restraining order??

[brandy5555]

What is the name of your state? OH

NOT SURE IF THIS GOES HERE BUT.... MY HUSBAND AND I WERE FRIENDS WITH ANOTHER COUPLE. MY HUSBAND HAD AN AFFAIR WITH THE GIRL (OBVIOUSLY). WE ALL KNOW THAT IT HAPPENED AND I AM STILL WITH MY HUSBAND AND THE OTHER COUPLE ARE STILL TOGETHER. THE PROBLEM IS THAT I BLATENTLY TOLD THIS GIRL TO STAY AWAY FROM ME, MY HOUSE, MY HUSBAND'S BUSINESS, ETC. MY HUSBAND PUTS ON "EVENTS" AT HIS SHOP AND HE ASKED THIS GIRLS BOYFRIEND TO HELP OUT. (YES, THEY STILL SPEAK TO EACH OTHER). ANYWAY, HE HAS NEVER ASKED THE GIRL TO HELP HOWEVER, SHE SHOWS UP EVERY EVENT THAT WE HAVE EVEN THO MY HUSBAND HAS TOLD THIS GUY NOT TO BRING HER AROUND ME. ANYWAY, THERE HAS BEEN 3-4 VERBAL ALTERCATIONS BETWEEN MYSELF AND HER BOYFRIEND DUE TO THIS GIRL DIRTY LOOKING ME AND TELLING MY HUSBAND THAT I SAY THINGS TO HER THAT I DO NOT, OR IF I DO SAY SOMETHING SHE BLOWS IT OUT OF PROPORTION. (I KNOW, A LITTLE CHILDISH ON MY PART, BUT SHE DID SLEEP WITH MY HUSBAND IN MY OWN BED, AND I ALSO SAW IT WITH MY OWN 2 EYES). LAST NIGHT, WE HAD A HUGE BLOWOUT OVER THE PHONE. I ADMIT I WAS CALLING HER NAMES THAT HAD TO DO WITH THE AFFAIR. HER BOYFRIEND GOT INVOLVED AND HE STARTED INSULTING ME AND THEN SAID HIS GIRLFRIEND WOULD BEAT ME UP. OF COURSE, I TOLD HIM THAT WOULD BE ONE CHALLENGE I WOULD ARRIVE EARLY TO. ANYWAY, THIS GUY CONTINUES ON AND HE STARTS THREATENING ME WITH A BALL BAT. OF COURSE, I INVITED HIM TO COME OVER AND MEET MY "WOODCHUCK". I WAS EXTREMELY FULL OF RAGE AT THIS TIME. NOT TO MENTION THAT ABOUT 3 WEEKS AGO, THEY CAME TO MY HOUSE TO GET SOMETHING FROM MY HUSBAND. ALSO, RIGHT AFTER ONE OF THE ALTERCATIONS, SOMEONE WROTE A BAD BAD NAME ON THE BACK WINDOW OF MY CAR, (THIS GUY HAS CALLED ME THIS BEFORE) AND ALSO POURED COFFEE OR POP ALL OVER MY CAR. I MADE A POLICE REPORT AND SHOWED THE OFFICER SOME EMAILS THAT PROVED THIS GUY HAD CALLED ME THIS NAME. (NOT A COMMON "BAD" NAME) LIKE I SAID I HAVE REPEATEDLY TOLD THEM TO STAY AWAY FROM ME. MY BIGGEST FEAR IS THAT THIS WILL EXPLODE SOON AND AS MUCH RAGE AS I HAVE AGAINST HER,...YOU CAN FIGURE THAT ONE OUT YOURSELF...SO I GUESS WHAT MY QUESTION IS, IS THERE ANY TYPE OF RESTRAINING ORDER, HARRASSMENT ORDER OR SOMETHING THAT I COULD GET TO PREVENT THEM FROM COMING AROUND ME? MY HUSBAND IS JUST NOT GETTING INVOLVED AND WONT TELL HIM TO NOT BRING HER TO THE BUSINESS. (OBVIOUSLY A MARITAL ISSUE).

PLEASE ADVISE WHAT IF ANYTHING I CAN DO...THANX SO MUCH

 

[stephenk]

why are you YELLING? dont type in capital letters.

What justification would you have to keep her from going to your hubby's business if your hubby doesnt agree with you? It's his business office, right?

Go ahead and get paperwork for a restraining order. The problem is that she can claim you are the one threatening her and you may wind up with a mutual restraining order. So both of you can go to jail if you contact each other in any way. Since you admit to being a provoker, I wouldnt be surprised if she claims you violated the RO by contacting her.

Are you and your hubby in counseling?

 

[brandy5555]

i always type in caps, no yelling intended.

maybe, i dont have "justification" to keep her from the business, however i also work there!!

your opinion on that is the opinion i have received from other male friends, however female friends have seen it in a different way. although, i do appreciate that from you.


i would not mind having a double ro bc i make it a point to not go to the store where she works, and when we are at "events" where i know she will be, i dont go around her. so that would be fine with me. i just done want her on my turf. period.


and yes, we are in counseling, this is the only issue we have a problem with, everything else is very good.

 

[stephenk]

i believe your main concern should not be her. Your concern should be why your husband would be interested in keeping contact with a woman he had an affair with than with making you happy and cutting off all ties to her (including her boyfriend). Who cares if he loses business with the boyfriend. His only concern, if he wants to save the marriage, should be to do everything possible to make you happy.

If you dont think he can do that, you should seriously think about why you would stay with a man who doesnt believe you are his number one concern but would do things to continue to make you unhappy and not trust him.

Good luck.