I'm worried I may be stalked again...

[ScaredAgain]

I have been fending off advances from an older man for about two months now, and it just keeps on getting worse. I'm 19 and this man is 40; he's a reserve police officer who is a security guard part-time at my place of work. I'm scared of what he might do if we were alone together because he won't keep his hands off of me in public, he has hugged me without my consent, put his arms around me, rubbed my shoulders regardless of the fact that I asked him to stop. He won't leave me alone, and when I don't show up for work he asks others where I am, what I'm doing...etc. I have made it clear on several occasions that I do not want relationship with him, I don't want to be friends with him, and that I don't really have any desire to talk to him, but nothing works. I know I could easily get him fired, but I'm afraid of what he might do if to me if that happened. I would venture to say that if in fact I was caught alone with this man, I could easily see him try to do something stupid, like trying to rape me. I'm really scared and I need to know what I could do legally to stop this. I'm tired of the harrassment and perverted lines he tries to feed me. I am ready to seriously take action, so any help would be appreciated.

 

[I AM ALWAYS LIABLE]

My response:

If you're in that much fear, then you shouldn't concern yourself with his job status - whether he's a guard or a real cop - neither of which is your concern. Your concern is your well-being and safety.

He has committed an assault and battery upon you. Yes, he has.

You need to go immediately to your nearest criminal courts building and see the criminal filing clerk. Ask for all necessary paperwork for a Restraining Order or Order of Protection. Fill them out, and file them. The clerk will give you all the brochures concerning your rights and the laws.

You will IMMEDIATELY be in front of a judge, and with what you've stated here, you'll more than likely have your Temporary Orders granted. The jerk will be served with the papers, which will direct him to appear for a full blown hearing in about 10 days or so. You will also appear, and the judge will hear both sides (bring your witnesses too) and make a decision whether the Orders should become permanent.

Whether temporary or permanent, the Restraining Orders will require him to stay away from you, not talk to you or to communicate in any fashion with you. And, he must maintain a distance of at least 100 yards from you which, when you figure that out, will cause him to lose his job.

So what ?

You come first.

Do it now, do it today !

Let me know what's going on, and how you're doing.

IAAL

 

[Rvela]

If I were in your situation,
I would talk to human resorce dept where I work. they need to be aware of what is happening. and I would be very frank; tell them I fear what would happen if he were fired, If IAAL suggested to file (appear before the judge and all that), do that also, but you might want to let HR know what you plan to do. these people are skilled in handling people like him. (or at least they should be). but let them know that you have already told him how you feel and that he ignores your request to stop.
sounds like the line has been crossed with the touching and stuff.
who knows, some one else may have reported against him, sounds like he has a problem. You have the right to a comfortable work enviroment. hassle free. you have this right!
good luck and keep us posted!!

 

[ScaredAgain]

Thought I would update you... I was too uncomfortable with the idea of filing for a restraining order and the harassment did continue for a bit longer, but I became fed up and had a dear man friend of mine who works with me have a talk with this man. My friend is, shall we say, very intimidating... he's 6'5" and 240 lbs., and after a warning from this friend, the abuse stopped immediately. In fact, thankfully, this man has actually stopped talking to me altogether. I think this crisis has been averted for good.

I might also say that my friend did not threaten the man, he just explained in a calm manner that he did not want him talking to me, touching me, or doing anything that might make me feel threatened... Or he would face consequences of losing his job at the workplace, and the incedent would be reported to his superiors, as well as having charges filed against him. I guess it worked.

 

[cbg]

If you want an HR Managers' point of view:

If you were one of my employees, I would want you to report this to me even though the situation has been, at least for now, resolved. First, you don't know what else might be going on with this man and someone else. Second, if the situation should start back up again and there was already a report with Human Resources, we would not need to start at square one as there would already be some documentation in the files.

In terms of any action that HR might need to take in future, if it isn't documented, it didn't happen. So please, talk to someone in your HR department now. Tell them that the situation seems to be temporarily under control, but give them the chance to investigate it. You may be glad later.