Stalking Help

[casper39]

What is the name of your state? Ohio

I have an ex-business associate that I think may be violating the anti-stalking laws, at least from what I've read on the USDOJ site. The associate is male, and I am female, we are both married (to other people!). It is fairly widely known that this individual has had romantic feelings for me, although he has never admitted it in writing. He went so far as to hire my mother to work for him after I left, and has pursued a relationship with her as well, and constantly tries to stay on top of my actions. He has broken a wide variety of employment and tax laws in his business, all of which I have pointed out to him. He continually tries to find ways to initiate contact with me - first via phone, until I blocked his number. Lately, he has been emailing me. In one of his latest tyrades against me, he indicated that he knew something about my private life, which he could only have found out by searching internet records - something again, which is widely known that he does. He spends hours upon hours finding things out about people, for no apparent reason. I responded to a couple of his latest emails requesting and then finally, demanding that he stop contacting me, even pointed out the page on the USDOJ website about stalking, and using the internet to harass people. It still continued. Today I received another email full of false accusations and lies - I can't tell anymore if this man is delusional or just a liar. The things he accuses me of are somewhat trivial, but angers me because of the lack of truth, and the fact that my mother still works for him, and I am certain he is spreading that filth to her as well.

What can I do here? I don't have records from all the previous times he contacted me, although plenty of other people in my life were here when they happened, and many have had encounters with him themselves. I did, however, save all the emails I rec'd yesterday, including my replies demanding he stop. There are plenty of other instances of his harassment, but I never retained any proof, as I was not aware of the depth of his possible stalking. Don't the anti-stalking laws cover electronic stalking? Prodding into someone's personal life using the internet for no reason? Doesn't that cover email harassment as well? Don't my requests for him to stop count for anything? I'm very frustrated, and while not entirely fearful, am somewhat concerned. More than anything, it is a waste of my time and energy and I want it to stop.

Any advice?

Thank you.What is the name of your state?

 

[Shay-Pari'e]

Change your E-mail address. If he continues, file for a restraining order. He can't write you if he doesn't know your addy.

Why are you all up in his business if you don't work there? Isn't that inviting trouble?

 

[casper39]

I'm not sure what makes you think I'm "all up in his business." I used to be a consultant for his business years ago, but haven't had anything to do with him since. I don't initiate contact, nothing. I've known the man for 20 years, however, and know how he works. If it were as easy as changing my email address, I would do that. He uses my corporate email address, which is published on all of my stationery, website, etc. Changing that with all of my clients would be monumental and expensive. Why should the onus be on me to avoid him? Shouldn't it be on him to obey the law and stop?

 

[Shay-Pari'e]

I'm not sure what makes you think I'm "all up in his business." I used to be a consultant for his business years ago, but haven't had anything to do with him since. I don't initiate contact, nothing. I've known the man for 20 years, however, and know how he works. If it were as easy as changing my email address, I would do that. He uses my corporate email address, which is published on all of my stationery, website, etc. Changing that with all of my clients would be monumental and expensive. Why should the onus be on me to avoid him? Shouldn't it be on him to obey the law and stop?

The point is, is that he is not breaking any laws. Can't you block his addy? The problem is, you state yourself you don't have proof other than a couple non-threatening mails.

If he continues to mail you after you demanded he stop, then file for a RO through the courts.

 

[tranquility]

Most e-mail systems have the ability to filter things. Why don't you have the server or your personal reader filter his stuff into the trash?

 

[ezmarelda]

Why do you even bother reading what he sends? Would it not be a simple solution to just delet anthing you receive from him?

 

[casper39]

I did that at first, but yesterday, for example, he sent 15 emails, and 3 today. I responded to the first few, asking him and then demanding him to stop, and even threatened legal action, to no avail. I haven't responded since. I am not afraid for my safety, necessarily, but am concerned about my mother's, since she still works there. I've approached her many times about quitting, but she can't/won't until she finds another position. He has a very explosive temper, and his wife has stated that he's pushed her several times.

I've been reading some of the anti-stalking laws applicable to Ohio, and it appears that he has violated the ones related to internet use. I'm torn between blowing this up into something that's really nothing, and not taking it seriously enough. There are other events, that happened many years ago, that I had brushed off as just annoying, but after reading some of the anti-stalking sites, I think he was stalking me back then too. I used to joke about him stalking me back then to my friends, but in hindsight, maybe I should have taken it more seriously. Will any of those past actions come into play if I pursue this, even if my only proof is verbal? Not just my word against his, but other people who witnessed his actions?

Thanks again.

 

[speedallurement]

he most likely wont get a conviction if you charge him with stalking. this sounds like a relationship civil matter. Like others have posted , change your email , change your phone number,

Get a restraining order on him, show proof that he hasnt stopped trying to initiate contact with you. After you told him to stop, And always be prepared for his defense.

He most likely get just no contact orders and personal conduct orders. The junge prolly wont grant stay away orders

I dunno how easy it is for someone to get a restraining order, but i believe that their had to be some form of threat?? i could be wrong.

If the order is granted and he violates it he will go to jail. Im sure one time in jail is enough for him to want to stop. But its on the ruling of the judge wether he goes to jail or pays a fine.

althought since you mom works for him your still gonna have some form of comminication with him.

Its not illegal on a restraining order for him to talk about you or ask about you from other poeple.

soon he will find resolve in the situation.