Is this not a crime?

[twincrier]

INDIANA-At my father's funeral in December, my aunt stayed behind while the rest of the family left for the cemetery and proceeded to take all the flowers and envelopes from the funeral home. Is there any recourse either against this aunt or the funeral home? A lawyer that we spoke to said no, because the aunt donated the money to another charity (other than the one specified by the family of the deceased). What charges could be filed in a case like this?

[cbg]

Is there some reason you don't believe the attorney?

[twincrier]

Yes, I thought it was illegal to steal money. If anyone can just walk off with money placed into a box for a certain charity and redirect it for their own purpose, then maybe I'll make that my new career. I could go to funeral homes everyday and collect hundreds. Add weddings and graduation parties on the weekends, and we're talking a lucrative business. That's why I presume this is not a lawful act.

[seniorjudge]

Q: Is there any recourse either against this aunt or the funeral home?

A: Yes, on the aunt, you can file a small claims case against bad aunt and ask the cops if you can file criminal charges for stealing. No, on the funeral home unless they did something bad that you did not tell us about.

[Kane]

I don't understand.

Why would somebody take flowers from a funeral home? What possible use for them could your aunt have had?

And why, if the envelopes were stuffed with cash, were people leaving them at the funeral home? What did your aunt do with the envelopes, and what was your plan?

Also, if this woman was an aunt, wasn't she also part of the "family of the deceased"?

[CdwJava]

It sounds to me like everyone kinda left that stuff behind. Maybe the aunt took them to give them back to the other family members? And, as part of the family, whi is to say that she is not entitled to a share of what was there? ... after all, it sounds like it was left anyway.

- Carl

[twincrier]

Originally Posted by Kane

I don't understand.

Why would somebody take flowers from a funeral home? What possible use for them could your aunt have had?

And why, if the envelopes were stuffed with cash, were people leaving them at the funeral home? What did your aunt do with the envelopes, and what was your plan?

Also, if this woman was an aunt, wasn't she also part of the "family of the deceased"?

I can't answer the first couple questions as I don't know her mindset. The envelopes were placed in the box designated for donations in the deceased name. They were to go to a certain non-profit organization.

As for being family, she was my dad's sister, not his child or wife, so she would not be immediate family. She was not given authorization to redirect the funds. She was an attendee to the funeral.

[twincrier]

Originally Posted by CdwJava

It sounds to me like everyone kinda left that stuff behind. Maybe the aunt took them to give them back to the other family members? And, as part of the family, whi is to say that she is not entitled to a share of what was there? ... after all, it sounds like it was left anyway.

- Carl

The family "left" to take the body to the cemetary. I certainly don't think means it's all up for grabs.

[Kane]

So bottom line, you wanted the money to go to charity X, and she (the sister) gave it to charity Y instead?

I would let this go, if I were you. You're not likely to get a prosecutor interested, and you have nothing to gain, even if you do.

It's a mistake to try to get the courts involved in your family disputes.

[CdwJava]

Originally Posted by twincrier

The family "left" to take the body to the cemetary. I certainly don't think means it's all up for grabs.

No ... but it does imply (perhaps incorrectly) that some of it may have been left behind for whomever wanted to deal with it.

I've never seen donation boxes at a funeral, so this is odd to me. And as for flowers and other things, at the funerals I have attended (most recent just a few weeks ago - sadly) the family has seen that the flowers and other belongings were removed when they left the chapel.

- Carl

[seniorjudge]

Originally Posted by CdwJava

...I've never seen donation boxes at a funeral, so this is odd to me....

You've never been to a funeral down South!

Sadly, funerals are the occasions for some of the worst human behavior I have ever seen....

[CdwJava]

Originally Posted by seniorjudge

You've never been to a funeral down South!

Sadly, funerals are the occasions for some of the worst human behavior I have ever seen....

Only southern California - never in THE south.

And I have never been to one where there has been rude, crude, and completely unacceptable behavior.

It's also something that the cops are NOT going to want to get involved in! If there's a way out for them, they will take it.

- Carl

[seniorjudge]

Originally Posted by CdwJava

...Only southern California - never in THE south.

And I have never been to one where there has been rude, crude, and completely unacceptable behavior....

Oh, could I tell you some stories!

[CdwJava]

Originally Posted by seniorjudge

Oh, could I tell you some stories!

So ... all those caricatures of the south are true?

- Carl

[weenor]

Originally Posted by CdwJava

So ... all those caricatures of the south are true?

- Carl

At least as far as southern funerals....