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Rape

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Violated Girl

Guest
I went out Tuesday night with a man that I met through my best friend's husband. This man is his supervisor and thought we'd get along based on how he knows him at work. They've been trying to get us to meet for a few months now, but I've recently gotten involved in a long distance relationship. I only agreed to meet him as a friend and only would go if he knew that I have a boyfriend and I'm not interested in any kind of physical relationship. We went to dinner which went nice, then to a local bar with a live band. I am not a drinker at all and told him I'd have one drink. I didn't know until the next day that he'd gotten me a tequilla shot and from what I'm told that's like fuel for someone who doesn't drink. I was totally disoriented within 5 minutes. He proceded to buy me two mixed drinks and then gave me another shot. I didn't know what I was doing because I was so drunk. After the second shot he brought me to a secluded area and proceded to try to get me naked and have sex with me. I told him I didn't want to so just kissed me and I remember passing out. When I came to he told me that his condom broke! I didn't even know we were having sex. I'd like to know if this constitutes as rape even though I took the first drink willingly. After that first drink I was victim to whatever he had planned because I couldn't make decisions for myself. What do I do?
 


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gypsymlp

Guest
it sounds like you were taken advantage of, how frightening. this is a case of "date rape". you have the option to report this to the police. i know it can be embarrassing, but you might save other victims against this "sick" man.
 
H

Humble Warrior

Guest
Dont get ticked-off at me here,but let me tell you what is probably gonna happen.

They will say,you took the first drink on your own accord,you remember the rest of the drinking,so you must have had some cognitive reasoning when you proceded to drink more.
You remember going to the park ....same reasoning applies. You passed out exactly when,and how do you know you were not consenting?
Then they are going to say,"Why did you wait to report this. "
Then you also have to understand that there is evidence by now,unless you have not yet done your laundry.

I do not agree with what happened in even the slightest bit,but I just wanted you to know what to expect.
 

cbg

I'm a Northern Girl
Excuse me, but agreeing to take one drink does not remotely come close to agreeing to have sex!
 
H

Humble Warrior

Guest
Read slower....comprehend a dictionary will help with the big words
 
it sounds like she might of been given the infamous date rape drug. i think this is more than getting her drunk, this fits the profile.
 

ccarter

Member
I agree with Humble, that is most likely exactly what will happen. It is unfortunate, and if we lived in a perfect world, it wouldn't happen, but we don't.
 
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RedneckRoy

Guest
Let me put in my two cents here. You went out and got yourself drunk. As far as I know and any prosecutor out there knows, you said YES before he stuck it in.

I don't know much about date raping but I sure enough know about drinking. There has been more than one occassion that I have gotten myself drunk and have woken up with some hag laying there next to me. And I ain't ever remembered saying yes, or even taking off my clothes. But I woken up and were naked. Now I ain't ever going to say those women date raped me. I might of said no, I might of said yes. I don't know. This much I know, I was responsible getting myself into those situations.

And you ain't going to like what I have to say next. You took that first drink, the second, the third, etc all by yourself. Ain't no one forced ya to drink. And just what were you doing kissing if you had a boyfriend. You better believe the defense would point that out. And don't go using the "I couldn't make any decisions for myself" because I was drunk. If that were to fly, then you wouldn't have people getting arrested for driving after they drink.
 

cbg

I'm a Northern Girl
The ONLY thing you agreed to was to take a drink. That does not justify anything else that may have happened. You were not consenting to sex because you agreed to take a drink. The fact that you were drinking does not mean it was not rape; in fact, in some states the fact that you were drinking means it was BY DEFINITION rape; if you were drinking it is assumed that you were incapable of making an informed decision to have sex.

It is unfortunately true that the defense will probably try to twist it so that consenting to take a drink comes out like consentual sex. Only you can decide if you are willing to deal with that. The "right" thing to do is to report it, but the "right" thing to do is also to protect yourself. You are the only one who can decide which right thing is the one you can live with, and whether protecting yourself means reporting it or not reporting it. They are not necessarily mutually exclusive.

It's a hard decision to make and the longer you wait, the less credibility you will have. I wish you the best.
 
C

curtisd

Guest
just a thought-if he hadn't told you the condom broke would you have even known he had sex with you and if not how could you swear to tell the truth etc. if you don't know what actually happened?
 

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