact order changed?

[chrcro]

I would like to get a no contact order, (in Oregon)
Lifted, so I can reconcile with the victim in an assault IV
case from 11/00. Although I have had no contact, the victim has e-mailed me and let me know these are her wishes also.
Please help!

 

[JRedd]

From my own experience, I had a PPO against me with no contact with my husband. He then called my probation officer, who then requested that the conditions of my probation be changed, along with the PPO, this went to the Judge who sentenced me.

Unfortunately, the sad part of all this. After we got back together, he then used my "probation" as a control tool over me, I spent 6 months living in terror, scared to death that he would call the police on me and accuse me falsely. I was doing everything he wanted, to avoid him getting mad.

I highly recommend, that you and the victim attend counseling, my husband refused. I am attending domestic violence group sessions, to deal with all the emotional abuse.

I finally moved out, secretly, I was that scared. I am now getting divorce. I wish the judge would have made counseling a stipulation for us getting back together.

He said he forgave me for what I had done, it was an accident, but I don't think he did. Instead he then punished me in his own way (all the while telling me how much he loved me). Or he's just a sick puppy.

 

[Xjudge]

You cannot have a no contact order lifted. Only the victim can request it and the judge that issued it must approve it. It is rare now days for judges to lift no contact orders, over 90% of those lifted results in violence against the victim within 60 days. As a perpetrator in this case, unless you have sought help for yourself such as successfully attending an anger management class, the odds of the order being dismissed are pretty high.