Spousal Rape

[Lost123]

I'm in Louisiana.

I am divorcing my wife who doesn't want a divorce. She is threatening to have me arrested for spousal rape. She claims I did this throughout our 19 year marriage and ended last year when I left. She was sexually abused as a child so she knows what to say.

What can I do to defend myself? How do I prove I didn't do anything? I'm going to try to get a recording of her saying that if we get back together she will not try to get me arrested. Will this help?

 

[hmmbrdzz]

If you think she knows what to say, you need an attorney for this divorce. Let an attorney tell you if you need to even speak to her and/or what to record.


hmmbrdzz

 

[GKris]

As a member of the male minority who filed for divorce and went through a nasty period due to an unstable female who did not want to end the free ride - I can say from experience....Record every conversation, save every piece of correspondence, and have witneeses present at every meeting, have them in a public place. The reason being is a contested divorce takes a longtime, not knowing what will come in handy 6 months from now is a bad thing. Its better to be prepared than not. You can get a very good voice activated mini-recorder at radioshack for less than 50 bucks and buy a bunch of tapes. Everyday change the tape and date the used one. There is also a pick up that sticks to the telephone and records the conversation for about 3 bucks. The courts are very much in the favor of the female during a divorce, not knocking women - I love them - but its a fact. You need to protect yourself especially with a threat like that. My story is a long one and I wont bore you with it, but she tried something similiar and testified to it on the stand. When the tape was played she about fell over, her lawyer turned green I swear. The judge dismissed her testimoney and refused a charge of perjury because she felt she "was under enough stress". Regardless that the accusation could have cost me a career and child. In a divorce the fact that this is your wife, friend whatever is over. Once the papers are filed and the attorney's are involved, its an all out war. Sad but true.

 

[hmmbrdzz]

That's pretty cool (not being accused but her getting caught). "bu bu bu but, YOUR HONOR"! Oooo. I had to tape a telephone conversation one time (not for divorce proceedings) but I was instructed to do so by attorneys. They took the tape, turned it into transcript and did something with it (I really don't know what), but they used it for leverage of some kind. I was told it was legal in NC to tape a phone conversation as long as one party knew. It was weird, actually, because once you know you're recording yourself, too, and that it's going to be used, you kind of awkwardly hold back on those choice words like, "you %#@& mo**&%$ fu**er".


hmmbrdzz

 

[GKris]

Its like being recorded on duty. It keeps you cool, calm, and collected. On the rare ocassion that a complaint comes in I sound like the most polite and professional officer on the face of the earth. I actually got a rudeness complaint for saying "Have a nice day". As long as you never forget for one minute that is...

 

[DogToenails]

Come, this is the 21st century. Go video. You can buy a nice set-up for around $150. Look up the little ball cams that you can plant and hook up to a VCR. They're even motion-detecting so you don't waste tape. You walk in the room and the thing starts recording; you leave and it pauses. And yes, it records sound and conversation nicely. Here's a tip, though; make sure there isn't a window in the background with a view of the street, otherwise you get nice little records of every stinkin' car that goes by. DOH!!!!

 

[hexeliebe]

BE CAREFUL

As for recording any phone conversations, check with an attorney or your local statues on the rules governing recording the conversation of a third-party. In most states you must inform the other party that you are recording them otherwise you are violating their rights and the tape won't be allowed in court.

In some jurisdictions this applies to ANY electronic surviellance device including web cams. You could be opening yourself up to more trouble than this is worth.

The easiest thing to do is hire an attorney and tell your attorney to handle all contact with your soon to be ex. Then place a recording device on your phone with the appropriate message (or better still, hook up an answering machine and don't answer any calls until they go through the machine.)

As for her coming to your home, don't let her in and record (write down) any time she contacts you in this way. If it becomes a problem ask your attorney for an order of protection.

Yes, some may think a big strapping guy getting an order of protection from a poor little lady is a whimpy thing but you are protecting yourself from an advasary.

 

[Lavalamp]

One can record a conversation in order to defend oneself any time and any where.

You can't record a conversaiton and use the record to prosecute someone unless the parties are aware.

 

[hexeliebe]

I would suggest that before

you do record anything not belonging to you and not in the public venue, you check the applicable laws.

Even if it's your own phone, you cannot record an uninformed party without their permission, regardless of the use of the recording.

After you check the state statutes where you are located come back and tell me I'm wrong. I'm not being prissy here, I've just had to work within the wiretap and illegal surveillence laws for most of my adult life and have become intimate with them.

 

[GKris]

In Texas, that is completely 100% false. I don't know what it is for sure in Louisianna, but in civil cases like divorce, the standards for admissability in court are a lot less. I am willing to bet since both states shares the same circuit court of appeals that the standards for recording are the same. For divorce court it is perfectly legal and accepted that the ex need not be advised they are being recorded. In either event, the recordings are being made for protection, not prosecution and is even more acceptable. Its been done for years and years.

 

[hexeliebe]

Well silly me

I didn't know that texas law stated that if something had been done for years that makes it legal.

 

[JETX]

I'm in Louisiana.

I am divorcing my wife who doesn't want a divorce. She is threatening to have me arrested for spousal rape. She claims I did this throughout our 19 year marriage and ended last year when I left. She was sexually abused as a child so she knows what to say.

What can I do to defend myself? How do I prove I didn't do anything? I'm going to try to get a recording of her saying that if we get back together she will not try to get me arrested. Will this help?

Louisiana is one of 18 states that does not recognize 'marital or spousal' simple rape or sexual assault.. Simply, as long as you were married at the time and living together, you are exempt from the states simple rape and/or sexual assault laws.

http://www.socialwork.lsu.edu/Marital-exempt/law.htm
http://www.ilj.org/dv/exhibits/exhibit1.html

 

[GKris]

***I didn't know that texas law stated that if something had been done for years that makes it legal. ****

Well bygod, you do now. Lets all sing. "The stars at night, are big and bright...."

 

[Boxcarbill]

***I didn't know that texas law stated that if something had been done for years that makes it legal. ****

Well bygod, you do now. Lets all sing. "The stars at night, are big and bright...."

If anyone wants to look up the law on a particular state, here is a link.

http://www.rcfp.org/taping/index.html

 

[JETX]

My earlier post didn't clarify the confusion regarding 'recordings', so I will now.

Louisiana:
"La. Rev. Stat. § 15:1303: Unless a criminal or tortious purpose exists, a person can record any conversations transmitted by wire, oral or electronic means to which he is a party, or when one participating party has consented. A violation of the law, whether by recording or disclosing the contents of a communication without proper consent, carries a fine of not more than $10,000 and jail time of not less than two and not more than 10 years at hard labor."
*** So, as long as you are a party to the conversation, you can record.

Texas:
" Texas Penal Code § 16.02: So long as a wire, oral or electronic communication — including the radio portion of any cordless telephone call — is not recorded for a criminal or tortious purpose, anyone who is a party to the communication, or who has the consent of a party, can lawfully record the communication and disclose its contents.

Under the statute, consent is not required for the taping of a non-electronic communication uttered by a person who does not have a reasonable expectation of privacy in that communication. See definition of "oral communication," Texas Code Crim. Pro. Art. 18.20."

LavaLamp said, "One can record a conversation in order to defend oneself any time and any where.

You can't record a conversaiton and use the record to prosecute someone unless the parties are aware."
*** Clearly from the above statutes... he/she needs to replace the lightbulb.
And no... Texas law is not created by how long something 'had been done'.