need advice on sons problem

[ninnie]

What is the name of your state? N.YMy son was arrested for damaging property,of 8 cases of water, a $120.00 value.He was also arrested for breaking into a store a $15.00 value which he was not charged with if he chose not go to court and be placed in the care of OCFS and was sent To Camp Cass residential center.He has now been arrested at Camp Cass for assualt 3rd.He recieved time served and another placement.I do not believe this is the best placement for him now.He has a court appointed laywer, who is working on his appeal,which he was sentenced back in July.My son is now 16 yrs old.Can I get a laywer on my behalf to try to help my son,or does he have to do it?I just feel this faculty is not the best place for him and I pushed to have him sent there.But there have been so many things done to my son and this place is making him worse.My son has a medical condition,which these people do not want to take into consideration.I believe my son is wrong and I tried getting so much help for him through so many agencies and never got anywhere with probation or any agencies I was in contact with.The only time I finally did get help was through my advocate for the blind association.I thought this was the best option at the time .So if someone could please answer my question

 

[ninnie]

Thanks anyways

I can see i was wrong about maybe getting help through here this was just as much help as all the state and government agencies i dealt with.thanks anyways have a nice day

 

[hmmbrdzz]

Well now wait a minute -- I just read your note. It's been here for 4 days, I see, but you might be able to get some help. My first question would be -- why did an advocate for the blind go to bat for him. Second question: can you afford your own counsel? What agencies have you spoken to so far, and what have they told you about the probability of gettting other legal assistance? Since your son has got a court appointed attorney, you may be up against some things that I would not know how to advise you even if you answered these questions. I will, however, suggest that you explain this situation in another forum (under "family law") and see what kind of response you get there. There are some child advocates over there, and they may be able to help you figure out some avenues for this juvenile.

Feel free to continue here, but you may be better served over on the Family Law forum.

Good luck.

hmmbrdzz

 

[ninnie]

thank you

i'm sorry i'm just so frustated.the advocate from the blind was for me and because they were here to help me so they helped me with my son because he was underage at the time i was having problems with the school mostly then,so they helped me there.I was involved with a program called YAP,Ihad called probation,i had also called a judge.i had myself arrested for domestic dispute one time when i called the police on my son,because they said that would get someone involved asap what a laugh that was.I was trying to get help for my son for awhile before it had to come to this.they never even tried probation but i thought this was best.i do have a post over in family law thank you i'm just so tired i've been trying for over a year and a half and i feel responsible for where my son has ended up,i didn't help him i have destroyed his spirit now he sounds broken.thank you very much.i'll keep fighting.

 

[hmmbrdzz]

Oooo. This kind of sounds like what happened to one of my neighbors. She was sole provider for a grandson because the real mother was kind of.....well.... let's say not able to get along with her son. This boy, at about age 14 and 15, started being abusive (like hitting and threatening to do great harm). She began getting assistance from the "system", and for the next year or longer things only escalated. Finally, after exhausting all avenues, she (at the recommendation of one the "system" people) packed his bags, placed them on the porch, would not allow him in the house, and then called the cops to pick him up and take him to juvenile. Because she was charged with "neglect" (because she wouldn't give him a place to stay, which was part of the plan), he wound up in the "system".
He went through the camps, did not do well in the camps, was constantly in trouble, etc., was always in front of a judge, but then he got a job at Bojangles, and he turned his life around.
He is probably in his mid 20's now and is polite, is drug free, and is doing quite well (and in fact very well) in spite of his youth.
So don't give up hope. I know you feel like it's your fault, but your son could be dealing with a disorder that causes him to feel violent and be impulsive -- regardless of what you do as the mother. Hang in there. Sometimes they've got to be "broken" to be "fixed"!

feel free

hmmbrdzz