My Husband sexually abused my (then) 11 year old sister

[M.E.R.]

What is the name of your state? Happened in Colorado

Please help! I recently found out that my Husband of 23 years has been surfing the net for child porn. When I confronted him with it he went ballistic! He filed for divorce the next day and began accusing me of being insane. When I told my younger sister what was happening she told me that she has kept something from me all these years... He did things to her when she was only 11 years old and it has had a profound effect on her entire life, including a serious suicide attempt at 14. My Husband is in the Air Force but they told me they have no Jurisdiction in this because he was not military at the time of the "alleged" crime.

My sister didn't tell me this until now for many reasons, but she did tell other people years ago. I am trying very hard to make sure that he pays for what he did to her (and to me, I have lived a 23 year lie with a pedophile) but every step I take I run into another brick wall. I live in Nevada now but what he did to my sister took place in Colorado over 20 years ago.

Any advise on how to proceed?

 

[Boxcarbill]

What is the name of your state? Happened in Colorado

Please help! I recently found out that my Husband of 23 years has been surfing the net for child porn. When I confronted him with it he went ballistic! He filed for divorce the next day and began accusing me of being insane. When I told my younger sister what was happening she told me that she has kept something from me all these years... He did things to her when she was only 11 years old and it has had a profound effect on her entire life, including a serious suicide attempt at 14. My Husband is in the Air Force but they told me they have no Jurisdiction in this because he was not military at the time of the "alleged" crime.

My sister didn't tell me this until now for many reasons, but she did tell other people years ago. I am trying very hard to make sure that he pays for what he did to her (and to me, I have lived a 23 year lie with a pedophile) but every step I take I run into another brick wall. I live in Nevada now but what he did to my sister took place in Colorado over 20 years ago.


If your sister was 11 years old 20 years ago and allowing for her to reach the age of majority (18) to file a sexual assault charge that still leaves the passage of another 13 years. I don't know what the statute of limitations is on sexual assault in CO but she may well have waited too long to prosecute. If she is interested in pursuing it, she should speak with a CO lawyer.

 

[M.E.R.]

I believe that the statute of limitations is 6 years past the age of majority. Unfortunately she has probably waited too long to prosecute under normal circumstances. I did learn that it is still possible to prosecute because he left the State soon after the abuse stopped.. it makes very little sense to me, but that's what a JAG attorney told me.

Her life has REALLY been affected by this and he CAN'T get away with it! More than anything I want it on record so that he isn't able to continue hurting people.. but I also want him to pay for what he did to her. If she can't pursue this in criminal court, can she press charges in a civil suit? When she tried to kill herself he called her "stupid" and "weak" even though he KNEW it was his fault!.. he is a truly horrible man!

 

[Boxcarbill]

I believe that the statute of limitations is 6 years past the age of majority. Unfortunately she has probably waited too long to prosecute under normal circumstances. I did learn that it is still possible to prosecute because he left the State soon after the abuse stopped.. it makes very little sense to me, but that's what a JAG attorney told me.

Her life has REALLY been affected by this and he CAN'T get away with it! More than anything I want it on record so that he isn't able to continue hurting people.. but I also want him to pay for what he did to her. If she can't pursue this in criminal court, can she press charges in a civil suit? When she tried to kill herself he called her "stupid" and "weak" even though he KNEW it was his fault!.. he is a truly horrible man!

Oh I really don't think the JAG attorney know of what he is speaking. While it is true that the statute of limitation is tolled while a defendant is fleeing the state in order to avoid prosecution that is not what we are dealing with here. In this situation there was never any charges filed for him to be fleeing from prosecution. Statute of limitations would not be tolled.

 

[calatty]

Many states now have extended statutes of limitations for sexual assaults on children. In CA for example, a child molestation can be prosecuted even 30 years later so long as the prosecution commences within one year from when the victim reports the crime. Age of majority has nothing to do with anything. If she wants to undertake a prosecution, she should report it to the police and the DA can tell you if the statute has run.

 

[I AM ALWAYS LIABLE]

Many states now have extended statutes of limitations for sexual assaults on children. In CA for example, a child molestation can be prosecuted even 30 years later so long as the prosecution commences within one year from when the victim reports the crime. Age of majority has nothing to do with anything. If she wants to undertake a prosecution, she should report it to the police and the DA can tell you if the statute has run.

My response:

Here in California, actions for damages for childhood sexual abuse may only be brought within 8 years after the plaintiff becomes an adult, or 3 years after discovering that an injury or illness suffered as an adult was caused by childhood sexual abuse, whichever is later. [Ca Civ Pro § 340.1; see Doyle v. Fenster (1996) 47 Cal.App.4th 1701, 1707, 55 Cal.Rptr.2d 327, 330]

Claims against third parties barred if plaintiff age 26 or older:
Plaintiffs age 26 or older can sue only the person who committed the childhood sexual abuse; suits against third persons whose negligent or intentional acts were allegedly the legal cause of the abuse are barred. [See Ca Civ Pro § 340.1(b)]

IAAL

 

[calatty]

I did some quick research and it looks like for a criminal prosecution for child molestation, the statute of limitations is extended only to 10 years in Colorado. Another thing to consider is that people who surf the net for child pornography tend to download it when they find it and keep it on their hard drives or on disk. Possession of child pornography is a crime in most states and it is a federal crime too.

 

[loocpoc]

Contact AF OSI.

 

[AmosMoses]

M.E.R.

I hope that you saw what calatty posted and act on it ASAP. I don't know what it would take to get his hard drive "looked at", but I do know that child porn on the 'Net is serious bad business. If he gets caught with that sort of stuff on his PC, well, he's in a world of hurt. But, I am wondering if it is you that tips the authorities if he will simply say that you downloaded the material when ya'll were together simply to report him later on. I know it sounds like something off of TV, but you never know. Maybe it's better to amend my first line of this post to say that you need to keep that in mind. I would hate for you to go about it the wrong way and only tip him off, but I do think that it is something to think about. Well, now that I have confused you enough, I better quit while I am behind. I hope that you can get some measure of justice here. To me, there is absolutely nothing worse than an animal that preys on kids....NOTHING!

I once read a book about kid hackers, and one of them grew up, went "legit", and started a program to assist law enforcement in tracking down 'Net perverts and child porn sickos. Maybe you can contact that fellow and see if he has any suggestions :

http://www.genocide2600.com/

There is a link there to email him...he goes by the name of genocide, but believe me, the guy isn't some sort of Pol Pot. It was not the wisest choice of a name, but once he got it, he stuck with it.

Good luck to you.

 

[apples&oranges]

Posted by calatty:

Many states now have extended statutes of limitations for sexual assaults on children. In CA for example, a child molestation can be prosecuted even 30 years later so long as the prosecution commences within one year from when the victim reports the crime. Age of majority has nothing to do with anything. If she wants to undertake a prosecution, she should report it to the police and the DA can tell you if the statute has run.
_____

Is this the California statute you're referring to calatty?


Tuesday, August 31, 1999

Rescinding of Molestation Case Deadline Upheld

By: MAURA DOLAN
L.A. TIMES LEGAL AFFAIRS WRITER

The California Supreme Court decided Monday that a defendant may be charged with child molestation even if the alleged crime took place years or decades before a complaint was made to police.
In a 4-3 ruling, the state high court said a 1994 state law that virtually eliminated the statute of limitations for child molestation can be applied retroactively to child molestation cases in which the legal deadline for prosecution had expired.

_____

California Penal Code

803 (g) (1) Notwithstanding any other limitation of time described in
this chapter, a criminal complaint may be filed within one year of
the date of a report to a California law enforcement agency by a
person of any age alleging that he or she, while under the age of 18
years, was the victim of a crime described in Section 261, 286, 288,
288a, 288.5, 289, or 289.5.

 

[M.E.R.]

Thank you for your replies.

I have spoken with AF OSI.. basically they said there is nothing I can do because even if they look into the computer they can't prove that he was the one downloading, there were other people who used the computer. They can't do anything about my sis because he was not in the Air Force when it happened (they have no jurisdiction).

Right now it looks like our only option is a civil suit. That isn't good enough imo because he will not have to register as a sex offender.

Is it any wonder that our children aren't safe? Most child sex abuse victims don't report the crime for so many reasons: fear, shame, embarrasment etc.. by the time they do report it there is nothing that the law will do
this makes me so angry!!

 

[loocpoc]

Congressional inquiries do wonders to AF OSI especially when congressmen hear about molestation of our children.

 

[Boxcarbill]

Is it any wonder that our children aren't safe? Most child sex abuse victims don't report the crime for so many reasons: fear, shame, embarrasment etc.. by the time they do report it there is nothing that the law will do
this makes me so angry!!

Too say that "by the time they do report it there is nothing that the law will do" is a gross exaggeration based upon your sister's case. The law not only can but with great regularity does prosecute sexual assaults on a child; but in your sister case, no report was made during the 17 years in which the law could have done something.

 

[vida]

xxx

 

[Multimom]

This won't really help you, but the average pedophile will have any where between 100-150 victims over his life time.

Only about 1% are ever actually caught. so these statistics are based on information gathered from the ones who were caught.

Can you now imagine the number of children who are molested and the molester is never stopped?

I hope you can get legal advice and get as much out of him as possible.

You might try finding out what other "military" code of conduct he may have violated and thus make him under UCMJ jurisdiction, for example, dui's, marital infidelity etc. Any number of things could get him "administratively separated." And if Admin Separation that is put on his discharge, consequently following him for pretty much the rest of his employment life.

I hope you find a way to make him responsible.