Innappropriate behavior with a minor(15)

[Josh the idiot]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Nevada

So here is what happened:

I was staying the night at my friends house. When I got ready to go to sleep at his house, I made a bed on the floor. My friend Mike(the dad) brought me a blanket and noticed there was not a blanket on Sara's(the daughter) bed when I was getting a pillow from the closet. I texted Sara and told her she could have the blanket if she wanted it. She came a few minutes later and gave me a quick peck goodnight and took the blanket. She texted me back after some time passed and asked if I wanted the blanket back, I assumed she didn’t need it after all. I said ok. She came out and set the blanket down, kneeled down and immediately started kissing me and then straddled on me like a lap dance. I was overwhelmed and we kissed and I touched her breasts outside her shirt and after 2 minutes we stopped and as she was getting up her hand slid down my chest and my hands out of reaction, touched her hand and with no force, it ended up on my silk boxers, it all happened so fast. She touched me for 2-3 seconds and she continued to get up and went back to her room. I felt bad and so did she and I texted her that I wish she could come back because I was thinking I wanted to just hug her and tell her I was sorry that we did that. She was sorry too. We decided to just go to sleep and we didn't see anymore of each other. We wanted to forget it ever happened so we agreed to delete all texts surrounding what we had done. I left the next day

I guess she told Mike(her dad) the next day and he started texting me from her phone posing as her to push me and see how far I would go. I replied to a few of the texts in a less than appropriate manner as I thought she was just messing with me, Then she(he) started saying more personal stuff and I realized that this was stupid and wrong and started backing away. She said that she wanted to give me her virginity and I told her that it was precious and that she needed to hold on to that for a few more years, and that she needed to focus on school. The texts ended as Mike realized I would not do that with her.

I told Mike after a few weeks what had happened because I felt really bad and thought he should know. He of course already knew and told me that he and Sara already made a statement to the police and they were gathering evidence(phone records) before presenting to the DA. Mike understands that Sara had a part in this and although I messed up and have damaged our friendship, he doesn't really want to press charges since what happened did not go to far, it was mutual and I knew I got caught up in the heat of the moment. In addition, he was pleased that I brought it to his attention on my own. He told me he is going to the courthouse to make a statement on my behalf and see if it can be dropped as he realized that I am very remorse about the situation and that no good can come from proceeding.

My question is, if the ex-wife pushes on with this, what should I do to minimize the damage? I feel horrible that this all happened and have been beating myself up for it since it happened. Both Mike and Sara do not want to see me go through all this because I made a stupid mistake.

I am 37. Yes, I know how bad that is, I did not "prey" on her, it just happened. It is my fault that I did not push her away. I am ashamed of myself and have to live with that for the rest of my life.

Thank you for any positive input to my situation.

 

[seniorjudge]

...I did not "prey" on her...

Of course you did.

Hire a very good lawyer.

You will need it.

 

[xylene]

You need to get an attorney to advise and if need be defend you.

Yesterday.

You need to stop making apologetic confessions too.

You need to zip it and stay AWAY from mike, his daughter and anyone connected to this.

No further contact.

 

[Josh the idiot]

What I mean when I say prey, is that I wasn't looking for this to happen and I did not initiate.

I have already had lengthy conversations with Mike about this and explained to him everything I wrote here and he got the same story from Sara, so there isn't a he said she said issue. Mike has said he knows and has proof that I had/have no intention of having sex with her. Everybody but the mom agrees that it was wrong and wants to move on, with the exception that I lost them as friends.

I am not asking to be berated here, just opinions that are constructive.

Thanks
J

 

[>Charlotte<]

Now that the police have been advised of what happened, you are facing a criminal charge. Your friend(s) have no control over a criminal charge. He's not the one that will "press charges" nor will he be the one to decide if the case gets dropped. That's the DA's job.

You're facing some serious charges. You're not going to be the only one on the Sex Offender Registry who thinks he's not really a sex offender.

Get a lawyer. Now.

Also, get some counseling. You have issues.

 

[Silverplum]

You are THIRTY SEVEN YEARS OLD.

The girl is FIFTEEN.

It doesn't take a JD to know you're in the wrong here. Legally, morally, every kind of wrong.

Take the advice the smart men have given you.

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Nevada

So here is what happened:

I was staying the night at my friends house. When I got ready to go to sleep at his house, I made a bed on the floor. My friend Mike(the dad) brought me a blanket and noticed there was not a blanket on Sara's(the daughter) bed when I was getting a pillow from the closet. I texted Sara and told her she could have the blanket if she wanted it. She came a few minutes later and gave me a quick peck goodnight and took the blanket. She texted me back after some time passed and asked if I wanted the blanket back, I assumed she didn’t need it after all. I said ok. She came out and set the blanket down, kneeled down and immediately started kissing me and then straddled on me like a lap dance. I was overwhelmed and we kissed and I touched her breasts outside her shirt and after 2 minutes we stopped and as she was getting up her hand slid down my chest and my hands out of reaction, touched her hand and with no force, it ended up on my silk boxers, it all happened so fast. She touched me for 2-3 seconds and she continued to get up and went back to her room. I felt bad and so did she and I texted her that I wish she could come back because I was thinking I wanted to just hug her and tell her I was sorry that we did that. She was sorry too. We decided to just go to sleep and we didn't see anymore of each other. We wanted to forget it ever happened so we agreed to delete all texts surrounding what we had done. I left the next day

I guess she told Mike(her dad) the next day and he started texting me from her phone posing as her to push me and see how far I would go. I replied to a few of the texts in a less than appropriate manner as I thought she was just messing with me, Then she(he) started saying more personal stuff and I realized that this was stupid and wrong and started backing away. She said that she wanted to give me her virginity and I told her that it was precious and that she needed to hold on to that for a few more years, and that she needed to focus on school. The texts ended as Mike realized I would not do that with her.

I told Mike after a few weeks what had happened because I felt really bad and thought he should know. He of course already knew and told me that he and Sara already made a statement to the police and they were gathering evidence(phone records) before presenting to the DA. Mike understands that Sara had a part in this and although I messed up and have damaged our friendship, he doesn't really want to press charges since what happened did not go to far, it was mutual and I knew I got caught up in the heat of the moment. In addition, he was pleased that I brought it to his attention on my own. He told me he is going to the courthouse to make a statement on my behalf and see if it can be dropped as he realized that I am very remorse about the situation and that no good can come from proceeding.

My question is, if the ex-wife pushes on with this, what should I do to minimize the damage? I feel horrible that this all happened and have been beating myself up for it since it happened. Both Mike and Sara do not want to see me go through all this because I made a stupid mistake.

I am 37. Yes, I know how bad that is, I did not "prey" on her, it just happened. It is my fault that I did not push her away. I am ashamed of myself and have to live with that for the rest of my life.

Thank you for any positive input to my situation.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
What I mean when I say prey, is that I wasn't looking for this to happen and I did not initiate.

I have already had lengthy conversations with Mike about this and explained to him everything I wrote here and he got the same story from Sara, so there isn't a he said she said issue. Mike has said he knows and has proof that I had/have no intention of having sex with her. Everybody but the mom agrees that it was wrong and wants to move on, with the exception that I lost them as friends.

I am not asking to be berated here, just opinions that are constructive.

Thanks
J

 

[xylene]

What I mean when I say prey, is that I wasn't looking for this to happen and I did not initiate.

This attitude is flawed. This "Lolita strumpet" thing is not a defense.

Sure you didn't pole her, man get this -

Feeling on her breasts was most likely, in fact certainly a criminal act.

I have already had lengthy conversations with Mike about this and explained to him everything I wrote here and he got the same story from Sara, so there isn't a he said she said issue. Mike has said he knows and has proof that I had/have no intention of having sex with her. Everybody but the mom agrees that it was wrong and wants to move on, with the exception that I lost them as friends.

How they feel is not relevant. In the end it will be the DA who will pursue any criminal prosecution

I am not asking to be berated here, just opinions that are constructive.

Senior Judge's advice is sound.

You need a lawyer, the potential criminal charges a very serious - your post suggest that you have committed a sex crime.

 

[>Charlotte<]

1. If he is 21 years of age or older, for a category C felony as provided in NRS 193.130.

(c) A category C felony is a felony for which a court shall sentence a convicted person to imprisonment in the state prison for a minimum term of not less than 1 year and a maximum term of not more than 5 years. In addition to any other penalty, the court may impose a fine of not more than $10,000, unless a greater fine is authorized or required by statute.

 

[BL]

I read only the fist few sentences of your post .

Text messages ?

Please give us all on the forum a break .

We are not stupid , like you would like us to be .

You'll need a lawyer for sure .

 

[BlondiePB]

I read the first paragraph... and thought this is a novel. I don't read fiction.

 

[snowshuze]

Dude. You had contact of a sexual nature with a CHILD. Get a psychiatrist AND lawyer YESTERDAY.

My 2 cents.

 

[Peligroso27]

You are going to get the chance to register with the state and any state you live in from now on. When you do go to jail, you will get to see how she felt when you sexually assaulted her. You were completely cognizant of your actions and knew that night you had done the wrong thing. Now you get to pay the price.

 

[Antigone*]

OP - you make me sick!!!

This is disgusting, utterly disgusting.

I don't even know how you can say this behavior was "inappropriate". It wasn't inappropriate - it is repulsive.

There are times that I feel our whole, innocent until proven guilty and trial process is b.s. - and this would qualify for one of those instances.

This is certainly one time I wish we could stick this repulsive, pathetic excuse for in a human being a very deep, dark dungeon and throw away the key.

 

[xylene]

This is disgusting, utterly disgusting.

I don't even know how you can say this behavior was "inappropriate". It wasn't inappropriate - it is repulsive.

There are times that I feel our whole, innocent until proven guilty and trial process is b.s. - and this would qualify for one of those instances.

This is certainly one time I wish we could stick this repulsive, pathetic excuse for in a human being a very deep, dark dungeon and throw away the key.

It's not that bad. let's not blow the legal system apart and stop having trials and ignore prohibitions on cruel and unusual punishments over some guy feeling the mams of a definitely post pubescent girl.

 

[Antigone*]

It's not that bad. let's not blow the legal system apart and stop having trials and ignore prohibitions on cruel and unusual punishments over some guy feeling the mams of a definitely post pubescent girl.

Ok, you're right Xylene, I did go a bit overboard about the dungeons. And if we blow up the legal system, what would all the out-of-work lawyers do. My line of business is already been blown up to kingdom come this week we don't need any more

It is really disturbing though how this guy has behaved. What on earth is this guy doing texting the 15-yr old.

He has the nerve to say that he is not a predator: He has the nerve to say that he is not ashamed? Look at his posting, it reads like a novel. A person with real remorse would have simply said that they inappropriatley touched and molested a teen ager. No this guy make a soap opera scene out of his crime.

And then, he does what ever other predator says "Mike understands that Sara had a part in this and although I messed up and have damaged our friendship, he doesn't really want to press charges since what happened did not go to far, it was mutual and I knew I got caught up in the heat of the moment." Sure blame it on Sara.

I'm sorry for the "berating" and belitting, Josh-the-idiot. Take it like a man, Josh. You deserve a whole heck of a lot more than the few lines of anger and animosity I dished out.