Serious continual Phone Harassment & Threats

[ksuebee]

What is the name of your state? TN

What kind I do, short of filing a civil suit, to stop someone from calling me and leaving harassing/threatening messages? I told this person to stop calling me over a month ago, and he will not. He calls my cellphone at all hours of the day, and leaves harassing messages. I haven't answered a call from him since i told him to stop calling in february.

I'm almost afraid to do anything at all b/c it might provoke him further, but i'm getting really tired of this.

Any advice is MUCH appreciated. Thanks.

 

[oberauerdorf]

And what did the Davidson, Williamson, Rutherford or other county sherfiff's department or your local police department tell you when you called to file a complaint?

 

[calatty]

Get a restraining order.

 

[ksuebee]

It's Knox County. I haven't called to file a complaint yet b/c i wasn't sure what the reprucussions would be - the guy calling me is completely NUTS, no holds barred, and i'm almost afraid that doing anything at all will only make things worse for me.

I really just want to know all the available options before I do anything and cause him to do something more than just call me, such as poison my dogs, burn my house, etc. etc. I'm not entirely sure that "the law" means anything to him or will scare him off, especially if the law won't do anything TO him unless he actually physically harms me. I felt originally like ignoring his calls would make him eventually give up, but since he's crazy, it's not working. I'm scared of him, but I don't want him to know that b/c i think it might encourage him to be more bold.

What does a restraining order involve? What do I do, what happens next, etc?

Again, many thanks for any advice.

 

[oberauerdorf]

Call the Knox County Sheriff's office at 865.215.2432 and ask to speak with a supervisor regarding a civil harrassement complaint.

Or you can go to the Civil Court office located in Fifth Sessions Court at the following address:

Third Floor
Old Courthouse
300 Main Street
Knoxville, TN

And swear out a complaint for a no-contact order.

One other suggestion. If you have not already done so, go buy an answering machine and leave it on so that all your calls are recorded. IF you get the No contact order and he calls one more time, you want proof that he has violated the order so that he can sit and think about it in jail.

 

[ksuebee]

Thank you sooo much for the information and suggestions. I spoke with the police, and they said that there isn't much I can do unless he physically harms me (or physically causes apprehension of harm), but that I can swear out a warrant and attend a hearing if I want to - but of course, if he does go to jail, he won't stay there long, so it may not be worth aggravating him further.

Since it's my cellphone he's calling (I don't have a home phone), I can't save messages like I'd like to - but I'm going to try and play them from my cellphone into a dictaphone and save them that way, just in case.

Thank you so much for your help.

 

[oberauerdorf]

You're welcome.

And call your cell phone company to see if they can either block his number or record them.

And, if you swear out the warrant you can also, at the same time, ask for a no-contact order (order of protection) which, if he calls you, will be out of your hands then and he'll have to answer to the court.

A few of those nights in jail and big bubba will give him a change of attitude.

 

[JETX]

Actually, your options are very simple.
- You can simply decide to ignore his calls when you see his name on the caller id, or
- You can answer then hang up right away when you recognize his voice, or
- You can contact your cell provider and get another number, or
- You can get a TRO against him (if you can convince a judge of the need).

 

[ksuebee]

QUOTE]A few of those nights in jail and big bubba will give him a change of attitude[/QUOTE]

LOL - ahhh, the happy thought!! It would serve him right. . .

 

[azgrandpa]

OK guys, that's politically correct!

Ok guys, you should be well aware that a guy like this won't give a damn about a piece of paper, or setting in jail a couple days!!

If you swat at a pesky bee, it will probably sting you! Everytime you put one of those options mentioned above, into play; he'll find another way to make you pay, even harder! TROs have probably done as much harm as they have done good, in cases such as this!

I wish there was a sure fire fix for a problem like yours; but unfortunately there isn't. There's only a couple, (legal!), ways that this problem will go away. A) He finds someone else to heap his affections upon, or B) you disappear so completely that he can't find you!

I'm sorry, but, the law just doesn't help you til it's too late!

So, you know him better than us; if you think swatting him might make him STING; I sure wouldn't bother! Keep taking his calls once in awhile, let him know that his calls upset you, ask him to please leave you alone, BUT; DON'T THREATEN HIM! That should keep him on the hook, giving you time to contact some of these "Battered Wife" organizations to see what they can do for you. Also, record the calls and keep them available for later trial evidence.

Radio Shack will probably have a microphone that attaches to the cell by suction cup near the ear piece on the phone case.
Good Luck to you and stay safe!!

 

[ksuebee]

I tend to agree about the state of the law as it pertains to personal relationships not really kicking in until it's too late.

Do you really think it would be better to answer the phone occasionally and tell him how I feel about it, or to just not answer the phone at all (as i have been doing)?

Ignoring him doesn't seem to be helping, and I do know him better - but I often grapple with this. I just can't decide if it will en- or dis- courage him. That old adage about keeping your enemies closer haunts me.

<sigh> I know there are no "answers" to this problem, really. . . Maybe just a lesson to learn that not everyone is quite right in the head - so pick your friends wisely.

Thanks again for everyone's advice.

 

[HomeGuru]

Why not fool him and change your telephone number.

 

[ksuebee]

Well. . . I've considered changing the # - seems easy enough, but also seems like he could interpret it as a form of retaliation & challenge. He proved to be a real wolf in sheep's clothing - makes me nervous. I feel like if I take away the phone contact, he'll try to replace it with physical. Seeing how interested he is in calling, I doubt he will be deferred - just yesterday he said "I'm not gonna give up or go away" - and I haven't answered a call from him since mid-Feb. I mean COME ON!!! Who does this kind of stuff??? gah!

I did delete my personal message at the answering service a few days ago, so now when he calls he gets the prerecorded computer voice instead of me (which he immediately pointed out, in dismay).

 

[HomeGuru]

Change your number.