I just need an advice

[NeedAnAdvice]

What is the name of your state?
VA


I talked to someone over the internet and phone for about 4 months. She is 16, or 17 I believe and from another state, WA. I am 22, and I am from VA.
We had this sort of friendship, a shallow one if you ask me, just the casual "hello, how was your day? good.... how was school? good" type of thing.
I will admit that maybe a couple of times we might have said something that could be described as naughty, or sexual(a couple of sexual comments), it only happened a couple of times and it was not really too personal or explicit. However, I did not in any way intede to be with this girl, or get together with her, or even have anything with her for that matter it was just a simple friendship.
A couple of days ago her dad caught her talking on the phone with me when apparently she was not allowed to. The conversations weren't a big deal, but apparently the fact that she was talking to me even tho she was told not to was enough to enfuriate her dad.
Apparently, today, the dad went to the cops, and there is this one cop who keeps on calling me nonstop, he called about 50 times in a matter of minutes. The number seemed unknown to me so I did not pick up, he left 2 voice mails.

First voice mail says:
"Hello this deputy, something* from something* county WA. I am calling you regarding Lisa. Her parents want you to stay away, so I am here to talk to you about that. Her parents are not filing anything criminal against you, as of yet. So, it's of your best interest for you to call me. I just want to get some information about you. Again they are not filing anything criminal yet. So, call me. My number is something*."

Second voice mail says:
"Hey... Alex... call me when you can at something*"

something* = I was decided it was personal and not really necessary to put that information.



Again, the friendship I had with that girl was rather shallow. All she knows about me is my cell phone number, my email address and that my name is Alex. All I know is that her name is Lisa pretty much. I don't really know her address, or her full name or anything.



Where I really need advice is:

Can they get a warrent or something to come all the way here to talk to me and get my information based only on my cell phone number?

Would it really be of my best interest to call him and give him my information?

"They just want you away, they are not filing anything criminal, yet" Could this possibly mean they have grounds to file something criminal against me?

What exactly is the law on talking to someone, and differenciating a normal talk that might contain some sexual content from a talk that might be "criminal".

What should I do?

What are the chances something might happen from here?



Please give me an advice, as it is right now I am nervous and scared something problematic might occur.

 

[outonbail]

Well you go from saying it was just a casual "hello, how was your day", innocent type of friendly communication with a sixteen year old girl, to a couple of "naughty, sexual conversations.
Then you claim that you had no intentions of being with this girl or having anything with her at all, to talking to her on the phone.

The pattern of communication you describe, going from an on line hello, to speaking on the telephone and some naughty conversations, is the typical pattern of every Internet pedophile I've ever heard about.
They all say, "I had no intentions of doing anything with her" But none of them share a common interest or compare their Barbie doll collections with these young girls.
So, what is it that you had in common with this girl that would bring you from "hello, how's your day", to swapping telephone numbers?

Anyway, if you haven't sent nude photos back and forth or typed an abundance of sexually suggestive messages to her, you probably haven't broken any laws yet.

I don't believe the police would call you fifty times either. Possibly this girls dad called you that many times to tell you what he plans on doing to you if you don't stop communicating with his minor daughter. I don't blame him either. If you were communicating with a young daughter of mine, I'd threaten to cut your balls off too!

So call the police back and tell them your BS story about not having any intentions of doing anything with your little Internet friend and tell them that you'll never communicate with her again and then do it.

Then go find some girls your own age to talk naughty with and you will not find yourself in this type of situation again.

If you find that you keep going back to the friendly conversations with young girls, go see a shrink and see if you cant be helped before you take that next step.

 

[NeedAnAdvice]

No, I think you misunderstood what I said.
What I said was. In 4 months or so of conversations between Lisa and I, I probably said 3 "naughty" things... that's right, two of them were jokes, and one of them was an answer to a question that she had given me.

I said it was a casual friendship, something shallow, there was no real details of her life or mine, we would just talk about random things and unimportant things that would not affect each other's lives. It was not really any sort of conversations that I would have with family or close friends, it was really superficial.
We basically exchanged phone numbers because it is easier to talk on the phone than typing, not because we were that close to each other.

The cop actually did call many many times, I had around 15 missed calls from his actual number. And about 35 missed calles from "Unknown" number.
Trust me I am looking at the cell phone.

The voice mails that he left. One of them was from his actual number which on the voice mail he said is his office number. The other voice mail is from "Unknown" number and he says that he will keep calling me and that I should call him back as a I previously said.

Her dad has already read all of the conversations, I have no doubt the cop has as well. Good thing tho is that no I didn't say anything explicit, the two jokes were just of sexual nature. And the answer that I gave to her question was in deed sexual but not necessarily me telling her anything or of us doing anything, it was more of a simple answer.

My fear though is that right now the police doesn't really have any information on me because like I said, it was a pretty superficial friendship - and if I called them I feel they could pretty much get all of my information and use it against or something.

 

[Rachel.M]

Consult an atttorney. You are more than likely under no obligation to talk to the police at this point and you definitely don't have an obligation to make your situation worse for yourself or incriminate yourself.

Call the police department's general phone number and leave a message for the officer along the lines of: I'm returning your phone call. If you need any further information regarding this situation, please call my attorney at ...." This will stop the phone calls.

If you have truly not done anything wrong, you don't have anything to worry about. The officer is probably just choosing to make a point to scare you. In most states, what you have described is probably not illegal with a 16-17 year old.

Do check with an attorney to make sure you are not violating any online predator laws.

That said, don't put yourself at risk and don't take chances. Only have relationships with people who are over the age of 18. Learn your lesson now before it becomes something that can't be solved with a phone call. It's all about perception. It may seem perfectly okay to you, but to a child or a parent, they make interpret your conversations in a completely different way. Remember - this is a digital world and what you type and say can be recorded or stored and held against you. This particular situation may go away, but if it happens again with another girl and her parents, you have a history of inappropriate communication with minors which will make it much worse for you. Do the right thing and find someone your own age to communicate with.

Rachel (who is not an attorney and only gives personal opinions, not legal advice)

 

[Just Blue]

Consult an atttorney. You are more than likely under no obligation to talk to the police at this point and you definitely don't have an obligation to make your situation worse for yourself or incriminate yourself.

Call the police department's general phone number and leave a message for the officer along the lines of: I'm returning your phone call. If you need any further information regarding this situation, please call my attorney at ...." This will stop the phone calls.

If you have truly not done anything wrong, you don't have anything to worry about. The officer is probably just choosing to make a point to scare you. In most states, what you have described is probably not illegal with a 16-17 year old.

Do check with an attorney to make sure you are not violating any online predator laws.

That said, don't put yourself at risk and don't take chances. Only have relationships with people who are over the age of 18. Learn your lesson now before it becomes something that can't be solved with a phone call. It's all about perception. It may seem perfectly okay to you, but to a child or a parent, they make interpret your conversations in a completely different way. Remember - this is a digital world and what you type and say can be recorded or stored and held against you. This particular situation may go away, but if it happens again with another girl and her parents, you have a history of inappropriate communication with minors which will make it much worse for you. Do the right thing and find someone your own age to communicate with.

Rachel (who is not an attorney and only gives personal opinions, not legal advice)

Okay...Please post a statute, ANY STATUTE from ANY STATE, that would not make having ANY sexual conversation with a minor over the internet illegal....And then post it here.

This site is not a personal opinion site. It is a site for people having legal problems in need of advice. The answers that are provided should be based on statutes and case law for the state in question. Period. If you can't follow that simple rule...DO NOT POST. Understand??

 

[Ozark_Sophist]

Okay...Please post a statute, ANY STATUTE from ANY STATE, that would not make having ANY sexual conversation with a minor over the internet illegal....And then post it here.

This site is not a personal opinion site. It is a site for people having legal problems in need of advice. The answers that are provided should be based on statutes and case law for the state in question. Period. If you can't follow that simple rule...DO NOT POST. Understand??

Virginia Code § 18.2-374.3.

For statutes on the 43 other states that had statutes as of 2007, check out http://www.unc.edu/courses/2007spring/law/357c/001/chrishansen/

 

[Just Blue]

http://cpsr.org/prevsite/cpsr/nii/cyber-rights/web/cda/cda.final.html/

OP can be charged Federally.

 

[outonbail]

http://cpsr.org/prevsite/cpsr/nii/cyber-rights/web/cda/cda.final.html/

OP can be charged Federally.

http://www.usatoday.com/news/opinion/columnists/wickham/2001-09-04-wickham.htm

OP can be castrated locally! (by dad)

Thus making him the "O" (I now sit when I) "P"

 

[NeedAnAdvice]

I called the cop back and he starts with

"I know about the pictures that she has shown you"
I am like, "Excuse me?"
he is like, "I know she has shown herself naked on webcam to you, I know she has shown you naked pictures of her. I know this because I found those pictures on her computer"

I am like, "I am sorry sir, but I have never recieved those pictures, I have never seen her naked in my life, we barely talk, I don't even have her cellphone number, the only reason she has it is because she begged me so long for it and I finally gave in and told her my number. Though cellphone bills would show I have never called her in my life, she is the onlyone who has ever called me. Plus turns out she has called me from her moms cellphone number so I would think she was allowed to talk to me"

He says. "Oh I see, are you sure you have never seen her naked?"
Me, "I am really sure I havent"

Him, "Do you know who else she talks to?"
me, "No, I think her classmates, and a couple of other friends, but I don't really know who she talks to, I never bothered asking"

He keeps going trying to incriminate me saying things like he knows about me talking dirty, he knows about pictures, he knows me showing myself naked
And I keep on telling him, That never happened I don't even own a webcam, I have never shown myself naked to anyone over the internet, ever.

He then says that when Lisa's parents came over to see him they were just concerned about her daughter talking to me and that they wanted him to go after me and he told them that he didn't have a case against me or anything at all. That apparently the girl has been lying to them and lying to me too. That she made it seem like it was ok for her to talk to me and she made it seem to her parents she was not talking to me at all.

Then I told the officer that if her parents had told me before they didn't want me talking to Lisa, I would have stopped talking to her a long time ago. That, I didn't really have problem stopping talking to Lisa if this was going to get me in troubles or it was something against her parents decisions. I told him that I just picked up the calls because; one, she used to beg me to. And two, it was calls from her mother's cellphone so it wasn't that bad according to me.

He said he needed my full name and address just to write up his report. That he was not going to go after me since there wasn't much to go on with. That he would just talk to the parents and tell them that he talked to me and told me to stay away. I also told him to PLEASE tell the parents, that DO NOT allow her to either try to contact me through phone, or any internet form of communication. That they shouldn't lend their cellphone to their daughters if they don't know what their daughter is up to. And that if by any chance she, or them tried to contact me at all, I would call the officer because the last thing I want in my life is trouble. I don't trouble at all. He said he would tell the parents that, and that there isn't anything much going to happen. But that he might have to get in contact with me again so he will call me sometime soon or something.

Could I possibly have made my situation worse? I read the laws that you people were showing me and everything, and according to them I haven't really violated any law or rule, so I decided to talk to the officer before he believed I was guilty of anything and I was trying to hide or something.


I have bad experience with cops, they tend to lie a lot to me I dont even know why. I am honestly scared this cop lied to me or something and something else might happen from here.

Any legal advice on what might happen next please?

 

[Ozark_Sophist]

You should have consulted an attorney prior to talking to law enforcement. Perhaps no harm was done, but come back and let us know when the door bell rings.

 

[NeedAnAdvice]

It has been two full days since I had contact with the officer for the last time.

In our last conversation I expressed that I really don't want any trouble from this, especially since I don't feel I did anything illegal. He said he was reading through the messages, so I asked him to PLEASE quote something where I might have said something that could be categorized as illegal because of it's sexual content. He said he couldn't.

Then he asked me how I would call the relationship I had with Lisa and I told him it was a friendship. He then asked me how come I had said a couple of times "I love you too", and I asked him to count the times I said versus the times she said it to me. He said that yes he can see she would say it countless of times before I said it once, he then asked why. I answered, "to be honest with you, to shut her up. I didn't want to be too mean to her and just tell her to shut up, and I knew it would make her slightly happy if she heard that from me, so I said it. Sorry"

I think he honestly started to believe me and that it was just a friendship between Lisa and me. He kept on asking some questions but I think they were just to try to tie up the ends and have something to tell the parents, things such as. "So how many times did you call her?" "What phone was she calling from?" "When was the last time you guys talked?" "Have you talked to her recently?" "Are you going to talk to her again?" and to all of those questions the answers were very much pleasing to him. I never called her once, she would call from her parents cellphone so it seemed as if she had permission from her parents, we had not talked in weeks, I AM NOT going to talk to her again.

I told him to give a statement to the parents on my behalf:

"I am sorry I was talking to your daughter without your conscent. However the fact that she was calling from her moms cellphone made me believe you[the parents] were somehow ok with her talking on the phone. If you had told me you didn't want her talking to me you could have called from that cellphone and tell me to stop talking to her, I would have automatically stopped.

I am sorry you can't control your own children. If I had a child who I have told not to call people. I would not give them my cellphone and I would definitely not let them be on the computer unatended.

I do believe this problem is more likely to be a family matter in which there is no trust between your kids and you as parents. Something that should be settled among yourselves, maybe ground her, or don't - that is your choice. But please don't try to ruin my life over a mistake that all of us were part of. Her mistake for not letting her parents too much into her life, mine for letting her into my life, and her parents for bringing me into their lives."

The cop slightly laughed and said, "yes, that is exactly what I was wondering, why would they let her use their cellphone if they are so strict with her. But anyway, yes, I will talk to the parents and let them know what you said."

About one hour or less after I had stopped talking to the cop, Lisa sends me an Email[Due to the fact that she can't instant message me anymore since I blocked her in any way possible] good thing tho is that I also put a filter on her Email address so I am no longer capable of recieving her Emails either.

I immediately called the officer and let him know of the situation:
"I just got an Email from Lisa T., I don't know what the Email said since I set up a filter so I would no longer recieve emails from her."

The officer replied:
"What? She tried contacting you... again? Ok, I will talk to the parents and let them know of the situation. I am thankful you let me know of this, and also it is a good thing that you didn't reply to her. If she tries contacting you again let me know again and just ignore her Emails or anything she sends you"

I hope I never hear from him again.