a juvenile crime

[lookitsmary]

for the Illinois parent

What is the name of your state? FLORIDA.
I HAVE A 15 YEAR OLD SON THAT FOR YEARS ME AND HIS FATHER HAVE PREACHED TO HIM ABOUT GUILT BY ASSOCIATION. OBVIOUSLY THIS DID NOT SINK IN. ON NOVEMBER 14TH HE WAS TAKEN INTO CUSTODY. THE CHARGES WERE CRIMINAL MISCHIEF AND THEFT. HE WAS AT A LOCAL TEEN CENTER WITH SOME OF HIS SO CALLED FRIENDS AND WAS THERE TO WATCH ONE OF HIS FRIENDS FIGHT SOME KID. THE KID DID NOT COME OUT OF THE TEEN CENTER SO THERE WAS NO FIGHT. THANK GOODNESS THEN ONE OF THE FIVE BOYS THAT WAS THERE TOOK A BRICK AND BROKE THE LOCK ON THE BIKE OF THE BOY THAT WOULDN'T COME OUT AND FIGHT. HE BROKE THE LOCK WITH THE BRICK AND THEN WENT INTO THE TEEN CENTER AND GOT A SCREW DRIVER FROM ONE OF THE EMPLOYEES TO FINISH THE JOB AND HE TOOK THE BIKE THEN GAVE IT TO THE OTHER FOUR WHO PROCEEDED ON STRIPPING THE BIKE. THE POLICE WERE CALLED AND THE FOUR OF THEM WERE PUT INTO CUSTODY. THE BOY THAT TOOK THE BIKE BY BRAKING THE LOCK WITH HE ASSISTANCE OF THE EMPLOYEE OF THE TEEN CENTER WAS NOT ARRESTED AS A MATTER OF FACT THE BOY WHO'S BIKE IT WAS SAID THAT THE BOY THAT BROKE THE LOCK AND TOOK THE BIKE HAD PERMISSION TO HAVE THE BIKE. DOESN'T THAT MAKE IT NOT A STOLEN BIKE? THE POLICE TOOK MY SON INTO CUSTODY AT APPROXIMATELY 8 PM AND I KNEW NOTHING ABOUT THIS UNTIL 1:45 AM WHEN THEY WERE DONE WITH THE PAPER WORK AND THEY CALLED US TO GO PICK HIM UP. I HAVE SINCE TAKEN MY SON TO BOOT CAMP TOUR THAT THEY OFFER HERE AND WAS JUST YESTERDAY INFORMED THAT HE WILL NOT HAVE TO GO TO COURT SINCE THIS IS JUST HIS FIRST TIME BEING IN TROUBLE. STILL WITH A CHARGE OF PETY THEFT. I DO NOT THINK THIS IS FAIR. WHY SHOULD HE BE CHARGED WITH THEFT OF A BIKE THAT WAS GIVEN TO HIM AND HIS FRIENDS BY A BOY THAT HAD PERMISSION TO HAVE THE BIKE? HOW WILL THIS AFFECT HIS GETTING INTO THE JOB FORCE AS HE WILL BE 16 EARLY FEB. I SENT HIM TO THE BOOT CAMP ON MY OWN AND THEY SAY THAT IT IS A GOOD THING AND WILL LOOK GOOD TO WHATEVER DEVERSIONARY ACTION OFFICE CONTACTS ME TO DEAL WITH MY SON AND THIS CHARGE. I AM NOT SAYING THAT MY SON WASN'T WRONG FOR BEING THERE AND HE HAS AN OUT STANDING TRESSPASSING WARRENT FOR THE NEXT 12 MONTHS SO THAT HE WILL NOT GO TO THE TEEN CENTER OR ANYWHERE ON THE PARK GROUNDS WHERE IT IS LOCATED. THEN SOME SMALL SLAP ON THE HAND IF EVEN THAT BUT IT IS THE THEFT CHARGE THAT DISTURBES ME. WHAT DO YOU THINK? AND WHAT ABOUT ACTION TO BE TAKEN ON THE EMPLOYEE OF THE TEEN CENTER? SHE WATCHED THE WHOLE THING.
THANK YOU IN ADVANCE FOR YOUR PROMPT ATTENTION TO THIS MATTER.
LOOKITSMARY

 

[I AM ALWAYS LIABLE]

What is the name of your state? FLORIDA.
I HAVE A 15 YEAR OLD SON THAT FOR YEARS ME AND HIS FATHER HAVE PREACHED TO HIM ABOUT GUILT BY ASSOCIATION. OBVIOUSLY THIS DID NOT SINK IN. ON NOVEMBER 14TH HE WAS TAKEN INTO CUSTODY. THE CHARGES WERE CRIMINAL MISCHIEF AND THEFT. HE WAS AT A LOCAL TEEN CENTER WITH SOME OF HIS SO CALLED FRIENDS AND WAS THERE TO WATCH ONE OF HIS FRIENDS FIGHT SOME KID. THE KID DID NOT COME OUT OF THE TEEN CENTER SO THERE WAS NO FIGHT. THANK GOODNESS THEN ONE OF THE FIVE BOYS THAT WAS THERE TOOK A BRICK AND BROKE THE LOCK ON THE BIKE OF THE BOY THAT WOULDN'T COME OUT AND FIGHT. HE BROKE THE LOCK WITH THE BRICK AND THEN WENT INTO THE TEEN CENTER AND GOT A SCREW DRIVER FROM ONE OF THE EMPLOYEES TO FINISH THE JOB AND HE TOOK THE BIKE THEN GAVE IT TO THE OTHER FOUR WHO PROCEEDED ON STRIPPING THE BIKE. THE POLICE WERE CALLED AND THE FOUR OF THEM WERE PUT INTO CUSTODY. THE BOY THAT TOOK THE BIKE BY BRAKING THE LOCK WITH HE ASSISTANCE OF THE EMPLOYEE OF THE TEEN CENTER WAS NOT ARRESTED AS A MATTER OF FACT THE BOY WHO'S BIKE IT WAS SAID THAT THE BOY THAT BROKE THE LOCK AND TOOK THE BIKE HAD PERMISSION TO HAVE THE BIKE. DOESN'T THAT MAKE IT NOT A STOLEN BIKE? THE POLICE TOOK MY SON INTO CUSTODY AT APPROXIMATELY 8 PM AND I KNEW NOTHING ABOUT THIS UNTIL 1:45 AM WHEN THEY WERE DONE WITH THE PAPER WORK AND THEY CALLED US TO GO PICK HIM UP. I HAVE SINCE TAKEN MY SON TO BOOT CAMP TOUR THAT THEY OFFER HERE AND WAS JUST YESTERDAY INFORMED THAT HE WILL NOT HAVE TO GO TO COURT SINCE THIS IS JUST HIS FIRST TIME BEING IN TROUBLE. STILL WITH A CHARGE OF PETY THEFT. I DO NOT THINK THIS IS FAIR. WHY SHOULD HE BE CHARGED WITH THEFT OF A BIKE THAT WAS GIVEN TO HIM AND HIS FRIENDS BY A BOY THAT HAD PERMISSION TO HAVE THE BIKE? HOW WILL THIS AFFECT HIS GETTING INTO THE JOB FORCE AS HE WILL BE 16 EARLY FEB. I SENT HIM TO THE BOOT CAMP ON MY OWN AND THEY SAY THAT IT IS A GOOD THING AND WILL LOOK GOOD TO WHATEVER DEVERSIONARY ACTION OFFICE CONTACTS ME TO DEAL WITH MY SON AND THIS CHARGE. I AM NOT SAYING THAT MY SON WASN'T WRONG FOR BEING THERE AND HE HAS AN OUT STANDING TRESSPASSING WARRENT FOR THE NEXT 12 MONTHS SO THAT HE WILL NOT GO TO THE TEEN CENTER OR ANYWHERE ON THE PARK GROUNDS WHERE IT IS LOCATED. THEN SOME SMALL SLAP ON THE HAND IF EVEN THAT BUT IT IS THE THEFT CHARGE THAT DISTURBES ME. WHAT DO YOU THINK? AND WHAT ABOUT ACTION TO BE TAKEN ON THE EMPLOYEE OF THE TEEN CENTER? SHE WATCHED THE WHOLE THING.
THANK YOU IN ADVANCE FOR YOUR PROMPT ATTENTION TO THIS MATTER.
LOOKITSMARY

You must be BRIEF and to the point. Please type in lower case letters.

 

[hmmbrdzz]

Jeez, LOOK it's Mary, you're blinding me with this story! Anyhow.....you've got a boy who was admittedly somewhere to watch a fight. That's not good. He then stood around and watched a brick being used to disengage a lock on a bike so some other kids could strip it down with a screwdriver (one they no doubtedly got their hands on from the establishment because they lied about what it would be used for). The kid (owner of the bike) who said "oh yeah... they've got permission to bash my bike to pieces and strip it" was probably scared to death and was afraid his testimony against these kids would bring harm to him -- so he pawned himself out. And no.... that does not make this bike "not stolen". He should be charged with pety theft, and you should not dispute this charge (or encourage him to) because to do so will only encourage him to commit worse crimes down the road. Yes, this crime will be known by his future employers, as he will be required to put it on an application. But that doesn't mean he can't get some "good points" (such as bootcamp) behind him to show his employer his good intentions. No action should occur against the employee of the teen center. That's probably who called the police. Develop your theory "guilty by association" and stand by it. It will pay off.

good luck

And if you write back, definitely put it in LOWER CASE letters

hmmbrdzz

 

[Illinois Parent]

Let me count the ways this disturbs me....

First, you write all puffed up with self-righteous indignation because your son was charged with a crime that by your own admission, he was a party to committing. The 'actual' charges aren't being pursued because the child/victim won't go forward. And you think your son should then be let off the hook.

Let's see, so what you're saying is your son is a bully, and he and some of his bully friends were going to watch another beat up some kid. Because this kid didn't want to get his butt kicked, he wouldn't come out. Then, because he didn't want to get his butt kicked, he lied and got the ring leader off the hook. But your son isn't the one who took the brick, got the screwdriver, etc.

I have a hard time deciding which is worse, being the bully or being the one to stand behind the bully. Standing there silent or worse, being an active encouragement to bullying is wrong on more levels than I can count. The only thing more wrong is not making this the over-riding concern as the parent. How would you feel if it was your son who was being taunted to come out and get his butt kicked? How would you feel if there were a group of kids tearing apart your son's bike, but he didn't want to press charges for fear of what would happen next? I can bet your son's life that you would be outraged that these kids weren't having the book thrown at them. You'd be screaming at the top of your lungs about what is wrong with kids these days.

Let me give you the simple answer. YOU and parents like you are what is wrong with kids these days. You see nothing wrong with the entire situation, only that your precious now will have 'charges' on his record. And you're going to run to the rescue, absolving him of responsibility in any way you can. Here's a clue...let the kid be responsible, for all of it, and not just for who was there with. Let him understand the responsibility he bears for being there in the first place, for participating in the first place. But, in order for that to happen, you'll have to understand how wrong that was yourself.

I'm sure we'll be hearing from you again in the not too distant future. Then it will be that your son is charged with "x", and you'll list all the ways he isn't really guilty, or that others are just as guilty and it is so unfair. How unfair is it to the kid who got his bike torn apart because he wouldn't get into a fight with a nice little crowd watching?

There are a lot of school districts around the country that have new, very pro-active anti-bullying programs. And they are and will continue to be a dismal failure until PARENTS teach their children simple respect and good manners.

 

[lookitsmary]

to the illinois parent

before you bash me as a parent let me tell you that i and my son have been on the other side of this action. he has had several bikes stolen and has been chased home many times from school from kids bigger and bader than himself. where we live it is all one big fight. i speek on a daily basis with the officers that are at these schools about on going wars and so on. i do not feel what my son did is alright by any means, or under any circumstances but also know that since November 14 the day of the arrest my son is the only one of the involved kids that has not seen the light of day other than to attend school and i took him immediately to the county stockade for a boot camp tour that i had to find myself with no help from the police department where he did get "bounced" around a bit. i live in a hard neighborhood. this is no excuse for his actions and that is the reason i have cut him off from his friends. i cannot afford to live anywhere else i am guilty for that. but do not call me a bad parent. i do not drink i do not do drugs we all attend church on sunday and i disaplaine my children. my son is a 15 year old that has paid more of a price than the juvie court gave two of the others who have prior records one of whom was arrested just 10 days earlier for shop lifting. today is christmas eve and it is off to teen court for him. he will be made to do whatever they feel is right i am not fighting that i am worried about his future and this ONE legal discrepancy. also by the way in this state he will not have to put on a job application about his arrest. in florida job applications are designed for 18 year olds and up. as far as the law is concerned here minors are never arrested they are only taken into custody. this is from the states attorney's office. so thank you for your advice for what it is worth and i will handle this one on my own. merry christmas.
lookitsmary

 

[salldrin]

Mary, hang in there. Sounds like you are doing all you can to help your son through some bad choices. You are doing the right thing to keep him away from other kids that choose to violate and abuse others. It is hard to do that with teens that are attracted to friends that break the law and bully. Keep up the good work, as parenting is not easy. Let your son learn from this mistake. If he does it again, and again then you have another problem to deal with but move on and hopefully he will grow into a responsible, young man with all of your support and guidance.