Statutory rape

[sck2stomach]

My friend is 15 and she is dating an 18 year old highschool dropout who abuses her, he hits her with a bamboo stick and practices karate on her, he has even escalated to hitting her across the face, I live in New York and was wondering who has to report this, should i tell her mother, should i bring this to the police? This man or little bo as i call him, has many connections where i live and i fear if anything is done he will have someone hr my friend. My friend is approaching their one year anniversary and she says that she loves him, can I bring these charges or does it have to be her legal guardian...
In very desperate need of answer becase i have searched through over 1000 pages n this topic and even read the politicl handbook on statutory rape but have not found anything tha tells me whether i can help my friend without risking her life.
Please help
NY

 

[stephenk]

you live in new york and the girl lives where? Where does her mom live?

next time you see him smack her around, call the police. you will be the witness, so you need to figure out if helping her is more important than your fear of her boyfriend.

 

[sck2stomach]

...

The girl lives in NY and so does the mother, I have never seen the guy hit her but she has bruises and has told me that he has, I am not as much afriad of him as i think she is but he is still not someone i would like to mess with but i will if it means the safety of my friend
NY

 

[BelizeBreeze]

If the girl is still in school contact her school counselor. If the counselor suspects abuse, they are required by law to inform the authorities. If the girl is not in school, contact the abuse hotline at Crime Victims Hotline ( 800) 365-3111 OR Domestic Violence Shelter Tour. 2 Lafayette Street. New York, NY 10007. Phone: 212-577-7700. Fax: 212-385-0331. 24-hour hotline

 

[dequeendistress]

Child protective services for your jurisdiction as well could be notified... 1-800-342-3720


The purpose of the Child Protective Services Act of 1973 is to encourage more complete reporting of child abuse and maltreatment. The law established a Child Protective Service in each county in New York. Each Child Protective Service is required to investigate child abuse and maltreatment reports, to protect children (under 18 years old) from further abuse or maltreatment, and to provide rehabilitative services to children, parents, and other family members involved...from http://www.ocfs.state.ny.us/main/cps/

Since you really do not know who is inflicting the abuse on the child...could be anyone, the parent should notice the bruising and this should be stopped...who is to know what happens behind closed doors.

(why do you have the heading statutory rape on this thread?)

 

[sck2stomach]

...

The reason I put Statutory rape in the title is that they are sexually active and i was not sure if i had enough proof of abuse but i knew that there could be proof of statutory rape, i know she consents to it but I also know the age of consent is 16 and she is still 15 so i'm hoping to get her out of this relationship and away from this guy as soon as i can... I do know it is her boyfriend who abuses her, she lives only with her mother who works in a hospital and has a heart condition and i am positive it is not her. plus my friend has said to me many times that he practices karate on her and shoved her into a banister, but she claims it all to be accidents, but he abuses her mentally as well by putting her down and calling her stupid, he is a high school dropout himself so i dont know where he thinks he can stand on that issue, but i am really worried about my friend..
Thank you to the people who gave me the numbers but I'm not sure whether i can prove to anyone that he abuses her, should i take pictures of the bruises or record her saying it? i know this would be betraying my friends trust but I would rather her be mad at me than be sexually active at all or with someone who mentally and physically abuses her

 

[dequeendistress]

Listen...what YOU do is report what YOU know...the authorities will handle the balance.

 

[Beth3]

Thank you to the people who gave me the numbers but I'm not sure whether i can prove to anyone that he abuses her, should i take pictures of the bruises or record her saying it? YOU don't prove anything. You contact the proper authorities, tell them what you know, and let them handle it.

i know this would be betraying my friends trust but I would rather her be mad at me than be sexually active at all or with someone who mentally and physically abuses her That is exactly right. Better she be angry at you and out of this horribly abusive relationship, than for you to do nothing and have your friend end up emotionally and physically impaired for life - or dead. Domestic violence only escallates over time so whatever you're seeing now is only going to get worse.

Now make the phone calls.

 

[dequeendistress]

I really hope and pray that you report this situation.

Many times there is no second chance for the abused.

Call.

 

[sck2stomach]

...

If i was to report the situation, would i contact my local precinct(78th) or would I have to go to different authorities? Should her mother be informed because she does not know of the situation? Would her Mother be the one to bring up the charges? What is the minimum amount of time this guy could be put away for if he is convicted? Could he get parole, and if he did would it be safer for my friend to go to a different state?

 

[dequeendistress]

You can call one of the places already listed or you can go to police yourself. I would advise that you report it to child protective services and they will contact police.

What you need to stop doing is dragging your feet.

If you report this to someone and they do not feel they are the proper authority they will advise you who to contact.

DO something.

 

[You Are Guilty]

You don't need to do anything except place a call to ACS (Administration for Children's Services) through their 1-800 number:

Call the NYS Central Register Child Abuse & Maltreatment Hotline to Report Child Abuse and Neglect
General Public: 1-800-342-3720
Outside NY State: 1-518-474-8740
TDD: 1-800-638-5163
If a child is in immediate danger, call 911.

This number will ring to a state agency who will take down the details like your friend's name and address, and a general description of the alleged abuse. This agency will generate a report that gets sent down to the local ACS office, who will send a caseworker to interview your friend and her family.

Now, because you're not something called a "mandated reporter", your personal information is prohibited from being disclosed by ACS. (Mandated reporters are people like police, doctors and guidance counselors who absolutely have to call in these reports when they suspect abuse.) That means your information (like your name) is confidential.

It's possible the caseworker will contact you to discuss what you saw. Tell them everything! If it makes you feel better, you can remind them that you want to remain anonymous and it's illegal for them to disclose the person making the report to anyone.

Please report this. I used to work for ACS and I cannot begin to tell you how many cases I got where situations like this occurred, but no one reported them and then a little while later, something awful happened.

It's better to help your friend now than risk losing her forever.

Please call.

 

[dequeendistress]

You are guilty, do you think he will take down that number since I also told him way up there?

 

[You Are Guilty]

You are guilty, do you think he will take down that number since I also told him way up there?

"He"?

You did indeed post it first and had I read the replies before responding, I'd have known that. However, I figured this was a good case of "reply first, read later".

Hopefully, they'll call.

 

[dequeendistress]

I assumed it was a "he" using my intution that a female would have already called or castrated the guy.

No Prob guilty I was in no way attempting to reprimand or point out "Hey I said it first"

Say it again too...

Please sck2stomach have you called yet?