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inappropriat relationship

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anonymous2

Guest
What is the name of your state? IA

My daughter was in a residintial treatment for about six months prior to her 18th birthday in Dec. 2002. She began a relationship with a male who used to work at the facility about 2 monthes after she had left the program. I do not know if they are having sexual contact, but I can only imagin. I was wondering if there is any legal way that I can stop this relationship. I know that my daughter will not. In other words, due to me being her mother can I tell the police due to it being against the law for them to have the relationship or is it up to my daughter to do that?
 


O

OSNNG2L

Guest
anonymous2 said:
What is the name of your state? IA

My daughter was in a residintial treatment for about six months prior to her 18th birthday in Dec. 2002. She began a relationship with a male who used to work at the facility about 2 monthes after she had left the program. I do not know if they are having sexual contact, but I can only imagin. I was wondering if there is any legal way that I can stop this relationship. I know that my daughter will not. In other words, due to me being her mother can I tell the police due to it being against the law for them to have the relationship or is it up to my daughter to do that?
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First thing is that I would bring up to the board of directors of the facility to explain the actions of their co-worker or former co-worker if her no longer works there to resolve that issue at hand and to better address future worker to patient relationships and to prohibit such acts from happening again. There is a fine line that needs to be met and relationships are not suppose to be developed in an environment like that.

But being the fact now that she is 18 she is legally capable of making her own decisions unless you find her reasonably incompetent to make her own decisions which you would then have to prove to the courts without a reasonable doubt that she is mentally unstable to live a normal life and should be committed to a psychiatric facility for evaluation and treatment.

Other than that unless there is physical abuse, or drug abuse, or something illegal in such matters as that or in relation to that, then reporting it to the police is going to do you no good. Why do you want to do this in all reality??? Are you jealous of your daughter? Cause that is no reason to ruin her life...You should then be proud of her if she is happy and living a good life...

Is she your only child and you are afraid of losing her to him?

Sometimes you just need to grow up yourself then and detatch from your loved ones whether in death, moving to another place, or simply letting a loved one move on for what they believe is best for them in their lives and what makes them happy.

If you see no reason to interfere then its best to show support to her in any way you can and let her know how much you love her and how much you will be there for her unless you plan to lose your relationship with your daughter and don't care about the negativity she shows you...Sometimes you just need to live and let go.

But its up to you and what reasons you find for getting involved...Good Luck and Be Wise!
 
A

anonymous2

Guest
Is it not illigal for them to have a relationship or a sexual on for that matter? I thought that it is in the state of Iowa that they must wait one year to form any physical relationship. Can I use that with no proof of physical contact? And don't get me wrong I love my daughter and hope only for her happiness. I just want her to make wise choices and I don't believe this one is a very ethical relationship and it may cause her harm in the future.
 
O

OSNNG2L

Guest
anonymous2 said:
Is it not illigal for them to have a relationship or a sexual on for that matter? I thought that it is in the state of Iowa that they must wait one year to form any physical relationship. Can I use that with no proof of physical contact? And don't get me wrong I love my daughter and hope only for her happiness. I just want her to make wise choices and I don't believe this one is a very ethical relationship and it may cause her harm in the future.
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I guess depends upon how you look at it??? Was he a doctor, therapist, or something in relative nature? Cause after doing some careful research suchs act if having the status of Doctor, therapist, psychiatrist, counselor or something of that title would be considered a Class "D" Felony if having sexual relations with a patient in treatment or a patient after former treatment with one year after being discharged from treatment. Here is the information I found...:

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709.15 Sexual exploitation by a counselor or therapist.
1. As used in this section:

a. "Counselor or therapist" means a physician, psychologist, nurse, professional counselor, social worker, marriage or family therapist, alcohol or drug counselor, member of the clergy, or any other person, whether or not licensed or registered by the state, who provides or purports to provide mental health services.

b. "Emotionally dependent" means that the nature of the patient's or client's or former patient's or client's emotional condition or the nature of the treatment provided by the counselor or therapist is such that the counselor or therapist knows or has reason to know that the patient or client or former patient or client is significantly impaired in the ability to withhold consent to sexual conduct, as described in paragraph "f", by the counselor or therapist.

For the purposes of paragraph "f", a former patient or client is presumed to be emotionally dependent for one year following the termination of the provision of mental health services.

c. "Former patient or client" means a person who received mental health services from the counselor or therapist.

d. "Mental health service" means the treatment, assessment, or counseling of another person for a cognitive, behavioral, emotional, mental, or social dysfunction, including an intrapersonal or interpersonal dysfunction.

e. "Patient or client" means a person who receives mental health services from the counselor or therapist.

f. "Sexual exploitation by a counselor or therapist" occurs when any of the following are found:

(1) A pattern or practice or scheme of conduct to engage in any of the conduct described in subparagraph (2) or (3).

(2) Any sexual conduct, with an emotionally dependent patient or client or emotionally dependent former patient or client for the purpose of arousing or satisfying the sexual desires of the counselor or therapist or the emotionally dependent patient or client or emotionally dependent former patient or client, which includes but is not limited to the following: kissing; touching of the clothed or unclothed inner thigh, breast, groin, buttock, anus, pubes, or genitals; or a sex act as defined in section 702.17.

(3) Any sexual conduct with a patient or client or former patient or client within one year of the termination of the provision of mental health services by the counselor or therapist for the purpose of arousing or satisfying the sexual desires of the counselor or therapist or the patient or client or former patient or client which includes but is not limited to the following: kissing; touching of the clothed or unclothed inner thigh, breast, groin, buttock, anus, pubes, or genitals; or a sex act as defined in section 702.17.

"Sexual exploitation by a counselor or therapist" does not include touching which is part of a necessary examination or treatment provided a patient or client by a counselor or therapist acting within the scope of the practice or employment in which the counselor or therapist is engaged.

2. A counselor or therapist who commits sexual exploitation in violation of subsection 1, paragraph "f", subparagraph (1), commits a class "D" felony.

3. A counselor or therapist who commits sexual exploitation in violation of subsection 1, paragraph "f", subparagraph (2), commits an aggravated misdemeanor.

4. A counselor or therapist who commits sexual exploitation in violation of subsection 1, paragraph "f", subparagraph (3), commits a serious misdemeanor. In lieu of the sentence provided for under section 903.1, subsection 1, paragraph "b", the offender may be required to attend a sexual abuser treatment program.

Section History: Recent form
91 Acts, ch 130, § 2; 92 Acts, ch 1163, § 119; 92 Acts, ch 1199, § 2--;6

Internal References
Referred to in § 614.1, 692A.1, 702.11, 802.3

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The following information is in relations to article 702.17 under paragraph (f) sub section 3 to define such sexual acts:


702.17 Sex act.
The term "sex act" or "sexual activity" means any sexual contact between two or more persons by: penetration of the penis into the vagina or anus; contact between the mouth and genitalia or by contact between the genitalia of one person and the genitalia or anus of another person; contact between the finger or hand of one person and the genitalia or anus of another person, except in the course of examination or treatment by a person licensed pursuant to chapter 148, 148C, 150, 150A, 151, or 152; or by use of artificial sexual organs or substitutes therefor in contact with the genitalia or anus.

Section History: Early form
[C75, 77, § 725.1(7); C79, 81, § 702.17]

Section History: Recent form
89 Acts, ch 105, § 1; 89 Acts, ch 296, § 86

Internal References
Referred to in § 235B.2, 709.15, 709.18, 728.1, 728.14

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So if he is illegal then if you wish to do something about it, then its up to you to hire a lawyer willing to represent you in such a case if you wish to receive help in fighting it, or unless you plan to do it yourself??? But it looks to be quite possible to do if that is what you really want to do? Otherwise I see her as 18 and if she is happy and seems competent of her decisions I don't see reason to interfere...Everyone has their rights and freedom and sometimes some people just have to learn from their own mistakes...But that is my opinion...Its up to you.

The information gathered here was gathered from the following website:
Iowa Legislature

Good Luck and If I can be of any more help, please let me know...
 
A

anonymous2

Guest
I do not have proof of there sexual contact for that is something they would be doing behind closed doors. I have my suspicions, but no proof. If I wanted to pursue this would that be enough, or would I have to proove it in some way that it is happening? I don't think that I will, but I am just upset with the situation and do not believe it to be healthy for my daughter. She is 18 and able to make her own choices. I just feel that she may be dependent on this man and I want her to be in a healthy relationship.
 
O

OSNNG2L

Guest
anonymous2 said:
I do not have proof of there sexual contact for that is something they would be doing behind closed doors. I have my suspicions, but no proof. If I wanted to pursue this would that be enough, or would I have to proove it in some way that it is happening? I don't think that I will, but I am just upset with the situation and do not believe it to be healthy for my daughter. She is 18 and able to make her own choices. I just feel that she may be dependent on this man and I want her to be in a healthy relationship.
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It all depends upon what you feel is right for her, but then again what she believes is right for her is sometimes better than what anyone else could ever believe in...So you need to figure out what you want to do. If you were to pursue the issues any further, then you most definitely need a witness or witnesses or some physical proof on the contrary rather than just your word...Cause sometimes words are just not enough. But that is your call...just remember that now that she is 18 its not really at all about what you want any more...Its about what she wants...But you do have the right to voice a concern or opinion...

But I hope what ever it is that you do it for the right reasons...

If you need me further please feel free to holler out at me again...;)
 
H

hmmbrdzz

Guest
anonymous2 said:
What is the name of your state? IA

My daughter was in a residintial treatment for about six months prior to her 18th birthday in Dec. 2002. She began a relationship with a male who used to work at the facility about 2 monthes after she had left the program. I do not know if they are having sexual contact, but I can only imagin. I was wondering if there is any legal way that I can stop this relationship. I know that my daughter will not. In other words, due to me being her mother can I tell the police due to it being against the law for them to have the relationship or is it up to my daughter to do that?
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You've gotten some good info on the definitions of sexual exploitation by a therapist, doctor, etc., but I can't help but add that I believe -- for obvious reasons -- you have every right to be upset that your daughter was in an in-house rehab facility and two months later began a relationship with a worker of that facility (who is now former worker). I can only guess (and hope) that "jealousy" would have absolutely nothing to do with why you are upset over this development. And of course her "happiness" does matter, but then again -- her "happiness" really doesn't preclude your responsibility as "her mother" (because in reality an 18 yr old can be happy with a pint of whiskey, a pocketfull of weed, and a few grams of meth -- supplied by an older male figure -- one she met in rehab when she was 17 and completely vulnerable, not only because of her age but because of where she was). I don't even know if your daughter is staying "sober", but I do know that the odds are not good for her (and it's my personal and professional opinion that this relationship she has going on with this former rehab employee is not a healthy one).

What licensure or certification, if any, did this male employee have? How old is he? Rehab facilities attract employees that are sometimes not stable.

This situation has placed you in a catch 22 position, i.e. you're kind of "damned if you do" (but your daughter might be damned if you don't). The facility does not necessarily need "witnesses" to launch an internal investigation after having received a complaint of this nature from a parent or from an outside agency. I think you have every reason to be concerned and to want an answer (or at least expect an investigation of some sort by that facility).

If this was a state-run facility (even if it's not), you can call the AG's office and explain what is going on and express how you believe this has placed your daughter (and you -- because you are her mother) in a bad position. You can flat out tell them "I want this worker investigated, but I don't want my daughter embarrassed further from this". See what they say.

Good luck. I hope your daughter is doing OK.


hmmbrdzz
 

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